Scars of a Torn Heart
by one2love
Summary: What happens when 2 lonely and broken souls meet? Will they find happiness with such dark pasts? Can an ex-slave and a vampire help each other when they both think themselves monsters? Will they find Love or will they force each other apart because of their past? A story of Pain, Love, Loss and Friendship. Edward/Bella. Full Summery inside. Please Read & Review.
1. Chapter 1:Decisions

**summery-**

**The Cullens are in Australia when a new influenza out brake strikes. Carlisle asked Edward to help him with a patient that has been through so much in her life; and will change Edward forever. The trauma of slavery affected Isabella greatly but can Edward be able to help her, not only in her battle with the influenza but also the battle that goes on in her mind?**

**What will happen to the two lonely souls? Will they find happiness? Will they find Love? Or will they force each other apart because of their pasts?**

**And will they finally find their Happy Ending?**

Stephanie Meyer owns all Twilight Saga Charters etc...

* * *

_On the surface I seem not so damaged,_

_My true scars lay deep within, _

_I keep it hidden from the eyes of the world,_

_ For only you to see,_

_For it is you who will patch my wounds, _

_You who will piece back together my torn and broken heart, _

_You who will coat my scars with love _

_I have never known._

Chapter 1: Decisions

We had moved to Australia for a change of scenery seeing as we had lived so long in North America and Esme wanted to try something different so we ended up living in the mountains on the east coast. Rose, Emmet, Alice, Jasper and I had night classes at the university- I personally was studying medicine. Esme worked from home designing houses as she loved to do and Carlisle was working night shifts at the local hospital of a little town called Dungog when there was a new influenza outbreak. This new sickness seemed to spread like wild fire which was fairly common on this continent in the drier seasons. The similarities between this infection and the Spanish influenza seemed so closely related as they took the lives of so many.

We had been there for about three months from when the first of the outbreak come into serious effect. The hospital was receiving more and more people coming in with the symptoms. Carlisle tried his very best to help everyone but…it seemed in the beginning that there was really little to no hope for anyone that became infected- especially without a cure to even speak of at that moment in time.

Carlisle had even started researching at home when he was not able to be at the hospital or when he was not spending time with Esme. I would help in any why that I could with his research- knowing full well how each death that he could not prevent affected him.

I was in my bedroom reading _Wuthering Heights-_ though I knew the book word for word and was not practically fond of the book I found myself reading it anyway. I had just finished the sixth chapter as I heard Carlisle come up our drive way of our cottage style mansion in the Chichester state forest. The sun was rising up above the tree tops as the scent of the morning dew drifted through my open window from the lush green grass of the meadow and the sound of the bubbling little stream that flowed next to the meadow at the edge of the trees. The streams of sun light that flowed throw the window glittered off my cold marble skin always reminding me of what I am.

Carlisle came up the stairs to the second floor that had my room farthest down the hall- his thoughts surrounded a girl that was in the hospital. He came closer to the door and I looked to it expectantly and spoke, "Come in, Carlisle. Is there something you wanted?"

As Carlisle opened the door I saw he had a file in his hand. I searched his face as worry broke through his calm façade.

"Yes... I was wondering if you could help me with something- but you don't have to if you don't want to..." When he spoke his voice was unsure. I nodded for him to continue. "You see, one of the patients at the hospital... that has the new influenza is having a hard time fighting the virus- because it seems the while her body is fighting the influenza, her mind is fighting some other battle, and it's not letting her get better…" In his mind I see a memory of when she seemed to have had a nightmare and her face held fear and so much tortured agony. She looked so fragile, so delicate, her skin damp and paled with sickness as she cried out in anguish and torment.

I looked at Carlisle's distressed face and asked, "What happened to her?" My voice quivered lightly.

Carlisle swallowed hard before he spoke, "About four years ago she was kidnapped and sold as a slave. According to the report it seems that she became what is known as a War dancer-these war dancers are supposed to an untameable female slave like worriers but they are seen as myths- since to come one they would have had to go through tortures and very painful tests to see if they survived ...basically all don't even get though first few trials and as they go on they get harder. The last one is where- if they get that far- they usually die from blood loss when they mark her for the rest of her life...

"And she survived it all- the poor child," he said shaking his head looking off past me and into the forest surrounding the house, "she survived three and half years of being a slave and somehow she got out because the guard helped her escape- when they were going to sell her again- happened to be a father of a young girl she had saved from being killed and as repayment he set her free. She ran as fast as she could across the jungle were she was found by a small Australian army division that was on petrol of the area. They took her back to the army base, and took her home to Australia." He held the file up, "I have her medical file," he said as he handed the file to me.

Her file was thick- manly with what had been done from when she got back and the doctors' reports and pictures of her wounds. When I saw the things that they had done to the poor innocent girl I was horrified- but when I saw the image on her back I could not hold in a growl of disgrace. There was an image carved into the flesh of her back and gold poured into the wound to have the image stand out amongst all the other scars that littered her body. A design of swirls that surrounded an image of a lion...the entire design covered her back. The design would have been beautiful if on a canvas and not caved into the flesh of a child...

The file said her name was Isabella Marie Swan. She was seventeen years old- so she was fourteen when she was taken. The reports said that every bone in her body was broken at least once and that because of the extent of damage to her body she will never be able to have children. The reports say that she only went the therapist that they had assigned her once and she never spoke a word to the doctor- she manly kept to herself about what happened.

The file also had how she was doing with the influenza- and she was not doing well at all- she was definitely going downhill but she was still a fighter and when they thought that she wasn't going to make it she would still be there fighting the next day. But her condition was not in proving and it would just be a matter of time. She could get better, she was strong enough but whatever it is going on in her mind it's taking her down mentally and physically.

That's when I decided that I'd do everything I could to help her because she deserves a chance, a chance to have a happy life and that she can move on from the nightmare of being a slave to a heartless monster that dared to call himself her master.

Once I'd read though all of her file and closed it I held it in my hands though physically to a vampire it was light as a feather but to me its wait was a burden heaver then all others- that I was going to put on myself to help a child that had be through what I could not even dream of in my worst nightmares. When I look into her mind I know I won't like it but if I could use my gift to help the girl I would go through any amount of anguish that was to come to help her.

I looked up to Carlisle- my farther in every sense of the word that counted and saw the wisdom and over flowing compassion for others with understanding and love. He had a reverence for life and that's way he became a doctor because he wanted to help others in showing compassion though saving lives.

In his mind I saw my face and it had a look of great determination and consideration. His thoughts showed that ether way he would understand- because once I accepted the task there would be no going back. I looked back at the file that I held in my stone hands and I thought it over again before I spoke- making sure this is what I wanted to do, "I'll do it. I help her," I looked up to Carlisle, his eyes held concern and kindness.

"You know what may lie ahead of you if you except?" his voice full of concern.

"Yes and I will take whatever may come," My voice filled with determination.

"I'm proud of you Edward- it is a big burden that is going to be on your shoulders. But I think you can carry it," He put his hand on my shoulder and gave me a reassuring pat.

I stood and became eye level with him as he gave me a fatherly hug. When we parted he said once again "I'm proud of you Edward." Then he went down stairs to talk with Esme.

I sat back on my couch and wondered if I was prepared for what was to come, but all I could think was to just do my best. I got up and headed down stairs. Jasper and Emmet were playing Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2 on the x box 360. When I came in Jasper was wining and Emmet was getting competitive as per usual. Emmet was getting angry because Jasper kept tweaking Emmett's emotions that he almost broke his controller...again. I just shook my head and sat down next to my crazy brothers. In the end Emmet gave up and complained that Jasper cheated by screwing with his emotions- he was basically having one of his Emmet tantrums and stomping his foot while Jasper sat back on the couch and tried yet failed to not laugh to hard and ended up rolling on the floor in laughter. After a while Emmet calmed down and went to look for Rose. Even I could not hold in my chuckles.

When Emmet left I grew silent- thinking on what I would be doing tomorrow night at the hospital. Jasper looked at me concerned '_What is wrong? You're worried about something'_. He thought in his mind- tilting his head to the side in question.

I took an unneeded deep breath and stated "I'm going to the hospital tomorrow night. Carlisle needs my help with a special patient that's in his care."

_'How are they special?'_

'She went through a lot- more than anyone can suffer..." I closed my eyes and continued "she was a slave." Silence fell for a while. Jasper was deep in thought when I spoke "I'm going to hunt. Want to come with me?"

Jasper looked to me and shrugged "OK. Maybe we can see if we can take on some crocs," He said in his southern ascent with a devilish smile.

I called out to Carlisle and anyone listening, "Were going hunting, be back later," then we raced out of the house into the Australian country side.

The wind blew through my hair making it go into a mass of bronze disarray. I always felt better running when I was human, it made me forget my troubles- I remember that much. But being at vampire speed was exhilarating- to feel the mussels in your legs moving like the bet of a silent drum pushing faster and faster and still not getting tiered or sore...the freedom of it.

I breezed through the bush land seeing every stone, very moving leaf, every bird, animal and insect around me. I decided just to take down some big kangaroos; there not the nicest but not the worst thing I've tried but their a different taste.

I picked up their sent from further north and ran towards them. Three kangaroos were lapping up the water of a stream. I went into a crouch and leap at the biggest. He came down easily as I broke its neck and bit into his flesh as the warm red liquid filed my mouth, easing the burn in my throat but not quite satisfying it-never quite satisfying it. Drinking quickly I ran after the other two. Once I had taken my fill and cleaned up my mess I went to meet up with Jasper.

He was sitting up in a tree about a hundred meters back from a creek.

I quickly climbed the tree and sat next to him. He was carefully watching two crocodiles on the side of the creek.

"I'll take the one on the left and you'll take the one on the right," Jasper whispered, side glancing at me.

"Got it," I whispered back nodding.

We leaped from the tree to the ground and sped forward towards the crocs. They sensed us and got ready to attack. I leaped at the right croc as it snapped at me. We rolled along the ground as it tried to get the upper hand but it failed... miserably. I sunk my teeth into its neck and the blood of this cold blooded creature flowed in to my mouth and down my throat- by that time the crocodile had lost all its energy in the struggle.

When we had finished our hunt it was late morning the day after we had left. We ran back home and went to our rooms to get a shower- to get rid of the dirt and mud from our little match with the crocs and got changed.

When I went down stairs; Alice, Emmet, Rose and Esme were watching the news. Carlisle was reading a thick book while also listening to the TV. Emmet looked up from the TV to me. "Wrestle any crocs while you were away?"

"Yep, we both did."

Emmet looked back at the TV and thought glumly, '_Wish I could have gone- but of course I had to play "Boy Barbie" with Alice and My Rosy'. _I fort back a snicker. When Alice and Rose wanted to do something they will find any away to have it happen and since Alice can see the future she'll 'see' if it will worked there's no stopping her when she gets excited- not even Jasper can calm her down.

When six pm came around Carlisle and I went to get ready to go to the hospital. We said our good-byes to everyone and I went into the kitchen to get my keys to my black Audi A7 Sport back Concept. It was mature yet with the adjustments that Rose and I made it was also youthful- just the way I liked it...

Carlisle went in his Mercedes and I followed behind him. When we got to the hospital I was slightly nerves but I pushed the feeling to the back of my mind and continued to follow Carlisle to sign in- Carlisle had arranged that I would be one the staff so I could go anywhere I needed to.

Miss Isabella Swan was in one of the inner rooms of the hospital. I pulled what I could from the minds around me about Isabella- she was in room 53A. Carlisle got different things for me so I wouldn't have to leave her as much.

We walked down a hall that had doors on both sides- some open, some not. I counted each door as we past it ...47A, 48, 49,50,51,52...53A. We stopped outside the door and I tried not to concentrate on what was behind this particular door.

Carlisle looked at me full of concern "Are you sure you want to do this?"

I looked to him in the eye, "Yes," I said nodding my voice filled with determination.

_'I hope your right Edward' _he thought. He put his hand on the doorknob- turning it then letting it swing open.

There what I saw broke my un-beating, stone heart and would change me forever.

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	2. Chapter 2: Knowing Bella

**summery-**

**The Cullens are in Australia when a new influenza out brake strikes. Carlisle asked Edward to help him with a patient that has been through so much in her life; and will change Edward forever. The trauma of slavery affected Isabella greatly but can Edward be able to help her, not only in her battle with the influenza but also the battle that goes on in her mind?**

**What will happen to the two lonely souls? Will they find happiness? Will they find Love? Or will they force each other apart because of their pasts?**

**And will they finally find their Happy Ending?**

Stephanie Meyer owns all Twilight Saga Charters etc...

* * *

_… He put his hand on the doorknob and turned it letting it swing open._

_There what I saw broke my un-beating, stone heart and would change me forever…._

Chapter 2: Knowing Bella

There she was lying on the bed. It was clear the she was tens as she had a strangle hold on the sheets at her side-her breathing was ragged and her brow was in a deep frown. Her mouth was in a straight line as I 'saw' her mind- it came on to me tenfold. It was so much clearer than anyone else's mind and easy yet so hard…

_'She was on a county road nothing but trees and one strip of road. She was running away from something- or someone. Her face held fear and then I saw it- a black SUV with tinted windows was coming fast; it swerved in front of her making her stop. Five men came out surrounding her. Then one came at her trying to grab her but she fort back with all her might kicking and screaming. She managed to punch one of them in the face and he fell back but then another came at her trying to hold her down to get her in the car. When they finally manage to get the struggling girl into the SUV they covered her mouth and injected her with a needle._ Isabella awoke sobbing; her breathing even more ragged- her heart beat was rapid.

I walked over to her and stroked her hair that was now damp with sweat. Trying to reassure her until her breathing stabilized and her heart beat went back to a normal steady rhythm. Her eyes went from afraid to a questioning gaze and the question in her mind was clear _who is he?_

"I'm Edward Cullen- I'm Dr Carlisle Cullen's adopted son. I'm going to help you get through this," I answered her gaze and her thoughts.

"I'm Bella," she choked out- barely a whisper

"Yes I know- I read your file- and I'm going to be here for you as long as you need me," I said smiling down at her reassuringly. I looked around; on the table there was 'The Host'- a book by Stephanie Meyer. Bella followed my gaze and looked at me.

"I was reading it before..." she whispered-not finishing her statment.

"Do you want me to read it to you?"

She nodded shyly so I sat down on the chair next to the bed and opened the book. I read to her for hours. In her mind I could see the story unfold but as she started to get sleepy I closed the book and set it down.

"You need to sleep," '_please no! I don't what to be alone' _her mind begged to no one "I'll be here- I won't leave you alone. I promise," I said soothing her.

Her eyes closed after a few minutes and her breathing deepened and evened out. Her mind went blank as she fell into a deep slumber.

I wrote down her vitals on her chart and then replaced her IV drip and then I sat down again thinking about her- studying her. Her breath was wheezy but she was calm. Sweat seeped down her for-head so I got a damp cloth and dabbed the moisture away from her for-head.

I sat back and watched her for hours but it only felt like minutes or even seconds when images in her mind came- so clear and so painful. _She was in a dark room curled up shivering on the filthy stone floor. Then I saw a man come over to her and grab her by her hair and beat her... Images started coming faster and faster- all horrible, getting bloodier and bloodier. As each image went on she was losing herself, her face became empty but her eyes- her eyes were as if they were on fire with hatred- _Her screams brought me out from her mind…she was rapidly shaking her head from side to side- uselessly trying to get rid of the nightmares. Then she bolted strait up and I heard the ripping of flesh and the smell of her blood- her blood smelled like fresh freesia. I hadn't noticed the mouth-watering sent underneath the stench of sickness- but I quickly cut of my air supply trying not to remember the scent of her blood... I grabbed a cloth and lifted up the back of her top. I quickly pressed the cloth on the wound to stop the bleeding.

I rubbed her arm soothing her but she didn't cry out in pain- she didn't make a sound. I knew she was in pain but it didn't bother her as much as I would have thought. Soon she calmed down but she still had a death grip on my arm and if I was human I would certainly be in pain. When she looked to me her eyes were wide but calmer than they were then before.

"I'm going to go and get a bandage for your back but I promise I won't be long," still she didn't say a word but her mind told me that she didn't want me to go "don't worry I'll be back in no time at all. I Promise".

I quickly left and got the bandages, among other things with some cream for the wounds on her back. Once I collected all the supplies I needed from the nurses I quickly hurried back.

She looked unblinking and unseeing in to space- her face was even paler then before as she remembered her nightmare. I quickly came to her side and sat behind her.

"Shshsh. It's fine everything is fine- it was just a nightmare. That won't happen to you again- the past is the past. They won't hurt you ever again- I promise," I said trying to calm her. "I'm just going to lift your top up so I can get look at your back. Ok?" I said telling her what I was going to do as not to startle her. She nodded her head slowly and so I gently lifted her top. The carving in her back was so precise, so carful yet so very barbaric. If I were human I would have more than likely been sick to my stomach at the sight. I pushed the beast down that roared inside of me- the beast that longed for her beautiful blood that was so close to me. The beast imagined me just leaning down as if to kiss her neck but instead sink my raiser sharp teeth in to her soft flesh and feel the blood on my tong...

I shook the thought off and concentrated on what I was supposed to do. I gently washed away the blood on her back and cleaned it all up. I put some cream on the wounds so they will heal faster and then I wrapped a bandage around her middle gently but firmly so it couldn't slip.

I looked over to her bag and saw that it was full of her clothes so I went over and collected one of her p-jammer button up tops and took it over to her "your top has blood all over it," I said as I walked back to my spot behind her. I carefully slipped her dirty top of and slipped the clean one on. She quickly buttoned the front up on her top and then I helped her lay back as I moved to the chair next to her bed once more.

She reached for my hand and I placed mine in hers. I smiled down at her- observing her features- eyes held trust but also uncertainty. Though she still didn't really know me she trusted me.

"Tell me... about you?" she whispered breathlessly.

"I was born in Chicago in America...," she listened intently as I told her as much as I could about my life. That Carlisle adopted me and my brothers and sisters- that I played the piano. I told her what little I could remember my biological parents. Time passed by as I told her about Emmet, Rose, Alice, Jasper, Esme, Carlisle.

Soon she was once more getting tied as her eyes dropped and soon she fell in to a dreamless sleep. I studied her again and I thought of about her as she slept and I hope that she could sleep peacefully for at least this once. I checked her vitals- like I did every few of hours and as I worked I started to hum. As it unfolded in my head I realised that it was lullaby- Bella's lullaby. I hummed for hours trying to get every note right. As I hummed she started to stir- her eyes fluted open and her deep brown eye flashed up to me. She had been asleep for about the whole day and she still did not have her colour back but she looked a little stronger.

"Read to…to me again. Please?" she did not whisper any more but she was still quiet. I got her book and read to her once more-and as it was I ended up reading the rest of the book to her.

"What did you think?" I asked as I closed the book and sat it in the bed side table.

"I liked it very much- you tell it well," she said pausing for a moment, "now it's my turn to tell you about me…" she told me about her parents –Renee and Charlie Swan. Charlie was chef police in the small town, Renee a teacher at the school. She told me about her friends from school and from the local Baptist church that her grandmother compelled her family to go to before she past and then it simply became a willing custom of sorts. Then she told me of her friends that had saved her and brought her back to Australia- Major Aaron Smith, Captain Alex Walker and Lieutenant John Jones. Something in her mind told me that there was more to the three soldiers then she was telling me but I didn't push it- we did only meet a few days ago.

As time went on, a week had past and she was slowly getting better- I thought that maybe she would survive easily but I couldn't be sue. Her health was still up and down her nightmares were still just as vivid and painful. I hummed her lullaby to her when she would go to sleep and it seemed to soften the blow from them but they were still there no matter what I tried. Two days in we got a visit from Carlisle and it was not good. Over the past two day her mother and father had died one after the other. When she got the news she tried to hold the tears in but her mind just kept repeating it.

_I knew it! There gone, there gone...I just got them back!_

I squeezed her hand lightly soothing her. She through her arms around my neck and sobbed quietly as soon as Carlisle closed the door behind him. I held her even after she had shed all her tears. We didn't say a word- I just rocked her back and forth as she stared of into nothingness.

She was reasoning with herself in her mind…_They're in heaven they have to be... It was their time... they'll be together forever now... they'll be happy... They were ready...but I'm not ready not yet, not yet..._

I started humming her lullaby and she went off into a deep sleep. She very tiered and she slept all through the day and night- until the dreams came.

_She was running in the forest- she wore a gold thin strapped top that only covered her chest yet it showed a lot of her cleavage. She also wore a gold skirt that went down to her ankles and it had a cut up each side of it leaving more room to move and a belt that was attached to the skirt. Around each thy, a knife was tied to it and a sword was strapped to her back. Her face was covered with cloth that was tied to a crown like head peace and only her eyes could be seen. Determination burned in her eyes with a passion as she tore through the shrubs of the forest around her. She felt free but not safe- not yet. She saw a road up a head and three figures on the road. By the way they looked they weren't her old masters men. As she drew closer, they were wearing army uniforms- Australian army uniforms- joy ran through her. She unclipped the cloth to show her face while putting her hands up and tried to use her scarcely used language of three years, but her Australian assent was still as strong as ever._

_"I'm Australian- please I need your help! There after me!"_

_She slowed to a walk as she came up to the three men- breathing heavily. A man with pale white skin, dark brown hair and butter scotch eyes- _It was then I realised he was a vampire -they all were-_ came to her "who is after you?"_

_"My master is."_

_"Why don't we go back to camp and you can explain on the way and I'm Major Aaron Smith by the way."_

_She described the very basics of what had happened to her- "three years ago I was walking home from school, when I was kidnapped and then they sold me. I became a slave and then my new master killed my old master and took all his property- which was me as well. One of the guards let me go- because I saved his only daughter- when I was going to be sold, I ran away and that's when I found you."_

_By that time they had gotten to camp and made a fire and a man with blond hair sat next to her._

_"I'm Lieutenant John Jones," he said holding his hand out._

_"Bella," she said shaking his hand._

_"You've been through a lot in the last few years," Lieutenant Jones stated plainly._

_"Why do you think that?"_

_"Your scars- and your expression," He paused then continued, "Does it hurt- I could have a look at it for you?" _

_She looked to him and watches him curiously then slowly nodded. He got the medical kit out of his bag and sat next to her. He examined her scars and bruises. He gently moved his ice cold hand over her- she tensed at his stone cold touch but said nothing. She had broken bones that weren't healed properly before they were re-broken, bruises, scars, burns and of cores the mark on her back. He told her what he had found and shook his, "It's going to take a while to get this all healed- but I'm sure you could do it with the proper tretment. Why don't you get some sleep? Don't worry your safe now." _

That's when her eyes fluted open and that's when I knew that she knew what I was- but for some un know reason it was like she didn't care. She treated me as if I were human. I was confused by this- how could someone not be scared or fear us. Then I remembered who I was talking about. She was someone that would not fear us because she's seen- and had worse done to her by humans that had destroyed her innocents. Humans that in my rebellion days I would have hunted down and kill. I'm a monster of monsters. I quickly pushed that thought to the back of my mind. It was not time for my self-loathing to set in.

I just court her thoughts when I came out of my reverie _...his troubled with something… He looks so sad... _

"What's wrong?" her quivering voice was quiet and shy but caring none the less.

"I was just thinking," I said giving her a small smile.

We did our routine that we liked to do- I would talk about myself and then she would talk about herself. In the beginning it was just basic things like family, books, movies, music etc. then bit by bit our conversations would get more in-depth. I did not force her to say anything but as we talked the more she trusted me. We talked about what we felt and our thoughts- I talked about things that not even my family knew. I told her about how my parents died but I left out the part where I was turned into a vampire and that it was in 1918. She was easy to talk to. I would talk she would listen and when she talked I would listen.

As the days past the burn in my throat got worse with each passing day and Carlisle would come in and check on us when he got to the hospital at the beginning of his night shift to see how I was going. As well as remind me that I can't hold off not feeding forever. My eyes were sure to be almost black by now. When Carlisle came in at the beginning of his shift Bella was sound asleep and would be for probably all night and the rest of the day as well.

I stood and walked to him, "I need to hunt. I can't leave it any longer. Please. Could you keep an eye on her? Just every once and a wile- when you're in this area- Please"

"I'll do that for you- now go hunt," Carlisle said ushering me out door.

I ran at human speed to my car. Revving the engine as it peered to life and speed out of the car park.

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**Thank you for reading! i hope you liked it... tell me what you think of it. Please! Review!**  
**comments or questions... i would love to hear them.**

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	3. Chapter 3: She Changed Me

**summery-**

**The Cullens are in Australia when a new influenza out brake strikes. Carlisle asked Edward to help him with a patient that has been through so much in her life; and will change Edward forever. The trauma of slavery affected Isabella greatly but can Edward be able to help her, not only in her battle with the influenza but also the battle that goes on in her mind?**

**What will happen to the two lonely souls? Will they find happiness? Will they find Love? Or will they force each other apart because of their pasts?**

**And will they finally find their Happy Ending?**

Stephanie Meyer owns all Twilight Saga Charters etc...

* * *

_...I stood and walked to him. "I need to hunt. I can't leave it any longer. Please. Could you keep an eye on her? Just every once and a wile; when you're in this area, Please"_

_"I'll do that for you. Now go hunt." Carlisle said ushering me out door._

Chapter: 3: She Changed Me

I ran at a fast human speed to my car and turned the engine on-as I drove down the main road to go back homes I looked out at the country side passed by the window. I have never really looked at the beauty of the Australian country landscape. Now that I truly looked at it- I was amazed at the wonder. Through there wasn't a lot rain, the fields were green and trees scattered over the everlasting hill side. The sky was a blanket of clouds as the sun threw raise of red, orange and gold across the earth as it slowly begun to set in the far off sky beyond the mountains in the distance. As I got closer to home the sky had succumbed to the darkness of the night and the moon now took its rightful place in the night sky.

I pulled in to the garage and fled into the forest as thunder roared and lighting flashed across the dark sky- rain begun to fall on the dry earth beneath my racing feet. I lifted up my head and breathed in the rain's sent. The air was refreshing and calming- all the tension in my body flowed away with the droplets of water that streamed down my racing limbs. The songs of the birds in the trees drifted in the wind as two called to each other. For some reason my time with Bella had changed me in ways that I have no idea- such love and strength was coming of her in waves- and it made me see everything with a new attitude.

I don't know how she survived- not just in body but also in mind. She was tortured physically and mentally. She had a burden that would have crippled the strongest of men and women yet a child nun the less had survived such a hardship. I had so many questions but I knew that I could not ask for surely the small fragile trust she has put in me would certainly diminish into nothing if I queried into her past far too soon.

The wind blew from the west and carried with it the scent of some kangaroos. I sped towards one the creatures and as I drew near I leapt on the animal's back- breaking its neck swiftly in one quick motion. I bore my teeth into its warm flesh and rejoiced in the calming of the blazing fire in my scorched throat. Once finished I sped towards the other doing the same as the last. When I was finished disposing of the carcasses and had, had my fill with the kangaroos I ran up the mountain to a quiet place that I had found in my travels of the area. It was on a cliff's edge and looked out over the mountains and valley below. It had a little river nearby. It was rocky but there were many wild flowers nestled within the stone all around. It was my place to sit and think or just get away- my refuge from everything. I would sit for hours looking out on the beauty of the land scrape- it was my place of solitude, of peace.

I sat there for hours thinking of Bella- time escaped me when I realized that the sun would be rising soon but I did not move as I watched the sun rise over the mountains- as the bush land came to life. When the sun light touched my face the array of sparkling light reflected form me and was shown on the rocks and plants around me- reminding me of what I am- a monster.

I stood and ran back home to greet my family before I left to go to the hospital once more.

As I reached home and I opened the front door I found myself locked in an in brace with Esme- my mother in all ways that counted. I have known her in most of my vampire existence. She loved use all like her own children.

"I missed you Edward," she said looking up to me.

I smiled down at her, "I missed you too Esme. Can I come in now Mother?" she loved it when I called her that.

She smiled happily and nodded letting me inside.

Everything was as usual in the Cullen house. Emmet and Jasper playing football on the wii, Alice was designing her own clothing range, Rosalie working on one of the cars and Esme doing some gardening. I quickly had a shower and changed my clothes. I had the lullaby in my head when I came down the stairs- I walked over to the grand piano and started to play. I let the melody over take me and I felt like I was some were else but I did not know were yet- soon the song came to an end and silence rang out throughout the room.

I felt Esme's hand upon my shoulder, "that was beautiful. What's it called?"

I looked up into her eyes "It's a lullaby- Bella's lullaby- she the patient that I'm working with. It helps her sleep."

"Are you going back?" she queried uncertainly- wishing that I wouldn't be gone so long.

"Yes. I should be leaving now," I said rising from the piano stool.

"I hope she gets better," she said while giving me a sad smile.

"So do I, So do I." I whispered- more to myself than to anyone else.

She gave me a hug and said good bye and I raced into the garage saying my farewells to everyone on the way- I got in my car and drove back to the hospital.

At first it looked like a normal day for the hospital. I went to the head nurse- Nurse Wilson a middle aged woman with died black hair that was pulled tightly up into a neat bun at the back of her head- while trying to ignore her thoughts when she looked up to see me coming over to her, "I'm Edward- Dr Cullen's son. Is Carlisle in his office or is he doing his rounds?" I asked politely.

"His doing his rounds- the last time I saw him he was around room A20. That was about half an hour ago."

"Thank you Nurse Wilson."

"Any time Edward," she purred, batting her heavily cacked make-upped eye lashes that surrounded her hazel eyes and smiled in a way that was supposed to be sensually but never quite made it- I re-framed from rolling my eyes at her attempt of flirting and I quickly walk away at human speed but wishing I could run. When I had finely found Carlisle coming out of room A41- I headed towards him and he spoke to me in his minds, '_You look better. Did you have a good hunt?' _

"Yes I did. How is Isabella?" I enquired.

I reached out with my mind to find hers as we were walking down the hall to the next room when I saw her mind- she was having a nightmare again but this one was even worse than the others- it was like she and I were there, we could hear, see, feel everything like it was really happening. My hands were clutching my head at the pain of the horrendous dream.

_She was in dark, cold, room chained to a blood stained table. They had injected her something... She could not move, could not speak but she could feel-she could feel everything and she was awake._

_She was laying face down and a man was drawing on her back a design. Then the man put a blade to the drawing, carefully slicing the design on her skin. She was in agony- begging them to stop but nothing came from her lips. For hours she could do nothing to stop the pain but to bear it- tears flowed freely down her cheeks with each slice of the bladed. Once they had completed cutting into her flesh- they put a metal barrier between her open wound and her skin. They put liquid gold in her open flesh- the burning hot gold sealed the abrasion as it made its way along her back making the design on her back stand out in gold. Throughout the entire ordeal she cried out in agony but her lips would not move and her voice was silent in the torture._

I was brought back to reality by an ear piercing and heart wrenching scream of agony. Only a few seconds have passed since I had met up with Carlisle- I saw everything in slow motion. I was running down the hall trying to get to her but Carlisle held me back to not be conspicuous by the inhuman speed but I didn't care. When we got to her room and opened the door she was sitting up looking straight at me. Blood was oozing from her the corner of her eyes, nose, and mouth- she looked in agony. She was showing the last symptoms of the influenza before... I just couldn't think of the word and her in the same sentence. Last month she would have been just another human among many but I got to really know her and she changed me. I heard her speak to me for the first time with her thoughts directly to me as if she knew I could hear her '_Edward- I'm not ready Edward. I'm not ready...'_ Her eyes bored into me as her lips moved and barley even a whisper she said two words, "Stregoni benefici," then her chocolate doe eyes rolled to the back of her head as her body fell back limb as her heart stuttered to a stop and the heart monitor let out a constant beeeeee...

Carlisle and I ran to her side- Carlisle called the nurses and I started CPR not bothering to wait for the nurse. Everything was blurred as I just kept pushing on her chest till the stone hands of my father pushed my hands away to defibrillate her when the nurse went into action. I barely noticed their movements or thoughts- they were all blurred- all could see was her face. Her face had relaxed and she looked so young even more child like with blood like tears rolling down her pale cheeks.

I prayed to anyone if they were listening that she would survive _she has to survive please she just has to... she can't... not yet..._I didn't know if anyone was listening until I heard the sound of a miracle. One small heart beat and then another- it was not strong but it was still there._ Thank-you...thank-you..._

They put a tube down her throat and nose to help her breath. She was very, very weak. No one ever survived the last stages of the influenza.

Carlisle looked to me and quietly spoke to me so no one else heard "I don't think she's going to make it much longer Edward," he gave me a sad sympathetic smile but his eyes were pained. He hated it when people were in pain and he couldn't help. '_It'll only be time- I'm sorry.' _

When the others left and I was alone with her there- I sat next to her bed side and really thought about how I had changed after I met her. As I sat there looking at her peaceful face for hours there was one question that kept coming up- can I live without her?

... No..., no I can't- but I don't know why and I don't know what to do.

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**Edward is slowly finding out more about Bella and what happened to her...  
**

**Poor Edward- what will he do- & poor Bella. Edward better decide what his going to do soon before its too late- for him AND for Bella.  
**

**How does Bella Know about the _Stregoni benefici_? Anyone willing to guess?  
**

**Thank you for reading! **

**Love/like it or hate it please review and let me know!**


	4. Chapter 4:I Cannot Live Without Her

**summery-**

**The Cullens are in Australia when a new influenza out brake strikes. Carlisle asked Edward to help him with a patient that has been through so much in her life; and will change Edward forever. The trauma of slavery affected Isabella greatly but can Edward be able to help her, not only in her battle with the influenza but also the battle that goes on in her mind?**

**What will happen to the two lonely souls? Will they find happiness? Will they find Love? Or will they force each other apart because of their pasts?**

**And will they finally find their Happy Ending?**

Stephanie Meyer owns all Twilight Saga Charters etc...

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_When the others left and I was alone with her there- I sat next to her bed side and really thought about how I had changed after I met her. As I sat there looking at her peaceful face for hours there was one question that kept coming up- can I live without her?_

_... No..., no I can't- but I don't know why and I don't know what to do._

Chapter 4: I cannot live without her

I stayed with her for what felt like an eternity not just a few days. Her condition was not getting any better and she was running out of time- I hadn't moved from my spot next to her since when her heart stopped.

I had been thinking about what she had said just before her heart became silent for those terrifying moments. I hadn't heard those two words 'Stregoni benefici' in a long time- not since I had talked to Carlisle about his past. The Stregoni benefic was a vampire that was against evil and in essence a 'good' vampire- in Carlisle's case also did not drink human blood. The thing is: I wondered how she knew about the Stregoni benefic for it was not something that the youth of today would be really aware of- having thought vampires are characters from old folktales, myths that played evil villains on their TV screens or within the pages of their horror novels. Then I remembered some of her friends are in fact vampires. They could have told her or she could have been suspicious of them and investigated into what they were- she was a smart and observant girl- she very well could have happened to find out what they were.

The days past in a blur- hours turned into days and days into weeks and still she had not awakened. Carlisle would come and check on her and me- he knew about the connection I had unknowingly made with her. I had been thinking about this link I had found with her and I could not understand it- I feel so protective of her and I don't know why- so I decided to talk with Carlisle about it the next time he came in.

Bella was still sleeping dreamlessly as Carlisle came in, "Hello Edward."

"Hello Carlisle," I paused for a moment- trying to build up my courage to ask, "Can I ask you something?"

"Of course you can Edward." He said pulling the other chair over to where I was with a small frown on his smooth, flawless face.

"I've been having these feelings that I don't understand and I don't know what to do about it…It's strange- I just can't live without her even though I have only known her for a short time and I know that she won't survive much longer… I just don't understand what I'm feeling- I feel very protective over her and something else that I have never felt before."

"I think you have fallen in love..." he said bluntly. I cut him off quickly.

"NO!" I growled, "That's impossible I've only know her for a short time and... and she's HUMAN! It is dangerous to fall in love with a human! I could so easily hurt- even kill her if I'm not careful...I..." I was rambling and he could easily see that.

"Edward." I looked up to meet his wise gold eyes and fell silent. I wasn't going to win this battle with him- not today at lest, "You know our minds and bodies work out of time- we can process large amounts of information in just seconds and we can hold huge amounts of information about one person and still find out more and add to that information without losing anything. Edward you only have so much time with her- she won't last long even if she was healthy as any other human- she still won't live very long. She would grow old and eventually die of old age- it would be like a blink of an eye that her life has past by and then she's gone."

I knew where he was leading to and I didn't like it at all- not one bit. "I can't change her, Carlisle. I can't take her soul away- she so good how could I make her go through the pain of this life... no existence. I cannot take her soul away- I cannot make her what I dread."

"Edward you heard her tell you that she is not ready to die. She has some major things to sort out and I think the only person that can help her is you Edward. I've seen you go far too long having no one- being alone. Don't make it eternity that you are alone- please just think about it please. Esme and I have longed to see you find someone and now that you have please don't throw it away."

He got up- checked up on Bella and then left the room. I did as he asked and thought about it. I knew I didn't have very long with her- not long at all. But who was I- a monster- to take her precious soul away from her but also who am I to not let her live longer no matter the consequences. I was confused and I just didn't know what to do. Everything would be so much simpler if I was human and she was healthy. But we can't just live on 'if' because it's never going to happen.

The question was 'if I can't live without her then can I take her soul?' I had lived so long resenting what I was- could I really push aside my resentment –my loathing to this existence. It is true that I have forgive my maker and my father of what he has sentenced me to but can I truly force such an existence on the innocent girl that lay silently in the bed beside me?

It was one of the hardest questions in my life. I think I now know what it was like when Carlisle had to make the decision of whether to change me or not after my mother begged him to save me just before she died- Carlisle did not have long to decide ether.

I sat in silences thinking- the only sounds were Bella's heart monitor and her labored breathing. I looked at her face and that is when I made my conclusion- I was going to be a selfish, self-centered monster and going to do what is so very wrong but for some reason feels so very right. I was going to change her. My decision was made and I can't go back on it…I won't go back on it. I waited for Carlisle to come and check on us in his usual rounds of the hospital and as my father came in the door I looked up to meet his golden gaze and began to speak.

"I have made my decision on whether to change her or not."

"And what would your decision be?" he inquired.

"I have decided to change her," I paused for a moment- taking a deep breath and relishing the burn with in my throat that meant Bella lived- then continued, "myself- it is my choice and my burden to bear," I said softly.

"I will go and set up transferring her to be under our care at home then when you're ready- we shall take her in an ambulance to the house. I will ring and notify Esme and the others, but Alice will have more than likely all ready seen- I'm sure," he said with a small smile at the last part and with that he left silently.

I began preparing Bella to be able to be moved- I packed her bags with all her personal items. I grabbed the photo of her and her parents—she was younger in the photo and looked to be taken of when she was about ten years old. She was smiling like she didn't have a care in the world- that there were no troubles in her life. I quickly put the picture into her bag and continued backing her belongings away and once I had finished and Bella was ready to go Carlisle came in and said, "Everything is ready- we can take her out to the ambulance now."

We got to work swiftly to move her to the ambulance bay. When we got into the bay someone was waiting for us and principally jumping up and down with excitement. I rolled me eyes and shook my head at Alice's thoughts _'I wanted to meet the new member of our family and the object of you fascination'_ she thought with a smirk. Alice was dressed like an ambo as she leaped into the ambulance that would make even the best of ballerinas jealous and started up the engine to take Bella to our home.

We put Bella in the ambulance then I hoped in after her. I looked back to Carlisle when I heard his voice, "I will be home as some as I can after my shift is up. Get her all set up and comfortable."

"Of course Carlisle," I said with a nod.

With that we drove out of the ambulance bay and sped off towards home. The whole way there I kept an eye on her and how she was handling the journey- in the front Alice was humming away to a song on the radio while thinking of all the things that she will do with Bella when she is changed; _'...we can go shopping, do makeovers...'_ and the list went on. I was beginning to feel sorry for my Bella because of what the little hyper pixie is going to do to her. I would have thought that she's been through enough to now be attacked by 'Alice the hyperactive pixie'. Maybe I could help Bella out...

"Don't you even think about it! Or I'll..." Alice exclaimed

"Or you'll what?" I interrupted with a playful snarl.

"I'll...I'll make you do 'boy barby' instead of Em or Jazz for three weeks!" she proclaimed.

"Oh no I am so scared! Oh! Please Alice not the 'boy barby'! PLEASE HAVE MERCY!" Okay so I was playing with her a bit but that's what brothers are there for! I was trying to hold back my amusement as much as possible to look serious but it didn't work very well.

Alice glared at me through the rear view vision mirror and stuck out her tong at me and all I could do was laugh.

When we reached home I had calmed down from my laughing fit and was ready to do what was needed to be done as we took her into the house.

Esme had so kindly set up the spear room for Bella- so she could be taken strait in with no hesitation. When we got out of the ambulance and into her room we got her all set up with her antibiotics then I went to my room and changed my clothes. All we now had to do is wait for Carlisle. As I headed back to Bella's room Alice had just come out with a dish of water, cloth and towel in her hand, "I just washed her down and changed her clothes- She's all nice and clean now," I nodded my head- remembering the times that the nurses would usher me out so they could wash her. I slipped in to her room again and sat in one of the chairs around the room.

For awhile it was only her and I in the room but Emmet's and Jasper's curiosity got the better of them and came in to investigate who this new member of the family was. Jasper's first thought went to the girl's scars that marred her skin. There could have been as many scars on her as there were on Jasper's pale white flesh. Emmet's thoughts went to how small she looked-I looked up to them as they entered.

Emmet spoke first his booming voice filled the room, "So this is our new sis. Ay?"

"Yes Emmet she is. But it is her choice if she wants to stay." I said calmly- hoping and praying that she would stay.

"Edward shouldn't you be hunting right now if you're going to be changing her?" Jasper stated looking into my coal black eyes. The burn in my throat had increased dramatically since my last hunt and was hard to ignore.

I hesitated before I rose just as Alice bounded in through the door. "Don't worry I'll stay with her," she said almost jumping up and down.

I looked back at Bella's sleeping form then back at the others. "I'll be back in fifteen minutes," I said then I sprinted out the door.

Running into the bush land- I ran I picked up a scent foreign to the Australian fauna. The scent belonged to a panther. It must have been one that had escaped from a zoo. I rushed forward leaping on the animal's back taking it off guard as it staggered to the ground. I snapped its neck instantly and I sunk my teeth is to its warm dark fur as the panther's blood filled my mouth and streamed down my throat like a river. The burn in my throat was clamed by the predator's blood. Once I was finished I ran back to the house- I looked down and smiled when I saw no blood had tainted any of the clothes that I wore. I opened the front door of my home and entered. I headed upstairs- Carlisle hadn't arrived home as of yet and I was getting nervous. What if I couldn't stop and I killed her! I was nervous and getting worried. I heard Esme's voice next to me and felt her hand on my shoulder, "Edward what is wrong?"

I hadn't realized that I had stopped on my ascension of the stairs and had grabbed hold of the banister- the polished wood had started to split under the presser of my hand- I released it and looked to Esme. "I don't think I can do it. What if I can't stop? What if I kill her?" I panicked.

"You will do just fine," she said bringing me into a hug, "You know that she will die if you don't change her- she can have a chance to live if you do. Don't worry Edward we will all be there for you." With that she released me from her contorting arms and took my hand- pulling me to Bella's room.

I looked out the window as the sun was rising- symbolizing the dawn of a new day. It had been some time since I last saw the sun rise and even longer it had been for Bella. The sun's rays glistened on her sweat moisten skin and the room was filled with a raise of color from my hard diamond like skin in the sun.

Soon Carlisle came up the drive way and entered the house. Once he had said hello to the family he made his way up the stairs to Bella's room with Esme on his arm. They came in and walked over to me.

"Are you ready Edward?" asked Carlisle calmly.

"I hope so," I said- my voice quivering from my nervousness.

"Don't worry- we will all be here for you." Esme soothed once more.

"Alice, Jasper, Emmet and Rose," Carlisle spoke normally and the others field into the room before he even finished- they all knew what was happening now.

I swallowed hard and I felt a wave of calm spread over me- I looked over to Jasper and nodded my head in a sign of thanks as he nodded back. All was silent except the thoughts that lingered in the minds of my family. I breathed in her sent and lent in towards her neck. Slowly I kissed her fevered flesh before biting down on the skin of her neck as her sweet blood oozed in to my mouth. All my scenes went wild- all I could think about was her blood. At that moment I could not care who she was and that I was suppose to stop. In my mind the beast growled at me- begging to be free and feast on the warm thick nectar that flowed effortlessly into my greedy mouth. I wasn't sure if I could make myself stop.

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**Chapter End Notes:**

**will Edward be able to stop or wont he?**

** i would like to say a special thank you to Lily Marie Wolfe for being my new beta for this story**

**Love/like it or hate it please review and let me know!**


	5. Chapter 5:A new life

_...I swallowed hard. I felt a wave of calm spread over me and I looked over to Jasper and nodded my head in a sign of thanks and he nodded back. All was silent except the thoughts that lingered in the minds of my family. I breathed in her sent and lent in towards her neck. Slowly biting down on the flesh of her neck as her sweat blood oozed in to my mouth all my scenes went wild all I could think about was her blood. At that moment I could not care who she was and that I was suppose to stop but in my mind the beast did not want me to stop and I was not sue I could stop._

Chapter 5: A new life

I felt hands pull me back and two strong arms came around my torso holding me back. A growl came from my chest. The beast wanted more. I tried uselessly to worm my way out of the arms that trapped me. I snapped at any one who tried to come my way. I felt calm set over me and I growled at Jasper, trying to push back the wave of calm but it quickly got a hold of me. That was when I saw my reflection the mirror on the opposite wall. I became very still. My beast stared back at me with red eyes blazing. Reason came gushing back to me and I realised "I almost killed her!" it came out more like a shriek. My mouth was so dry and in flames.

"It's OK. You did good Edward." Carlisle soothed.

"But I almost killed her." I whispered looking into Carlisle's eyes then bowed my head in shame.

"But you didn't and that's what matters." I looked over to where Bella was. Her jaw shut tight and she had a little frown but she was completely still. Not a sound came from her. By now Emmett had released me from his stone arms.

"Carlisle why is she so still?"

But before he could answer, her thoughts were clear as day was to night. I fell to the ground in agony clutching my head whimpering in pain. It had been a while since I had heard her thoughts awake. Her mind showed me why she was so still. She was always still when she was in too much pain bear, her body would shut off all movement. That was how she dealt with it so no one knew how she was hurting but I knew very well how much pain she was in. The flames licked their way along her veins spreading the venom that I put into her body. The inferno became hotter and hotter by the minute she was losing track of time soon she could not hear and her eyes had still not opened. All her senses were being over taken be the fire that was racing through her body repairing and healing the damage that the influenza and human wickedness had done to her. I became accustomed to her pain filled thoughts that were ever present in my mind.

Carlisle tried to take me out of the room to be way from her thoughts but I stood my ground and I was not going any were.

"I created that pain and I am going to stay by her Carlisle."

He looked into my now blood red eyes and nodded his head, surrendering. I stayed by her side through the pain of the transformation holding her unmoving hand and experiencing the pain through her thoughts. It was coming up to the third day and she could now hear with her new ears. She knew that I was there with her and she counted my breaths as I exhaled and inhaled. I moved in to her ear. "Don't worry the pain will be over soon Bella." I said consoling her. _'__Thank you Edward__'_ she thought to me. I still did not know how she knew I could read her mind but that was a question for later. Her heart was starting to speed up and the fire was retreating back slowly, the transformation was coming to an end.

The fire began to recede from her fingers and toes slowly coming up her arms and legs. It was all heading to her heart and ever so slowly her heart began to beat faster and faster as the fire moved away from her arms and legs into her torso. Her heart was beating so fast it was more like just a constant hum getting faster and faster suddenly she shot open her eyes and I was stunned at what I had seen. Fire; flames licked around the insides of her irises. It looked like I was staring into the flames of a raging fire. As soon as her heart gave its last beat the fire in her eye smoldered into hot coals then soon went back to her human eye colour of a rich deep chocolate brown.

When it was all over was when I realised that we were not alone; standing behind me at the wall was the rest on the family who were just as shocked as I was. Bella looked around taking in all the strange and wonderful sights. She was astonished with all the dentals that she could clearly see, astounded with the sounds and only a small part of her mind paid any attention to the burn in her throat. "Wow," her voice was like wind chimes as she too was amazed at its flawlessness, its beauty. She caught sight of the others and me and she immediately tensed and rising into a defensive crouch. Jasper and Emmet moved so that they were in front of the others ready if she got hostile. I was still seated waiting patiently for her to calm down and realise that we were not going to hurt her. She looked to me and then over to Carlisle and she slowly relaxed. Her head slowly went to one side in question. "Dr. Cullen, Edward? Where am I?" she eased into a sitting position wither legs crossed. From behind Jasper, Alice flew past and wrapped Bella in a hug. Bella tensed and looked to me question in her eyes '_um, who__'__s this?__'_ I smiled at her "this is Alice my little pixie sister I told you about and we are at my home," I saw the wheels turning in her head as she remember our conversations when she was back in hospitable though they were dull and fuzzy she remembered and a smile spread across her face and she gently hugged her back. Alice winced slightly but nothing more. They pulled away from each other and Alice pulled Bella up on her feet.

"Stay right there Bella and don't move. I'm going to show you something." Alice said jumping up and down excitedly. She was out of the room and back in the room with a full length mirror in seconds placing the mirror in front of Bella. Bella's eyes widened and her mouth fell open in complete awe. She touched her face moving her hand over just above her left eye brow were a scar used to be married to her skin but now it was completely smooth no one would have know that there used to be a scar there in the first place. She looked down at her body then back at the figure in the mirror. _'__I__'__m a vampire. It feels so strange__'_

I decided to ask one of the two questions I have been longing to ask for a while now "how do you know what we are?"

"Some of my friends are vampires and I had been told a lot of stories about vampires when I was a slave. The old women would tell stories when they got a chance. Some of them were quite interesting."

"Is that were you learned about the Stregoni benefici?"

"Yes it was."

"I'm sure you can tell us of that story later but I am sure the your throat must hurting"

That's when she realised her thirst. She swallowed trying to dull the burn but it was not successful. "I guess you are right Dr. Cullen."

"Please call me Carlisle. I'm sure you are also wondering who these are?" Bella smiled politely and nodded. She sort of knew who they were but did not want to get them wrong so Carlisle continued, "this is my wife Esme, my daughter Rosalie and you've already met my daughter Alice, and my sons Emmet and Jasper." He said, pointing to each one.

"It is very nice to meet you all and thank you for saving my life."

"Edward it the one who did the saving, child," Esme came over and gave her a hug. "Let's take you hunting shall we dear."

"Follow me." I said as I ran out of the house with Bella and my family behind me. I stopped when I got far enough into the bush land. I smelled the area and picked up the scent of a kangaroo. She stopped next to me and looked to me for instructions. "Close your eyes," and she did shutting eyes and listening to what I was going to say next, "what do you hear?"

"Ever thing, the wind, water, wings of the birds, heart beats."

"What do you smell?" she took a large breath smelling the scents around us, the wind blow from the south which was the direction of the kangaroos.

"A large animal, a kangaroo?"

"Yes. Let your senses take over they know what to do."

In less than a second she was of speeding through the bush. We followed a few seconds behind her to not get in the way.

Some meters away from her pray she went in to a crouch and leaped through the area she was so fluent landing on the back of the first kangaroo breaking it neck before it even had time to blink and then leaping on to the next one breaking that ones neck as well. Her movements were like a dance fluent and graceful. She knelt by the first kangaroo and bit into its neck and swallowing the blood of her pray and then she moved to her next but just before she moved on to her next she whispered into the animal's ear "thank you" and she did that with the other as well. She stood up and walked to wards us. Her cloths did not have a speck of blood on them. It usually takes a few years to get to that. Alice was pleased to see that the clothes that she had picked out for her were still in perfect condition. I headed towards Bella and for some reason I felt like I was hearing double. I looked over to where Bella was and she had her hands coving her ears and a pained expression on her face. I ran over to her.

"What's wrong?"

"It's so loud! Make it stop." She begged. That was when I realised she was reading every ones thoughts. Then her face went completely blank just as Alice had come over to see what was wrong. Bella was having a vision I watched it with her. _There were three men they were all vampires and they had come to our house. They were smiling and happy and Bella came from the house and hugged them all. _Then the vision ended she looked to me. "What was that?"

"You were having a vision of the future." By that time the rest of the family had come towards us and I could see in Bella's mind that Jasper's gift was now working through her because she could feel every ones emotions. She was getting anxious and in that making the rest of us anxious too. "It's all right Bella, just calm down. How about we go back to the house and talk." Slowly she nodded and we sped away towards the house. We went inside and headed to the family room. We were spread out on different couches and I was next to Bella who was still tens with all the voices in her head that she did not understand. The thoughts that were going through my family were full of confusion they were unsure of what had just happened.

Carlisle spoke first, "What happened out there?"

I answered Carlisle question as best I could, "I think Bella got her gift. When I came close to her she got my gift of reading minds and when Alice came over Bella had a vision and then Jasper and she could feel and control all our emotions. So I thing that any one that has a gift comes in proximity to her she gets their gifts."

"But why didn't she have her gift when she woke up?" Emmet inquired

"All gifts are different maybe hers she needed blood to set it off."

"That is a very interesting point that you make Edward and an amazing gift you have Bella," said Carlisle. "But Bella, do you have any questions about our way of life? I know that you all ready know a bit about vampires because of your friends but if you have any questions feel free to ask."

"I guess it's just all so new. All the sensations, it takes a lot to get use to. But I do have one question...um how did you guys get on this diet?"

Carlisle told her his story, "when I was human it was about the 16th century London, my father was a preacher and he would go out and hunt vampires, witches and anything else he classified as demands. But, he was getting older in his age and so he past this job on to me. I was reluctant. I tried to find real vampires not some innocent person that my father thought as a demand. And one day I got my wish I was out on the street and we found them. We did not stand a chance against them. They were weak with thirst but they were still stronger and faster. One of them bit me but was scared off by the others in the group that was trying to hunt them. I knew what would happen if my father found me. He would be disgraced so I hid in some rotten potatoes in a sealer and stayed quiet for three days until the burning subsided. Then I ran as far away from human life as I could. I tried to kill myself but nothing worked; I was immortal. I was up in the in the mountains a herd of deer came by my cave and I attacked them because of the thirst being so strong. That's how I became a vampire that drinks the blood of animals or the name we give ourselves 'vegetarian vampires'. In the following years I learned to control my thirst and I started learning medicine, I traveled all around Europe to study. Then I went to America and practised there. And in 1918 I changed Edward, he was the first that I changed then it was Esme then Rosalie then Emmet. Then soon after that Jasper and Alice came to us." I could see it all unfolding in Carlisle's mind and I noticed that Bella was also focused on Carlisle's thoughts as well as she saw through his memories eyes of all the things that he had been through. She had learnt quite quickly how to control the gifts that she was given. She had relaxed since when she got my gift. I was quite pleased and amazed with how she had become a part of this life. That's when I remembered her vision.

"Bella you that vision that you had when you got Alice's gift?" she nodded her head, "do you know who the men were that came to the house?"

"They were the soldiers that founded me and took me home. The ones I told you about: Major Aaron Smith, Captain Alex Walker and Lieutenant John Jones they are my friends that are the vampires that I know."

"Because that means that we are going to have a visit from your friends soon. And you get to see them again."

"So three army soldiers are coming here? Are they a threat?" Jaspers mind went into military mode but Bella quickly interrupted.

"They are not a threat if you don't want them to be."

"Can you tell us about them?" I asked

"Well Aaron is the leader. He changed both Alex and John. They all have pretty cool gifts. Aaron can control earth and nature; like plants and stuff. He can shape it in to anything he wants. Like one time with just using his mind he made a replica of me out of stone and could control it. It moved talked anything Aaron wanted it to. Alex can control the weather, like make a blistering hot day snow or rain. And John is a physical and mental shield so he can stop physical things and any mental gifts."

"How did they manage to get into the army?" Jasper asked

"They got into the army around the First World War and they were able to do it because someone up the higher ranks was able to pull a few strings and they were all able to skip all of their medical tests. And they have been in the army ever since."

The family talked for a bit then we all went and did what we usually did but I decided to show Bella around the house. We walked around the first floor and then the second and third. "This is a big house and it really beautiful."

"Yes I guess it is. Esme designed it." As we enter my room she looked around, "this is my room." She looked around at the soft plush cream carpeted floor and the light gold walls with gold trim, and the full wall window that looked out on our meadow then looked to the one wall that had a CD/book case along the hole of the wall and on another wall was a flat screen plasma that was mounted onto the wall and underneath was my desk with my laptop among other thing on it. She walked over to the book shelf brushing her fingers along the edges, "You have a lot of books."

"You can read one if you like."

She picked one of the books and looked to me, "could you read it to me like when you did in the hospital?" _'__I like how you read it__'_ I walked over to the black leather lounge and beckoned her to sit with me. I took the book from her looking at the cover to see that it was my copy of Wuthering Heights. She was snuggled up on the couch listening as I read to her letting the words on the pages in front of me flow from my mouth. We just sat there like that with me reading to her as the sun slowly set over the mountains making way for twilight to come.

**Chapter End Notes:**

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	6. Chapter 6:My story

_...She picked one of the books and looked to me, "could you read it to me like when you did in the hospital?" 'I like how you read it' I walked over to the black leather lounge and beckoned her to sit with me. I took the book from her looking at the cover to see that it was my copy of Wuthering Heights. She was snuggled up on the couch listening as I read to her letting the words on the pages in front of me flow from my mouth. We just sat there like that with me reading to her as the sun slowly set over the mountains making way for twilight to come..._

Chapter 6: My story

Over the past couple of weeks Bella had been improving with her gifts and how to handle the new life that she was given. The second time that she went hunting was only a day or so after her first. Jasper, Emmet, and I took her hunting for crocodiles. She was still a bit tense around Emmet and Jasper so we decided to ease a bit of the tension with some fun. We were beside a river and Emmet was telling Bella his "rules" for her.

"Now since you did not wreck any of your clothes when you first hunted there are two rules. Rule number one you must get all muddy completely no matter what Alice may say and rule number two is a must, this is a big must," he pursed to emphasize how important rule number two is while Jasper and I just rolled our eyes at him. Bella was staring at him like he was a lunatic. Then he continued, "must have FUN!" he said with a big cheesy smile that made us all laugh at him.

We all picked our croc and got ready to spring and then leaped simultaneously. We were rolling around in the mud the thing that Emmet loves to do other then picking a fight with a bear. We were laughing and having fun when there was a gust of wind from the east and the scent of a human was carried along with it. We did not have time to blink before Bella was up and running. We all followed pushing ourselves as fast as we could to catch up to her when suddenly she stopped dead in her tracks the thoughts that were going through her mind confused me somewhat. _'__I can__'__t do it. I__'__ve all ready taken too many lives as it is.__'_There were faces going through her mind. So many faces but no names to go with them I should ask her about it later. She was tense, her eyes were closed and she had stopped breathing.

"Bella are you all right?" I sniffed the air there was no trace of the sent as the wind had changed direction. "You can breathe now Bella it's gone now." Slowly she opened her eyes and took a breath and a sigh of relief came from her lips.

Emmet and Jasper shocked, muddy faces stared confused at her and they asked at the same time. "How did you do that?"

"I could not kill them. What if I knew them? They have lives, a family. Who am I to take that away from them?" She was trying to hide her thoughts from me but to make sure that I was not suspect anything, and thinking about how Alice is going to be when she sees the state of our clothes but I could tell that there was an underlining sadness there.

We kept on hunting for the next couple of hours and started to head home when Jasper bet that he could beat her in a wrestling match easily and of course Emmet decided to bet ten thousand dollars on Jasper and begged me to bet for Bella. He wanted to somehow win a bet against me. I told him no but then the nagging and the whining started and so I said fine just to shut him up but for some reason I had a feeling that Bella just might win.

When we got back to the house we did not bother changing we did have a little dip on our way home so we were fine. Emmet and I got comfy on some boulders ready to watch the match. Bella was talking to Jasper, "I promised to try and not use any of the gifts that I have."

"And don't worry Bella, I'll go easy on you." Jasper said in his southern American accent and smiled politely. Bella smirked at him '_you do that jazz and be ready to lose.__'_I laughed at that.

They circled each other and then Jasper attacked. Leaping towards her and she defended all his blows and then she went for the attack. She moved like a dancer in and out she saw all of Jasper's holes in his defense, she calculated each punch as to not hurt Jasper too much. Jasper never found any of the holes in her attack or her defense except when she let him. She fought with such grace and power it was like she and Jasper were dancing— a very deadly dance. They threw punches and hits, leaps and bounds as they performed the art of war. Jasper staggered by some of Bella's hits but soon found his balance and went back in to the attack once again. This went on for a few hours Bella was getting a tad bored. She learnt all of Jasper's skills which she used back against him but she also learned all of Jasper's holes and blind spots in his defense. Bella moved back away from Jasper with an evil glint in her eyes and then she ran right up next to Jasper and before he had time to defend her attack she leapt in to the air and gave him a king hit right in the head, all the while calculating how hard to hit so not to take his head off. Jasper fell to the ground on his knees and Bella came around the back of him and whispered into his ear.

"Got ya Jazz, I win." Then Jasper fell to the ground and huffed.

"Want a hand up Jasper?" Bella asked, extending her hand.

Jasper grunted and took her hand, "you got one good hit there Bella. OW my head hurts." He said whimpering and rubbed his head.

I looked to Emmet who had his mouth hanging open in surprise. "So... Emmet, how about that ten thousand that **you** owe **me**?" I said smiling at him.

He grumbled something about never winning anything and then got up and handed me a roll of bills and walked over to where Bella and Jasper were.

"How did you do that?" Emmet wondered, looking at Bella, then turned to Jasper, "and I thought you could take a new born?" Jasper just shrugged still rubbing his head.

"It's a long story." The sadness was back in her thoughts again but she tried to hide it. The others did not push it and went into the house. _'__I know you want to ask me. You__'__ve been thinking about it all day.__'_

I looked to meet her eyes. _'__Would you talk to me about it?__'_I thought to her.

She thought for a moment and then nodded her head. "How about we go some were? I have a little spot up in the mountains. We can go there?"

"Ok," We took off running. I led the way to my spot that I come to think. When we got there I went over to a bolder and sat against it padding the spot next to me and she came. "You're probably going to hate me after I tell you my story... my whole story," I was about to say something but she held up her hand and then she continued. "When I was a slave I was taught how to fight. I had to learn fast and each trainer I guess you could call it would teach me. At first I could not even walk on a flat surface without falling but I had to learn and I did. As the time went on I became unbeatable. All of my opponents I would learn their skills and use their own skills on themselves and all the others that I had collected over the time. As I did with Jasper but his is the only I have ever... let live... They were dead when I had…had enough or got bored with them. I'm a murderer... a monster! I killed for sport, for the enjoyment of my master. I did everything I was told to do. At first I didn't but then people got hurt because of me. But either way people still would have died. My first master it was just his games but my second…I was his very own little assassin. If the master says kill, you kill no argument." She was curled up in a ball weeping.

I felt so helpless. I went to wrap my arm around her to comfort her but she bolted up right and moved to the other side of the little clearing. "Don't touch me! I'm a monster! I don't deserve you or your family! I don't deserve anything! I should have died a long time ago— back when I was that clumsy little slave girl who was scared out of her mind! I should have died with the rest of them but oh no not my luck! I had to be the one that survived! Me! Why me?" Slowly she sank to the ground curling up into a tight ball once again.

"The lucky ones died in the beginning," she whispered softly. "...died in the beginning," she repeated.

Slow and careful I came over to her and wrapped her in my arms and held her to my chest. "You're not a monster, Bella. You did not have a choice."

She looked up at me. Pain. There was so much pain and grief in her eyes as she whispered, "No your wrong. I did have a choice. And I chose wrong."

We sat there like that for what felt like decades. We just looked out over the scenery. I knew that that was not even half of her story and that there were many hurtful and painful things to come but that was for another time. She was not ready yet to shear all of her story but I know she will. She just needed time. We did not say a word just sat. I forgot that she could read my mind but I did not care if she listened. I thought about what she said about choices. In a way, we all did have a choice but some time we don't. Like she did not have a choice to be a slave as I did not have a choice to be a vampire. But she did have a choice whether to kill or not but even if she choice the alternative there still would have been a fatal consequence, and like me I too had a choice as I now to believe to be wrong. No matter the types of people that I had killed I was still killing them. Just because I did not kill an innocent does not make it right.

I had learned that a long time ago. I can still hear the minds of the vicious and sadistic killers I had killed while playing judge, jury and executioner with their lives. I never once thought that they could change. Not once. After a while it got too much for me and I could not take the killing any more. It was taking too much out of me. So I went back to Carlisle. I begged for forgiveness and he gave it freely with no hesitation as I came back to him with blood red eyes that show my shame. I never deserved for him to treat me like his son and yet he opened his arms to me with no indecision; not in his mind nor in the words he spoke or in his actions. Carlisle was all ways so companionate and understanding, he never tried to push us. We could do what we wish but in that we had to suffer the consequences of our decisions that we chose. I still remember each and every face, every name, every thought, ever life I extinguished for what? To make the world a better place? Even if I tried I could never take all the evil, all the sin in this world because I can't do it. It would be impossible for me when I too am a monster; a monster of monsters, a killer of killers. No matter what I do in the future I will all was be a monster, a soulless monster that must feed the thirst of his beast that always attempts to get out of the cage that I have him imprisoned in.

I came out of my reverie by Bella's voice "Edward I think we should be getting back soon." That's when I realised that we had stayed out here all night and the sun was beginning to rise.

"Let's just watch the sun rise then we'll go back."

"Ok, Edward."

We sat in silence once again as we watched the sun rise over the mountain landscape. As the sun hit the suffuse of our skin and reflected of like thousands of tinny demands imbedded in our skin I was court at the sight of Bella as she was to me. We stared at each other and she ran her left hand down my face amazed at the way mine and hers sparkled. She looked into my eyes "how can you be a monster if you look and are so perfect?"

"Appearances can be deceiving and I could say the same to you as well."

"I guess we should be getting back now right?

"I guess we should."

We ran in the direction of the house. The bush land was once again a live again with birds singing in the high up trees and I remembered something. "Can we take a slight detour?"

"Why?"

"Because I want to show you something you might like"

"Why are you hiding you thoughts from me?" Bella asked as I continued to translate my medical textbook in to Greek.

"Because it is a surprise."

"I don't like surprises."

"Oh I think you will like this one."

We ran south for awhile until we reached the Blue Mountains and then I picked up the sent that I wonted and followed it as Bella confused as to what I doing and was just following behind me. There was a little clearing up ahead with a creek alongside it. There drinking eagerly was a herd of wild brumbies. The beautiful creatures ranged of many colours whites, blacks, browns, greys and others. I had remembered Bella telling me when we were talking in my room that other day that she had always wanted to see wild brumbies. He farther had told her different stories about the brumbies but she had never seen one and I decided to show her some. She was smiling from ear to ear. She lunged at me, pulling me into a hug "thank you thank you!" she whispered excitedly.

We had been there for a while just watching them when she turned to me "do you... um... feed on them?" she wondered nervously

"I personally don't. I'm not sure about the others but I think of the horse as a noble creature and should be treated as one. Anyway even though the brumby is not a native Australian animal it is still endangered because some of the humans hunt them." I said truthfully.

"Thank you Edward?"

"For what?"

"For taking me here."

"It was my pleasure Bella?" I said smiling at her, "do you want to stay or go back?"

"Um... I guess we should go back." She said reluctantly.

"I could take you back to see them again soon if you wanted to?"

"Thank you Edward. That would be wonderful." She said smiling up at me.

So then we made our way back home, speeding alone the forest floor with the wind rushing through our hair and through our fingers. We laughed and talked about everything and anything as we ran. Freedom was flowing all around us. We were happy in that moment the conversation from last night forgotten for the moment. Nothing could make me happier in this moment.

**Chapter End Notes:**

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	7. Chapter 7: Old Memories

Chapter: 7: Old Memories

Over time Bella and I had gone back to the Blue Mountains were the brumbies were. She enjoyed being there watching them. Soon they were at ease with us being there and some came to greet us. Bella would pet them slowly, careful not to make sudden movements. I was not quite sure why the animals were so at ease with us but I liked it. It was getting late so we made our way home. Bella had not told me any more information about that section of her painful past but I was not going to push it.

Once we got home Emmett got Bella to play with him on his X-Box 'Need for Speed' they were playing malty player and Bella was winning. It went into a conversation about cars and everything to do with them and Emmett asked, "...so we better get you a car soon so you can drive and all. Don't you think Edie?"

"Don't call me Edie!..." I was about to say something else but Bella interrupted me.

"That could be a problem seeing as I don't rightly have a license and don't know how to drive."

Emmett looked at her shocked "WHAT DO YOU MEAN THAT YOU DON'T KNOW HOW TO DRIVE?"

"Emmett quite down would you. You know Esme does not like you yelling in the house," I scolded, but he just rolled his eyes at me and the spoke softer in his 'inside voice' as Esme liked to call it.

"You don't know how to drive?"

"Well I had other things on my mind at the time, Emmett."

"Well we're going to change that you're going to get your license."

"I haven't even studied yet."

"Well chop, chop on the computer and on to the RTA site and do the practise test, come on." Emmett sped away then came back with a laptop and handed it to her. "There you go. Now start studying so I can teach you how to drive. This is going to be so much fun!"

I rolled my eyes at Emmett's enthusiasm. Bella shook her head thinking _'I am sure his crazy in a two year old kind of way__'._

Bella ran up to her room and turn on her stereo system and lay across her bed with the laptop, doing as Emmett said to do and studied.

About an hour had past and I went up to see what she was doing even though I could easily see it in her thoughts I still went up to see her.

As I entered her room she looked up to me and smiled, "hi Edward," she mover over and patted next to her, telling me to sit.

I walked over to her and sat down. "How are you going?"

"I'm going all right. Some of them are just completely stupid like the one that asks 'If you see a horse and rider on the road what should you do?'

a) Slow down and give them plenty of room.

b) Sound your horn to warn the rider.

c) Speed up to pass the horse.

"Do they think we're all a bunch of idiots? Who in their right mind would use their horn? It would scar the poor horse! Mate! Seriously! "

I laughed shaking my head. "They have to cover all the basses and some of them would be considered silly and bizarre as well." I said between my laughter.

"How about you have a break for a bit. Hey?"

"Yeah that sounds like a good idea." She shut down the laptop and looked to me. "Edward, when can I go back home to get some of my stuff?"

"How about tomorrow? Since your pretty good at controlling your thirst as it seems. I'll take you tomorrow. We can use Emmet's jeep. Alice says it's going to be cloudy tomorrow too."

"That would be great."

She laid on her bed and I laid down on her couch and we just read. Hours past and soon the sun started to raised over the mountain range. We got up and I went to my room to change as she changed in hers

Once we were both in comfortable clothes and ready we went down stairs and headed to the garage and got in Emmet's jeep. She directed me to were her house was which was on the outer regions of Dungog. As we pulled up to a small average country house Bella's thoughts were sad and sorrowful.

I patted her hand reassuringly telling her that everything was ok.

I pulled up the drive way and we entered the house. The house was average looking but it had character. The interior was bits and pieces of mismatched little trinkets that scattered the walls and somehow worked together.

Bella walked up to the book case in the small lounge room and brushed her fingers across the dusty books. _'I remember when I was little my mum and dad would read to me ever night from these books. It was a happier time back then__'_.

We slowly started to move to her parents' room. We got to the door way; the door was closed and Bella slowly with a shaky hand opened the door. In the middle of the room was a double bed with night stands on either side of the bed. She went to the left side of the bed to the night stand and slowly opened the drawer. Her hands found a dusty old, leather bound book. She dusted of the thin layer of dust and held the book in her hand as she sat down on the bed. I walked over to her sitting next to her.

I found that there in her hands was an old bible. Its old musky smelling pages were worn thin with age. Her hands slowly opened the old pages.

"This was my great, great grandfather's bible. He was given it when he turned eighteen and it was handed down generation to generation... It holds a lot of memories of our family."

Written in the old script read four names of her great grandfather's and father's names.

We went through the house as she picked a few items that she wanted to take with her and we clean and tided the house up making the house look completely clean and tidy. But there was one room that we did not enter and I could tell that she was hiding something from me but I said nothing.

It was getting to the end of the day and we had gone through the whole house except that one room and I realised that it was hers. There was something on the edge of her mind and it was like it was... fear?

We both knew that she had to go in there at one point and now seemed like that time, like before with her parents room she hesitated but it was longer and she still kept her thoughts guarded.

Slowly she opened the door. It was like any other bed room; there was a bed pushed against a wall to make room, at the base of the bed sat a chest like wooden box. Its furnishings were simple but still nice. She slowly walked over to it, almost cautiously. She brushed her hands over it and then she realised that I was watching her. Hesitantly she beckoned me to come closer with her hand.

I stood next to her and she timidly opened the lid of the box. There all neatly folded and placed in the box was the attire that she had worn while she had been a slave. The garb was indeed beautiful the light golden fabric, beautifully done golden embroidery of swirls and patens that danced across the beautiful fabric. The two pieces of the clothing fitted together perfectly.

Laying on top of the pieces of clothing was a sword and two knifes both went perfectly with the other pieces and one other object also laid on top was a crown like head piece which had a vale cloth that would cover all the face except the eyes and at the back of the headpiece was like a long vale of the same material of the other fabrics that would trail down her back, gold trimmed the edges of both the vales that would hide her face.

The last item that lay on top was a jewelry box about 10 by 10cm in length. Bella picked up the box and then sat on the bed. Opening it with care she looked inside and there inside the box were a great amount of gold jewelry, many bracelets, arm bands and a very extravagant golden necklace. Every piece of the outfit was gold and created to perfection.

She looked to me.

"This was the reminder of what I was... These objects have so many memories, all of them very painful. I never liked to look at them because of that but... I did so that I could remember all of those that are not so lucky... those that won't taste freedom ever again... I will never forget them, not in a thousand years will I forget..." She trailed of in thought I sat there listening to her thoughts. We sat there all night frozen like statues not specking or moving just thinking.

Strange how time can mean nothing to those that are not in time; thoughts racing though our minds at the same time as we thought as one, two bodies, two minds, one thought. The hours past and still we had not moved, there was no need to do anything but to just simply sit.

Finally she broke that silence and I knew that she was going to tell me more about her life. In the quite of the little bedroom she started to talk.

"There was a group of us... we were tort how to fight... I was never really good a first but one time we were all lined up and we were told to fight... to the death with this... man. He was twice the size of any of us and we had to fight him; bigger and so much stronger than us... I was fourth in the line, the first three tried hard but they were so scared, they did not know what to do and they died quickly... snapping their necks easily or even for one of them crushing her skull, just in one hand." Her eyes glazed over as she relived the memories through her blurry human eyes.

"Soon it came to my time to fight this losing battle. I fought as best that I could... he started tormenting me and something inside me just snapped. That little voice in the back of my head always saying I was never good enough, the voice that thrived on pain and anger, that voice that I begun to believe as my demand... my beast... the monster that plagued my thoughts with torture and destruction. That voice came to the front... her fury over flowing with rage.

"It felt like I was not in control of my own body but _she_ was: my monster controlled it... My body crouched like a lioness ready to attack. Moving fluently like a dancer I weaved in and out of the man's grasps. When his back was turned that's when my beast attacked him... Digging my nails into his flesh like they were claws slicing through the flesh of his chest and wrapped my legs around his torso locking my feet around each other... he started to punch my sides but I held on tight.

"My beast curved my body around so that my teeth could reach the front of his neck then bit down... hard, ripping and shredding through his neck. I tasted his salty blood in my mouth but if felt like my beast longed for more, her lust for blood, she lusted for a fight... my body was still wrapped around the man as he fell to the ground died...

"The look on my master's face... his eyes held awe, yet fear. That was when my demon took over. With each fight she grow stronger and with each beating I grow weaker... but I never stopped... she took control I guess you could say when I had to fight. I began to become as hard as my beast. Even with all of my masters; I served with no question. I learnt the first time to not disobey..." She trailed off lost in her memories...

Soon we decided to go back home. Back to the present, back to reality. Were the past is the past and cannot hurt as much as it can when every were you look is the past. We packed everything into Emmet's jeep. Some of her clothes, some of her personal items like something as simple as hat. She said that her parents gave it to her for her birthday one time. She said that it was special; that it was called an akubra and that it was an iconic Australian hat. The hat sat in her lap all the way home as she brushed her hands across the surface of the black hat.

Soon we were up the drive way and into the garage. Finally once more home.

**AN  
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**Sorry I did not update sooner. **

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	8. Chapter 8: Visitors

Chapter 8: Visitors

The days went past just as normal as it could be for a family of vampires as such as ours. I helped Bella with doing her work from school she had missed while she was in the hospital. Currently, we were doing some math. We were sitting in her room working through the text book. There was just one question that Bella was stuck on.

"I can't do it!"

"Calm down Bella. We just have to take it step by step."

"Edward you know that I'm not good at math!"

"And that's why I'm here," I said as she let out a heavy sigh and nodded. "Don't worry Bella you'll get the hang of it soon. You're a quick learner. Don't put yourself down; you're a smart girl just because you can't do one question does not make you stupid."

"But that's the thing I'm not smart! I've never been smart especially after... it happened."

"Oh Bella! Just because you missed a few years of schooling does not mean anything. You might not be able to know what someone in year 11 knows does not mean that you are not smart. You know a lot of things...Like how many people in your year in school know how to speak fluently several languages?"

"No one really," she said looking down.

"Exactly. Who would be able to go through what you have been through?"

She looked up to me with question in her thoughts '_where are you going with this?__'_

"Bella, you are one of the bravest people that I have ever met; even the bravest person I've ever met and in all my years of walking this earth I've met many people. No matter what anyone may think, even yourself you are smart, brave, strong, and you are a very special person. Is that clear," I asked, bringing my hand up to cup her cheek as she nodded. "Now how about we get this question done..."

Bella had doubted herself ever since I started tutoring her and helping her get back up to speed with what she was learning at school. I knew that that doubt went further back then the first lesson when I first started teaching her. I knew it was imbedded in her when she was taken, throughout the beatings and people telling her that she was nothing and that she was stupid she soon began to believe what she was told and when she had come back home she had really believed it when school became hard to understand but she did not want to say that she needed help because of what the consequences might be if she asked. So she just struggled on fearing what would happen if she asked for help.

But now as I tutored her there could be no deception on her part because I could hear every thought that passed through her mind.

We spent a few more hours going though her other subjects till we decided that it was time to stop for the day.

We both moved down stairs she moved to the couch with a book and I moved to my piano. I sat down and realised that it had been a while since I had played. Brushing me fingers across the keys filing the house with music. As the sweet symphony went on I closed of all the thoughts in the house and let my fingers dance across the keys and I put all of my emotions in to the form of music. As the music flowed in to another song I realised I was playing Bella's lullaby. I felt someone come sit on the piano stool with me and when I opened my eyes which I had not realised I had closed and saw Bella. I smiled at her and she smiled back at me and then closed her eyes court up in the music. When finally the piece came to a close I looked to Bella and she looked to me.

"I have heard that before... in the hospital; you would hum it to me and it would help keep**  
**the dreams away but I don't know the name." She looked to me with question in her strange deep brown eyes that was so human nothing like that of a vampire.

"The name is 'Bella's lullaby'. I made it for you." I said looking down. If I had been human I would have been blushing bright red.

"Thank you. It's beautiful Edward."

"You really like it?"

"I love it Edward."

I smiled at her. We were so close to each other. Her eyes held mine and before I realised we were millimeters apart. Our lips so close but then she froze. Trapped in a vision; it was of her vampire friends._ They came into town the sky was over cast. They went to her home first and smelt the scent of vampires and tracked the sent down coming here. The clock said 12:00pm two hours from now_. _The vision went on. Two of the vampires faces were angry and one was guarded as they came up to the house._ Suddenly the vision ended.

"I wonder why they look so mad." Her question was something that I did not know ether but soon we would find out in just about two hours. Alice came rushing down the stairs and called the rest of the family together as well. We sat in the large lounge room.

Alice started, "we are going to have some visitors. Bella's old friends are coming to visit but it seems that something is not quite right because for some reason they seem angry."

"Are they a threat?" Jasper asked

"They won't harm anyone unless they feel threatened so I don't think so."

"What do you mean you don't **think** so?" hissed Rosalie.

"Rosalie. That was not needed," Esme soldered.

Rosalie was about to say something back but I interrupted, "it's OK Esme. She does have a valid question," I said then looked towards Rosalie, "I used **think** because it just depends on whether they think we are a threat or not. We just have to make sure that we don't do anything that might make them feel threatened."

The thoughts in the room were all unsure about what made these three solders angry.

Soon there were two more thoughts that I could hear and they were come fast.

_'__...if they have hurt her I__'__m going to rip__'__em all apart...__'_one thought.

_'__...I wonder what we are dealing with...__'_ another thought but the last one I could not hear so that one must have been John.

"Carlisle they're here," Bella and I said at the same time.

We all filled in front of the door and met outside. Carlisle, Emmet, Jasper and I went out first then Esme, Rosalie, Alice and Bella came out behind us. Then the two thoughts and one guarded one came into view.

The one up front I recognised as Major Aaron Smith because dark brown hair which looked almost black in person, his expression was guarded just as it was in the vision. The next I recognised from Bella's mind as Lieutenant John Jones he had messy blond hair and the last one must have been Captain Alex Walker he had light brown hair. They both looked very angry.

The three men stroked towards us and the light brown haired one hissed, "How dare you, you bloody ba-"

"Captain! Close your mouth." The captain snapped his mouth shut and balled his hands into fists at his sides glaring at us. I realised why there was so much anger in their glares. They thought that we had killed her. "What have you done with Bella? If you have killed her you will pay the price." the major said trying to keep clam.

Carlisle looked to them slightly confused, "we have not hurt Bella at all. She is perfectly fine..."

Before Carlisle could say any more Bella poked her head around me and smiled up at her old friends, "now, now. No need to be aggressive. I'm fine." She said as she walked around me to stand in front. The three men's faces and thoughts went from plan fury to complete joy.

"Bella!" the three of them said simultaneously and smiled coming up to in bras her in a hug.

"We thought you were died." Aaron said.

"Why would you assume such a thing like that?" asked Bella.

"Well we went to you house and smelled vampires and thought that... well they got you."

"Well they did get me and that would be why I'm here now."

"What do you mean? You can't be a vampire, you don't have red eyes," Aaron said confused.

"Well I don't really know why I don't have red eye but I am defiantly a vampire," Bella replied.

"If you're a vampire..."

"Then I can take you on easy and win against you in a fight." She said interrupting Aaron. He looked at her confused _'__how did she know I was going to suggest a fight?__'_ "because I can read your mind."

"Mate. That's kind of creepy. What, so you heard everything we were thinking just before?"

"Yep," said smiling.

"That would be hard to get used to."

"We are all ready used to not having any privacy since Edward can read minds tow. That's where Bella got her gist from and the ability of seeing the futureform me. Kind of cool right? By the way I'm Alice!" Alice said excitedly.

I looked into Bella's mind to get more information about them but I could not find her mind it was like something was blocking it. She looked to me like she was trying to tell me something through her mind but could not hear her.

"Edward what do you mean you can't hear me?" she said out loud.

"I mean I cannot hear your mind anymore, just like I cannot see Lieutenant John Jones' mind."

"John are you shielding me?"

"No."

"This is quite intrusting but please how about we all go inside to talk." Carlisle said. Then we all moved inside.

We all sat in chairs around the room or some stood and some sat on the floor. I was on the floor next to the lounge where Bella sat. When we were all seated Carlisle introduced us all then we got down to work.

"Bella do you feel that anything else is different?" asked Carlisle. She looked deep in concentration. I just wished that I could hear what she was thinking.

"You did say that your friends had gifts so maybe like with Edward, Alice and Jasper you have their gifts as well."

"What do you mean by that? How many gifts can one vampire have?"

"On Bella's first hunt she went hunting and when she consumed the blood she was able to...copy... I guess you could say...others gifts. So when she came near Edward she got his ability to hear people's thoughts and like just now she went near Lieutenant Jones and got his gift as well but I am unsure of how many gifts Bella will be able to have because Bella has only been around us."

"So she would my gift as well," Aaron stated, then looked to Bella, "how about we see if you have my gift too," he looked up to Carlisle and Esme, "should we try this outside as not to damage you beautiful home Mrs. Cullen?" Aaron said smiling at Esme politely.

"Why thank you for your compliment Major Smith."

We then all moved outside. "All right Bells you see the bolder over there," Aaron said pointing to the large bolder near the little river that ran by the house, "I want you to use you mind and make a shape out of it. Like this."

The bolder molded into a perfect cube each side of the cube was sooth and then it went back to its original shape. All of my family were amazed with Aaron's gift. Bella stepped up and closed her eyes concentrating. I was shore if I could see into her mind that she was imagining the bolder becoming a cube. The bolder shook violently and slowly but shoaly began forming into a cube. Bella opened her eyes and smiled as she saw her handy work. Though the cube was not as perfect as Aaron's it was very close and considering that it was only the first time she had ever done it, it was perfect in its own way.

She looked to me and smiled and I smile back sending my praises in my thoughts and her smile grew bigger.

As the afternoon wore on Bella had shaped the bolder into more complex things and being a quick learner she managed to create a moving lioness out of stone. And for Alex and his gift he helped her to control her gift. She made it rain, snow and hall but only in the proximity of the meadow were the house stood.

Soon the sun had set and we retreated back into the house to relax. Carlisle went back to the hospital to start his night shift and the rest of us went to different areas of the house. Aaron, Alex and John stayed in lounge room with Bella and I.

Bella and her friends got reacquainted once again as she told them about how she was changed and soon as the night wore on the three decided to go hunting. Over the weeks Bella could easily use her new gifts. She could now shape her shield mentally and physically. She could even pull back her shield completely.

The three soldiers easily became close with my family because of their easy going attitude. They stayed for a few weeks but soon their job of defending this country called them back into service and they had to leave.

We were all at the foyer saying our goodbyes to our new found friends.

"It's an honour to meet you Carlisle. Thank you for sharing your home with us," Aaron said to Carlisle.

"It was a pleasure having you." Carlisle responded.

Aaron and the others moved on to Bella saying their good bye.

When they left I went to my piano skimming the keys with my fingers and then started to play the compensation that I made for Esme. The music flowed throughout the house. I remembered that the last time I had sat here Bella was on the stool next to me and we were so close, the feel of her body next to me. Something changed at that moment; I knew I could not live without her but it was like there was something more. From the moment that we met we could tell each other anything and everything. She was not just a friend or a sister but my best friend and when we had sat here together somehow we had the desire to become more than just that.

Like last time I felt Bella sit next to me and just knowing that she was near made me whole. I looked at her and smile and she smile back. We simply sat there bathing in each other's presents. Happy and content.

** Thank you for reading and PLEASE REVIEW!**

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	9. Chapter 9: Impossible Turned Possible

**To answer matena question of whether Bella still has the gold tattoo on her back that would be a yes she does. When she became a vampire the gold engraving on her back became a permanent fixture because the skin melded around the gold and the skin is impenetrable so her skin does not come apart from the gold. And since she is very strong with being a vampire she is more flexible since she can now bend the gold. (So she can bend her back). I hope that I have answered your question and given you a bit more info.**

**And to xox-twilight-xoxB on whether Edward and Bella together their in the stage in between the 'just friends' and 'in love' stage they are both just unsure of their own and each other's feelings for each other. And yes if Bella comes in proximity to someone with a gift (just giving you guys a clue they don't have to be a vampire) then she will copy that gift and make it her own because when she was human and when she would fight others she would copy their abilities and their skills to help her win.**

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**I would love to answer any other questions that you have about this story.**

**All right just to let you know I was planning all along it might seem kind of random but it is not. This chapter has a key role in future chapters. Well on to the story. **

Chapter 9: The Impossible Turned Possible

I was in my room reading and Bella was in her room, also reading. The rest of the family had gone on a hunting trip and would be back later on today. Bella and I had hunted yesterday so there was no need for us to hunt. I had not heard any of Bella's thoughts for about three hours and I assumed that was because she had her shield up.

Just as I was getting up to change the CD that had finished in my CD player I was trapped in something like a vision but it was of the past. I had not seen such a thing except only when Bella had a nightmare and was dreaming of her time as a slave.

The dream was so vivid._'__There she was in a dark room like cell and there she lay bruised and battered on the cell floor. Men came in and once again beat her over and over again__'__. _I was frozen as I watched her dream helpless as they hurt her again and again. I felt the rage build inside of me willing my body to move to get her out of this nightmare but still it went on worse and worse as the monsters touched her in filthy ways. I was filled with disgusted and rage at what I saw in what they had done to her in her past.

Suddenly I was released from her nightmare as I heard her scream out in anguish. I was in her room in half a second. She was on her bed her hands in tight fists at her sides and her face pained. I went to comfort her but I could not get closer for there was a barer and recognized that it was her shield and I could not get to her. So I tried to calm her with words, "Bella, it's all right now. They're not going to hurt you ever again..." I kept trying to comfort her. She managed to calm down enough to bring her shield down and when I breathed in heavily with relief I stopped as venom slowly pooled in my mouth, I moved closer to Bella, "Bella, do you smell that?"

She took a deep breath and her eyes widened. "It smells like... blood."

She jumped of the bed and turned around and there on the bed was a small but differently blood patch. Bella quickly moved to the mirror and turned her back to the mirror and looked. There on her pants was another blood spot. "Impossible! Edward this is just..."

I had no words for what I had seen. Then I heard **it**. A quiet but steady heart beat. How can a vampire get her period? How can a vampire have a heart beat? Is that not impossible as she had said? I knew that Bella was special but this is just incredible.

"Bella, listen."

She stopped and listened, "a heart beat?"

"Yes, **your** heart beat."

"Mine? But that's..."

"Impossible? Well I guess its part of the blood thing..."

"Oh... um... I got to change..."

Bella ran into her cupboard and came out with clean pants and underwear and race into her bathroom. I looked to her bed and stripped the quilt from the bed and turned towards the bathroom door, "Bella I'm just going to wash your quilt. Call if you need me."

"Ok," Bella whispered, trying to find her voice. I sped down stairs to the laundry. I put the quilt in the washing machine and turned it on then quickly went back up to Bella's room. Bella came out of the bathroom, "Edward we have to go to the shops right now."

"I don't think that's a good idea. You have not been around humans..."

"All right Edward you go down and get me some period pads and tampons," she said glaring at me.

"Hmm. You promise that you will hold your breath the whole way?"

"Yeah, yeah now can we get this over with?"

We got in my car and drove to the shops in town. When we parked she started dragging me around the shopping centre. Finally we found the right section she picked out the packets and put it into the basket. She then moved down the aisle and we happened to pass the chocolate which she headed down. "Bella what are you doing?"

"Getting something"

"You do realise that I really doubt that you're going to like this stuff."

"You never know. I just want to try." She said simply and I just rolled my eyes and followed her around the store. Bella not only got chocolate but also ice-cream and strawberries. We finally got to the checkout and to find out that the person new Bella.

We put all of the things on the check out and looked up to the cashier. She was a tall blond girl with tanned skin and vibrant blue eyes. "Oh, Bella you got better. I'm so glad. I'm sorry about your parents," she said sadly. Her name tag said 'Sarah'

"Thanks Sarah. Yeah I'm still not the best but I'm getting there," Bella said giving her a small smile. We walked out of the store and went back to the car. Bella let out the remainder of her breath that she held and slummed against the seat.

When we got home Bella took the tampons out and ran up stairs. In a matter of seconds she was back with the shopping bag on her lap on the lounge. I went over and sat next to her, "Bella do you really think this is a good idea?"

"What's it going to hurt?" She said picking up the chocolate bar and biting into it. I waited for her to spit it out but it never came. I looked to her shocked.

There she was still eating it. "How can you eat that?"

"It's tastes good thank you very much."

I got up and put a movie in and soon the rest of the family came home. Emmet was first in the door when he heard the Transformers movie playing he ran into the house and suddenly stopped died in his tracks frozen with a confused and grossed out face on, "BELLS! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?"

Bella looked up from the TV still holding one of her manly half eaten chocolate in her hand, "Eating. What else would it look like?" She said casually.

By that time the rest of the family had entered the house all with confused faces on. Bella and I looked at each other,_'__I guess we got to tell them about that little discovery that we made about me?_' Bella thought to me.

_'__Yep, do you want to do it or do you want me to tell them?__'_

_'__Can you tell them? I don__'__t really want to do it.__'_

"I guess we should all sit down. How about we go to the table? Then I'll explain," I said. The family all moved to the dining room table were we did all the important family meetings and such. Carlisle sat at the head with Esme on his right and I on his left with Bella next to me and Alice next to her and so on.

"So Edward what do you have to say?" Carlisle asked looking between Bella and I.

"Well today Bella had a nightmare and before anyone says anything let me continue," I said stopping all the thoughts in the process, "she fell asleep and when she woke up... she," this was going to be harder then I had first thought, "...she..."

I looked to Bella to help me out, "I had my period," she blurted out all of a sudden. The room was silent literally especially for me, not a thought was said in the room. Complete and utter silence but it only lasted a second because then the silence became full yelling thoughts. The loudest was from Rosalie. She had connected the dots instantly. If Bella's normal body functions had been 'unfrozen' to say the least then Bella could then maybe be able to have a child and Rosalie was not aloud that opportunity when she was change and this made her jealous. Rosalie glared at Bella and her thoughts became crueller.

"Rosalie," Bella snapped and a growl started to build in her chest.

"Well it's true. You come here with all you flashy gifts and then you become more human and now you will be able to get something that we have wanted-no longed for. You get to have the child that I would never get. You're lucky." Rosalie said sharply glaring at Bella.

Bella looked deep into Rosalie's eyes and then said, "When I came back home the girls would talk about their dreams of what they would call their children... They had it all planed out and I couldn't say anything because that dream was brutally ripped away from me. But that was not my only dream that was ripped away...My dream was that my husband would be my first... that I could say to him that I gave all of myself to him and that I fort to keep myself to be only his...I fort but I did not succeed... over and over again I did not succeed... From the first time they...they touched me...I knew that... that my dreams were over. I couldn't have children when I was human Rosalie. I never got the chance to even think that I might be able to because I already knew. You had a chance to have a child even if you didn't... you still could have but when I was human I couldn't...I didn't have a choice..." she had zoned out with what she was saying but once again she looked into Rosalie's eyes with even more fire and said, "Rosalie I am **not** lucky."

Rosalie's glare softened and she looked away from Bella's gaze. The mood in the room was sad and sober and all that could be heard was our breathing and Bella's light heart beat. Eventually Carlisle spoke breaking the silence, "Bella, I guess it would be possible for you to have a child since your body would be able to develop the child but we would have no idea what would happen. It could end up being that even though your normal cycle has begun you body might not be able to properly care for the child."

"I know Carlisle. But I don't understand what happened. Why does it start now?"

"Maybe it had started in the beginning when you were first changed but it was smaller things internally and when you had a nightmare you became very emotional and the coursed you hormones that were all ready shifting to speed up and you period happened."

"Why did it happen to Bella?" asked Alice curiously.

"Maybe it was the influenza. It seemed different than others."

"Have they found a cure?" I asked.

"They are getting there but there are some that get better on their own but most don't."

The conversation went on like that for a bit longer just asking Carlisle about the influenza. After that we left the table and Bella and I headed back to the lounge room where we finished watching Transformers.

Many things happened that day that I did not understand or even comprehend but all things happen for a reason but that reason I didn't know at that time but someday everything will become clear to me but for now all I had were mysteries.

**End notes **

**Thank you some much for reading and PLEASE REVIEW****  
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****** i would love it if you guys could give me some ideas for were the Cullens could go next after they leave Australia. that would help me a lot.  
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	10. Chapter 10:Told Secrets

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Chapter 10: Told Secrets

Once again we went to our special place to get away from the others. We would watch the sun rise or sun set witch ever we happened to stay and see I silence then we would talk.

These times we could talk about anything, the past, the present or even the future and what it might hold but today as the sun rose we sat in perfect silence then Bella turned to me, "Edward what happens when we die?"

"I don't know,"

"You think you don't have a soul," it was not a question but a statement. "I hear it all the time. Not just from you but also from Carlisle too. He doubts himself over whether he should have changed you or not. He blames himself because of your loneliness and your pain."

"I know but I cannot tell him to stop worrying about me because he would not listen..."

"But what makes you think that you don't have a soul?"

"How can I have a soul when I am a monster? We are built to kill; everything about us is to attract our pry to kill them. We gave up our souls when we were changed."

"So from what you think you took away my soul?"

"Yes. It was one of the hardest things that I had to do. I played god with your life and your soul and you knew this all along and yet here you are sitting beside me; my best friend."

"I don't blame you for what you did and I never will. You're a wonderful, compassionate and honest person, your loving and caring, you would stand up for those who could not. How could you be a monster?"

"You're describing Carlisle not me."

"Well you don't see yourself very clearly do you?"

"I could say the same about you as well."

"You could but I was a monster before I even entered this life. I don't deserve my soul."

"But you do. They did terrible things to you. They tried to brake you but you held on strong"

"For a time then I broke down and bended to my masters will. I was weak and even though I am a vampire now I am still weak. Useless"

"That's not true. You are not weak or useless that's just what they called you."

"But it's true Edward. It was not the beatings that broke me it was when they took my virginity and stripped me of my one and only gift that I had to offer... the thing that I care about most... they took it away from me and I can never get it back."

"You have so much to offer but you just don't see it."

"And what would that be Edward?" Bella said looking at me.

"You're smart..."

"No I'm not," she mumbled interrupting me at the beginning of my rant.

"Don't interrupt because you **are** smart and you **are **loving and kind, you **are** brave and strong, you're a wonderful person, you're funny and happy, you're compassionate and you put others before yourself and you're beautiful inside and out."

"That's not me you're describing, that's your family."

"You are my family. You are a Cullen and whether you think you're those things or not it does not matter because it is true. You've been reading my mind and there are no lies that I have spoken."

"Or you just believe you own lies."

"You ask anyone and I am sure they would say the same."

"Not if they knew me when I was a slave…" she murmured.

"I don't believe that."

"You only said the good things about me. What about the bad... that I am a murder, a lire, a thief, and I **can** be uncaring and I **can **be unloving as I slaughtered every one that my master said too; now that in my book was not **smart** I was like a sheep just following orders aimlessly, now was I compassionate in those times Edward?"

"We all do wrong Bella, we all sin. There is no one that is perfect. Not even Carlisle. We can't change the past but we can change the future. We can become a better person no matter what we have done in the past. We all do things that we regret and things that we are not proud of but we can change; we just have to move on and not do it again."

"But how can I move on when I remember everything. All the nameless faces that I have killed, and the people that are still there; all the women that through all the bad were the only good in my life at the time."

"Are they the ones that told you the stories?"

"Yes when the master was away it was a lot more relaxed we would do our chores so the guard men did not hurt anyone then we would sit down the older ladies would tell us stories of mythical creatures and stories of old. Some of the guards would come and listen to the ladies but it was only the nice ones. Not all of them were cruel. The old ladies would be the ones that when one of the guards beat us or even the master they would fix us back up again. They were the mothers that we did not have any more."

"They seem like good people."

"Yeah they were. They tort me how to speak their language; It seemed life was just that little bit easier and then in return I tort them English, to read and write... that sort of thing,"

"You must have helped them a lot,"

"I did what I could but sometimes it's not good enough."

"Even if it was a little it was still better than nothing."

"Yeah I guess."

"See told you were a good person," I said smiling as she rolled her eyes at me.

"What ever," she said smiling at me

It went on like that for a time little comments thrown at each other but then we sobered falling into comfortable silence not speaking just looking around at the beautiful landscape that was Australia.

"Why can't I be like everybody else? Why do I have to be different?"

"Everything happens for a reason and sometimes those reasons elude us for a time."

"But why do things happen that can bring people to braking point?"

"Life is not perfect and no one can really know what the future might bring not even Alice knows of sure, not even you do."

"So the future is an 'only God knows' thing?"

"Yeah I guess it is"

We went quiet for a time then Bella asked, "Do you believe that there is a God?"

"Yes I do. Just look around you how can something such as this amazing and full of brilliants be an accident. We ourselves are that of the impossible and yet here we are."

"You don't think that you have a soul but you think that there is a god? Is that not just kind of unfair."

"I guess but how can we have souls we had our human life and when that was over we were brought into this life."

"Would not God have mercy on his own creation since we had no choice but to be this way?"

"Maybe he does. But I may know the minds of humans I how ever do not know the mind of God. But I guess in some way God cares and loves us in his own way."

"But how can he? After all that I have done? I'm a monster. Why would something like that care for me? I'm nothing."

"You're not a monster Bella and you are not nothing. You think to lowly of you self. You listen to me now and you listen to me good Bella. You mean the world to me and our family. I can't think of how life would be if I had not met you. You have brought the missing piece of our family and made it whole; really whole. You made me whole Bella and I did not even know that I was missing a piece of myself and when I met you everything just came together. You are not nothing Bella you are everything. I... I love you Bella more than that of just a sister or a friend. I love you."

I sat there, tense. I did not know what she was going to say for she had blocked her thoughts. I was shocked with myself I had told her that I was in love with her. That one secret that I kept to myself: hiding all my desires under the surface but now she knew every thing and I had no idea what she was going to say. I felt fear for the first time since I thought that I was not going to stop feeding from her that I would not stop before I killed her; I feared of what she would say. I gazed into her beautiful yet so human brown eyes as I waited for her to answer.

**End notes**

**what will our dear Bella say? how is Edward going to react to her answer? questions, questions and more questions. **

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**_!PLEASE READ! _****_!PLEASE READ! _****_!PLEASE READ! _****_!PLEASE READ! _****_!PLEASE READ! _****_!PLEASE READ!_**

**_Dear My Wonderful Readers_**

_**I know that there is quite a few of you reading this and i am really glade that you have but i don't get many reviews so i don't know how you are liking it. i would love to maybe get to 20 reviews it would sooooooooo help me if i new your thoughts because I'm not Edward (so i can't read your mind) and I'm only human. so please PLEASE let me know what you think of what i have written! i would appreciate it greatly.**_

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_**thank you all!**_

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	11. Chapter 11:Dream a little dream

Chapter 11: dream a little dream

It felt like we sat there in silence for hours as she thought through her thoughts even though it was just seconds. Still she had not said a word but she had a lot to think about even with our minds being able to comprehend vast amounts of information finding out that you best friend is in fact in love with you takes a bit to comprehend. She looked up to me and opened her mind to me. Letting all her thoughts and feelings flow through her mind._'__I love you too and...I think I have all along. I just would not grasp that maybe in some why you could love me. So I accepted that I could never be yours and then you go and tell me that you **do** love me and it__'__s just hard to understand,__'_"I don't deserve your love Edward. I never have deserved any one; especially you. You're perfect and I love you so much," She looked like she had tears in her eyes as she said and thought this.

She really loved me? "You love me?"

She half smiled at me, "yeah, I love you. So very much."

I pulled her into my arms and hugged her to me, "it is **I **who do not deserve **you** Bella and yet here I am with you in my arms knowing that **you** **love me.**"

"But you deserve someone better than me."

"You don't see yourself properly I have told you this over and over. You are an amazing person Bella and don't forget that."

"It just so hard to forget something like that was drummed so much into my head. You've seen in my head what it was and is like still. It just seems that I can't get rid of these types of thoughts and it scars me."

"I know love but no one is perfect."

"You are."

I laughed without hummer, "No, no I'm not even close"

"You might not be completely perfect but your closer to Carlisle then you think."

"No I'm not. I cannot be closer to Carlisle's perfection because it is beyond my reach especially now," I said looking down ashamed of myself and my actions of the past.

"The past is the past Edward no matter how much we want to change it we will never be able. We all made mistakes and things we regret. We both know this and we should both listen to our own and each other's advice because we say the same thing..."

"But we just don't listen to that advice," I finished, "I know it's just hard but you know this just as well as I do."

"We both have things that need fixing but that just takes time and we have all the time in the world," she said smiling and I hugged her closer. We must have sat there and talked all day for the sun was setting. We turned in the direction of it and watched as the great ball of fire went behind the mountains out of our view, for as one day ended here another was just beginning in another part of the world.

We got up and I picked her up and put her on my back; she laughed as I did so. Her bell like laugh echoed through the bush land. I put her down half way to the house because she wanted to race. We sprinted through the shrubs and weaved around the trees. When we enter the meadow were the house stood I grabbed her around the waist and pulled her to me spinning her around in a circle and making her laugh more then we fell to the ground chuckling.

When we got into the house all the family except for Alice were giving us curious glances as to the change in the way we acted around each other because of my arm wrapped around her waist just as hers was around mine.

I looked to Alice as she had a huge grin planted on her pail face and seemed to vibrate from her enthusiasm. When Jasper saw this he put a hand on her shoulder and she immediately calmed down a bit yet she was still smiling brightly.

"So what did we miss?" Jasper asked

"Well..."Bella and I said at the same time, '_what should we say?_' Bella said to me though her thoughts. I was about to say something out loud when Alice beat me to it.

"THEIR TOGETHER!" Alice screamed in happiness.

"After all these years our little Edie has finally done it," Emmet said with laugh.

"My names not Edie," I said glaring at Emmet but all he did was chuckle and shrug his massive shoulders.

"Oh Edward, Bella I'm so happy for you both," Esme said smiling at us. Her honey coloured eyes gleamed with joy and happiness. The love she held for her family shone in her eye like the sun in a clear blue sky. No matter what we would do she would love us just the same as always.

We both smile up at Esme as she hugged us both smiling brightly.

As the day continued we did as we normally did hanging around the house doing different things. Bella and I were in the family room flipping through the many station on the TV and reading whena squealing Alice came into the room followed by a confused Jasper. _'__This is going to be so FUN!__'_she said in her thoughts and that got me worried. I looked up from my book to Bella at my side as she had just woken up from her hour of slumber. We both looked to Alice as she called the family together.

Alice was jumping up and down with excitement. "So why are we all here for Alice?" Emmet said lounging back in his chair with his arm swung over Rose's shoulders.

"We're all going to the Melbourne cup!" Alice squealed.

"Ah what's the Melbourne cup?" Emmet asked.

"It's a horse racing thing. It's real big in Australia but I'm guessing that we're not going for the horses," Bella answered him.

"What would we be going for?" asked Emmet.

"THE FASHION!" Alice basically screamed in delight. I rolled my eyes at her out burst of excitement and chuckled along with Bella at her enthusiasm.

"So when is this Melbourne cup?" I asked.

"It's next month. So pleeease can we go? Pleeeaassse Carlisle?" She said giving him her puppy eyes.

"Well...what do you guys think?"

"I guess it won't be that bad..." said Rose

"All right why not," said Emmet

"Yeah it just might be fun," I said

"Yeah ok. I in ," Bella said

"What ever Alice wants, I'm good with," Jasper said looking at a smiling Alice

"We could all go as a family, it will be fun," Esme said smiling brightly.

"YEAH! We are going to have so much FUN! I'm going to get every thing ready!" Alice said just before breezed away up to her room to her computer.

Me and Bella chucked and went back to what we were doing when Bella's stomach growled and she licked her lips. "Come help me make something to eat," she said tugging on my hand. We got into the kitchen and she got all the ingredients out to make a meal for herself and told me what to do. We put my iPod into the iPod speakers so we could listen and cook at the same time but Bella ended up dancing too. I watched her as she danced around the kitchen so very graceful that any dancer would be jealous. She heard my ramblings about her and she rolled her eyes and nudged her elbow into my side so I wrapped my arms around her waist swinging her hips to the dance music. In a matter of moments we were dancing to the heavy beat and soon I realised we were not alone. Alice had pulled Jasper into the kitchen to dance and soon all us 'kids' were dancing trying to outdo the other.

It seemed to get even more let's just say dirty but we did not get too far because

a) I would not be doing that because I have already been to un-gentlemanly already and

b) The 'music' had court the attention of Esme and Carlisle.

We were so into the music that we did not know until the music just cut off in mid verse and that's when we saw a very unimpressed Esme and Carlisle was trying to hold in his chuckles and we just froze.

"Oops," I blurted out.

"'Oops' is right. This is very improper I would have expected more from all of you. THAT is for the bedroom only NOT the KITCHEN! Is that under stood?" Esme said glaring at all of us.

"But weren't really doing anything," said Emmet and I rolled my eyes at him. He and Rose were the worsted in THAT department and I snorted at what he said.

"Then what WERE you doing Emmet?" I said almost bursting out laughing. He glared at me and pocked his tong out at me like a three year old and just before he could bring his tong back Esme had a hold of his tong pulling him down so she was eye level with him.

"Well what were you doing?" Esme growled at him.

By this time Emmet was really scared. She let go of his tong so he could speak and we were all waiting for Mr. Dumbo here to answer.

"Well... we were...we were club dancing," he said grinning, but Esme was still glaring at him... and us.

"Esme it was not appropriate of us to do this kind of thing especially in your kitchen and we are really sorry. We won't do it again," Bella pleaded her wide brown eyes boring into Esme with sincerity and with Jasper's and Bella's help Esme calmed down and smiled.

"All right but I do NOT want to see such a thing again. Understood?"

We all nodded not willing to speak.

Everyone went their separate ways and we went back to cooking and turned my iPod on to something more appropriate and this time instead of dancing we just sung along to the music.

The weeks went by getting closer to our little trip to go to the Melbourne Cup and Alice took us shopping for our clothes.

We drove all the way into Newcastle to go to this dress boutique that Alice found on one of her shopping trips. Alice drove with Jasper in her porch just as Emmet drive his jeep with Rosalie, Carlisle and Esme took the Mercedes and Bella and I took my Audi.

Alice picked out all of our clothes and it just seem as though we were there for days. Bella and I escaped for an hour or so because Bella got hungry so we went to a nearby cafe so she could have lunch. Then soon when every one else was finished with getting their clothes and such we went back home.

On the way home Bella fell asleep and so I turned the radio down so it was barely even heard. Time pasted as her heart beet and her breathing became steady and she fell into her dreams.

_'__Bella and I were in a meadow. It was perfectly round, the sun was shining above us as I held her in my arms but there was something else. It was small, pale white and bronze like hair on top of its head. At first I thought it was some type of doll for something so small and yet so perfect in every way but when I finale got a better look I found that it was a little girl she was pale but with a light blush that tinted her pale cheeks, her hair was in natural bronze ringlets that fell down the side of her beautiful face, but what truly amazed me was how much her facile features were exactly like both Bella and I. Half Bella and half me and she was just as perfect in every way; just like Bella. _

_Every thing was perfect; we were all in a beautiful meadow laying in-between the wild flowers that blossomed through the rich green grass. My arms encircled my beautiful mate and from my guess my beautiful daughter too. I was humming Bella__'__s lullaby as Bella and I watched this small beautiful girl in our arms sleep so peacefully; our little angel.__'_

Ever since she had got more off her humanity back and realised that she just might have a chance at have a child she had been having dreams of having a child. Sometime it was a little boy and sometime it was a little girl just as this one was.

Sometime they were had brown eyes, sometimes they had green like the ones I had so many years ago when I had been human and sometime they had gold eyes like the vegetarian vampires did and sometime they would had blood red eyes yet the mood around the child would never changed it was always so very perfect. Her dreams were always so peaceful when she would dream of a child; of **our **child.

I could not stop the smile that stretched across my face at that thought. To really have a child that would be something extraordinary but my smile sank with the reality for I am a normal vampire I could not give Bella a child.

Just as Emmet, Jasper and Carlisle could not give their mates a child I doubt greatly that I could give Bella her dream and that broke my heart. Though she had the ability to conceive her body was still frozen in time and could not change or grow like that of a human mother and even if some how she conceived a child maybe from a human though I cringed at the thought; they would not be frozen in time but the child that would grow inside of her would die for it would most likely not survive long; most likely from malnutrition and to say the least the lake of space.

But as long as she could dream and I could share her dreams with her then in the world of her dreams we could be a family Bella, a child and me. In her dreams she could be a mother but unfortunately she would have to wake up and the real world is not so perfect.

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I'm still need some ideas for were the Cullens can go after they leave Australia but before they go to forks. so please review and tell me what you guys think so i can make my story better because i want to do the best that i can and it would help to know how you guys think so please review. I'd love to know what you think! **

**Thank you for reading your all amazing!**

thanks for reading. i would live your ideas and comments. review!


	12. Chapter 12:First Kiss

Chapter12: First Kiss

The day of the cup had arrived and we decided to just have a day trip. So we when we got to the grounds Alice and Rosalie dragged Emmet and Jasper of to look at some of the fashion festivities and Esme and Carlisle went and had a look around.

Thankfully we had Bella to make sure that the grounds had a constant cloud cover but she did not have to do too much for the sky was already cloudy.

We went and had a look around at all the different things that the day had to offer. We walked around the grounds and watched some of the pre-races. I got Bella some food at one of the places that had food though I still don't know how she could eat that stuff but what ever Bella wanted Bella will get.

When the time came for the big race Bella and I met up with the others. As we looked out over the field, Alice brought out her little ticket.

"Alice what are you doing?"

"Aw come on you got to have at least one little bet. It's horse racing."

"Alice," Carlisle said sternly, "is it not unfair to everyone else"

"Not really there could always be something that happens to change the future when the race starts so we have just as much a chance at losing as we do wining. Oh please Carlisle it's just one little bet."

"All right Alice but next time ask; even if you already know the answer."

"Yes daddy," she said giving him the puppy dog eyes and Carlisle chuckled.

The race started and the horses were of speeding down the race track. The humans around us holding their breaths in anticipation as the horses sped closer towards the finish. One of the horses sprinted that just faster than the rest and crossed the line before the others.

The tall beauty: "_Americain__" _past the white painted line first and the crowed rose up in an almighty chorus of cheers and sighs as some lost and some won. Beside me Bella clapped for the wining horse as she smiled up at me and wrapped her arm around my waist and hugged me close.

She looked up to me, "thank you."

"May I ask why?"

"You may."

"Then why is it that you thank me for my love?"

"For bringing me her. I've never would have gotten to come here. So thank you."

"It was Alice's idea."

"But if it were not for you then I would not be here and that is why I'm thanking you."

I smiled down at her, "how about we go have a look at the cup winner," I said extending my arm. We all moved to the front of the crowd which let us past; as their instincts told them to move aside. We got to the front of the crowd and watched as the cup was handed to winning jockey and the horse was paraded around the winning circle. Once all the celebrations moved away so did we.

We moved around and had a look at the sights around Melbourne in our rental Aston DB9. As the day wore on I took Bella to diner just the two of us. She dared me to take a bit of some garlic bear that lay on the table and she laughed at my expression as I chewed the food which tasted like dirt. Her eyes gleaming with laughter which in return made me smile to not caring that the humans around use shrieked back from my exposed glistening sharp teeth.

After tea we got a call from Alice tell us to meet her at the Blue Velvet Nightclub. When we got there Alice, Jasper, Emmet and Rosalie were waiting for us with mischief looking smiles leaning against their rental cars. Rose and Emmet had an Audi R8 and Jasper and Alice had a Bugatti Veyron.

"What about Esme and Carlisle?"

"They went to have so alone time somewhere. You guys ready?"

"Woah, Alice, I can't get in there I'm only seventeen."

"Well Bella **Cullen** your birthday came early. You are eighteen," Alice said with a big smile plastered on her petite face. I just rolled my eyes and chuckled.

"Well that year went by pretty quick," Bella said

"Oh come on just have some fun. And you might want to change but don't worry I got you a dress that can go with your shoes."

"Ok fine I'll get changed in the car."

Alice handed her a blue silk dress then she disappeared into the car that we rented and in a maters of seconds she was back out standing next to me in all her beauty. The blue of her dress set of her pale white skin beautifully. It hugged her curves nicely running down her form like water running over smooth rock. She was the image of beauty. Before the others could notice my gawking I smiled at my stunning mate.

_'__I saw that by the way,__'_Bella thought to me.

_'__Well you do look beautiful my dear. No more then beautiful I haven__'__t got the words to describe you. Though I think that every time I look at you and must I say I__'__ve been thinking that a lot.__'_I thought to her smirking.

Bella chuckled looking up into my eyes, _'__it seems you__'__re not the only one that is a loss of words.__'_

_'__Did I tell you that I love you?'_

_'__Every day.__'_

We all moved into the club and I tightened my hold on Bella; though she is a new born with amazing restraint that could change in a matter of milliseconds. Rosalie, Emmet, Jasper, and Alice moved to dance floor with all the mob of humans absorbed in the beat of the music and the flashing lights.

I looked down at Bella, '_you ready?__'_

_'__Yeah.__'_

We moved our way to the dance floor over to be were the others were as they moved their bodies to the beat of the music. Once we joined them we did the same dancing to the heavy beat. The humans were too captivated with the music to notice that mere inches away from them the perfect killers were dancing right next to them and if any of us slipped at any moment we would take out the hold club and no one would be able to survive. It was good to just leave all of our worries away for just a few hours as moved our bodies together, dancing to the music and others around us.

Bella stopped me and moved us out of the crowed to the side, _'__Edward I need to go. If I stay...__'_

So I move Bella out because her control was dwindling so I told the others that we were going to take the car back but Alice said that she would do it since it would be closed.

We left the club in the early morning and we ran north heading deeper into the forest. It started to rain as we headed up the east coast still in the bush land. I looked to Bella to find that she had shielded her thoughts from me. I wrapped my arm around her waist pulling her to a stop and turning her to face me moving my hand to even out the crease between her deep brown eyes. She lifted her head to stare into my eyes, "I could have killed them all," she stated.

"Yes you could have but you stopped yourself and left willingly before you did anything that you were going to regret. You know your limits and you know when you have to turn around and leave."

"But what if I can't do that next time? What if someone accidentally cuts themselves and I can't stop?"

"Then we do what we've done with the others. We all slip."

"But us slipping means the end of another human life. I was a killer in my first life I don't want to be one in this one."

"I know Bella," I said wrapping my arms around her and pulling her closer to me, "I will do all that I can to make sure that you don't do something that you will regret. I promise."

"I guess that's all that I can ever ask for; I love you."

"As I love you"

We continued to run north till we came across a cliff facing east and we stopped for a moment to watch the sun rise then we moved on.

We came across some wild dogs and so we went hunting. We took down most of the pack before we moved on happy with our fill. Though some of the animals tried to fight back it was futile against us.

Bella was an amazing hunter her fluency and speed one would think that she is a hundred years old not just a couple of months.

We just kept running not really caring where we were since we would be able to find our sent and get back on track. We came across a waterfall in the middle of no were. We ran to the top and looked down on to the billabong as Bella calls it. The water looked crystal clear excepted the ribbons of white that came from the stirred up water at the base of the water fall thought the centre of the billabong darkened showing its deeper depth.

Then suddenly the crystal water came closer when I felt hands push me forward and I grabbed Bella too and we came falling down into the water. Water surrounded us as the sunlight pierced through the clear water bouncing of our skin making all around us sparkle with perfection.

We swam around just under the water for a while slowly inching closer to one another utile we were just touching. To an onlooker it would seem as though we were dancing to an unheard song, one that only the two of us could hear as we floated in the water in our own would were nothing else mattered just the two of us surrounded by the others beauty; captivated by it and nothing else mattered in the world.

Slowly ever so slowly our faces came closer, nether one of us wishing to rush just longing to prolong the moment. I reached up to cup her smooth glistening cheek bringing her smooth soft velvet like lips to mine as we moved our mouths together. Pure perfection; the kiss was sweet, and passionate, filled with something that I had never in my hundred years had ever experienced with such love it seemed to radiate into the water.

All around me all I could see was her, all I could feel was her, for she was my every thing, my all. We slowly rose to break the water's edge but never breaking our kiss. We arose from the water with just our heads and our shoulders above the surface. We slowly pulled back bit by bit realised the others lips and I just stared into her deep brown eye that seemed to be smoldering with deep brown cols if that were possible. I reached up to her face with my hand and she buried the side of her face in my hand coming closer to me and I hugged her closer to me bathing in her presents.

I looked down to her, "I love you so very much. All was and forever."

"And I love you too. With all my heart and soul."

We stayed for what must have been house for when we had gotten back home it was dark and every one was home. When we got home we went up into Bella's room and laid down one her bed. She fell asleep not to long after so I just held her perfect form in my undeserving arms. She truly was a miracle from heaven; a gift to an unworthy monster and I'm happy that I got to be that unworthy monster; as long as she wants me then I will be there for her and I hope and pray that that would be all eternity.

**thank you for reading and please review. I'll PM/Message/email you the next chapter if you review before i put it up. so please review cause i really love it when i find out what you think**.** so thank you again for reading and please review!**

**AND MERRY CHRISTMAS! I HOPE YOU ALL HAVE A WONDERFUL CHRISTMAS!  
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	13. Chapter 13:Saying Ones Good Byes

Chapter13: Saying Ones Good Byes

Today was the day that she was going for her learners test to get her L's and I was taking her into the RTA. As we entered and the assistant led her to a computer to do the test wile I sat in one of the chairs out front to wait for her to finish. In no time she finished the question and came out smiling.

"I go it and I got hundred percent," she said smiling even brighter.

"Well done. I'm proud of you my love. I knew you could do it," I said smiling in return.

The assistant came up to her and directed her to the area where she would get her photo taken. So we moved over there and soon she had her driver's license in hand walking out of the RTA.

"Do you want to start today?" I asked

"Ok. I guess so," she said, nervous.

"Don't worry you'll do fine."

We got into my car and I drove a secluded area outside of Dungog. I turned off the engine and got out and she got into the driver's seat and I in the passenger's seat after Bella had put on her L plats on the car.

"All right put the car in neutral and push in the clutch then turn the ignition on," she followed my instructions and the car revved to life. "Ok. Slowly take the clutch off while pressing down on the accelerator; slowly..."

It went on like this for a few hours and soon she was able to drive a short distance without the car stalling. When we had a few hours of driving I took her bake home and she wrote in her driving book.

We walked into the house and the first person to greet us was Emmett, "BELLA! DID YOU GET IT?"

"Yep I got it and then I went on my first drive with Edward," Bella said smiling up at me.

"WHAT! But what about me?"

"Em, I don't think making her feel embarrassed when you laugh at her when she makes a little mistake on her first drive is going to help anything."

"I would only laugh when it was funny."

"How about next time you can come with us when I go driving? Does that sound reasonable?" Bella asked.

"OK! Well congratulations Bella! Now we got to find you a car! Yeah!"

"Tomorrow we can drive into Newcastle and look at some cars."

"I'm coming!" Emmett said.

"I thought you would say that but please Emmett it is my decision not yours," Bella said in a firm voice to Emmett. "That goes for you to Edward," she said poking me in the side smiling.

"Of course my love."

And so that is what we did the next morning we drove into Newcastle in Emmett's jeep because Jasper came too. We decided... well Bella decided that she did not what something too expensive but still something that look nice so we went to a few of the car dealerships in Newcastle: Ford, Mitsubishi, Nissan, and Holden. We convinced her to look at some of the more expensive brands like Audi, BMW, and Mercedes Benz but finally she decided on Mitsubishi—aMitsubishiLancerEvolution to be exacted.

We all liked the car and we were going to order some parts for the car to make it go faster and get her a body kit among other things for the car. She just rolled her eyes and laughed at our excitement over 'soaping up' her car as she put it. When we went to agree on a price with the car sales man we all filled into his office and I must say he was slightly shaking out of unknowingly being in close proximity with four vampires in a small room yet he had no idea why he was so fearful.

I smirked when Jasper was deciding what would happen if he lifted the level of the poor human's anxiety and even Bella thought about it and she looked into the future and found that the man would faint from fear. So she said so that the human did not hear to not do it because the poor guy would just faint and there would be no fun. Bella calmed the guy down enough so that he was able to work yet still feared us slightly. '_Fear is healthy it can save us from danger,_' she had said in her mind.

So we sorted all the financial side of the car out then we agreed on a date that the car would be delivered to our house. Then we walked out happy with the agreement and drove home.

The car came to the house a week later and all the parts for the car were ready too. Rose showed Bella the different parts of the car and they were getting alone fine for the moment. Rose was pleased that Bella wanted to learn new things and seeing as cars was a passion of hers she was happy to teach, at least rose was not giving her the cold shoulder. She did everything that rose told her to do and rose was pleased with that.

I was in my room reading when Bella came up to me slightly hesitant but her mind was giving nothing away just more questions,_'__come on I can do this... Just got to ask him... That__'__s all...__'_

_"_What's wrong Bella?"

"Hum...can you hum...," '_come with me to say good to my parents?__'_

"Of course Bella; I will come with you."

"I just don't want to be alone."

"I know. I needed the same thing when mine past away and Carlisle was there for me."

"Thank you. I just really need to say good bye once and for all before I forget more about them..."

"Come on how about we go now?"

"Yeah that sounds like a good idea I guess"

I was raining outside probably because of Bella's emotions and her sadness was showing in the crying sky above us as we sped forth through the forest in the direction of the cemetery.

Bella stopped at the edge and grasped my stone hand in hers and we walked forward slowly through the grave yard. Many new graves were placed in the cemetery, some old and some young and most from the desice that had almost taken away my Bella away too.

Soon we found our way to were Mr. and Mrs. Swan were placed in their deaths, side by side for all time. Bella moved to sit in front her parent's grave and brushed her hand over the smoothed rock.

"I'm sorry that I could not be there at you funerals. I'm sorry for every thing that I've missed with you both in my life. So many things just went so very wrong in my human live and I could not spending these past few years with you and I miss you both so much.

So much has changed since you two past away and it's been hard but I'm not alone and I'm happy... I found some one that is always there for me no matter what. His suffered my little tantrums, and my self-doubt but he is still there for me. He's the best thing that has ever happened to me and I'm sure you both would really love him.

I have a big family now all seven of them. You'd love them there all so fun to be around. Cause there's Carlisle or Dr Cullen; he adopted me in to his family and he is like a second father to me, and then there's Esme, Carlisle's wife, and my second mother. They are really wonderful people.

Then there are the kids. There's Emmett he is really big but on the inside his just a big teddy bear, you cannot help but laugh when he is around and then there's Jasper and he can be very serious when he needs to be but then he can be really playful like Emmett. They are extremely competitive and it's quite funny when they get started but I love them there like the brothers that I never had.

There's Alice who is also married to Jasper but don't worry their not related. Alice is extraordinarily hypoactive and she can't sit still for a second sometimes but if you have a problem she will always be there for you when you need it. She loves shopping and it's her obsession. Then there is Rosalie she's really amazing with cars she can fix anything. We might not be very close but we are getting there though; I hope. They're both like sisters to me.

And last but not least there is Edward... He is the best friend that anyone could ever have. I love him dearly but more than just my friend he is what vampires call mates. I don't know what I'd do without him because he's the one. The one that I will love for all eternity and beyond that no matter what happens...

Well that's my adopted family for you. I also got my license and I also got a car too and I helped rose add the parts to it that the boys ordered...," she went silent for a while. Not moving just simply sitting.

I came and sat beside her and pulled her into my lap. In circling her in my protective embrace, "I miss them so much," Bella whispered

"I know Bella. I know," I said.

"Sing to me... please?"

"Of course, my love..." So I began to hum to her, her lullaby. As the rain lightened to just a sprinkle my love fell asleep in my arms as I slowly rocked and hummed her into the safety of dreamless sleep. Nothing can hurt you when are wrapped in the safe darkness of slumber. Sleep is such a wonderful thing really. A thing that humans take for granted so very easily.

The ability fall into oneself to come to be in a place were on one has to worry about the outside world that threatens to destroy us. To retreat into the safety of dreamless sleep; to not have to listen to any thoughts that are not my own. To simply shut every thing out just for a few hours would be a blessing. But I know that that could never happen. The girl in my arms only sleeps because of a miracle. Everything about her is a miracle.

Something so very impossible yet so very really and possible; that is what I hold in my arms now and I never want to let her go, for she is my heart, my very soul. I lost my soul when I was changed but then brought it back and it is her to keep. For she is the keeper of my soul and my once lonely heart that now has a reason to exist no to live because it is not just existing with Bella it is truly living. In a way my life only started when she came to be in it and like I say so many time as long as she wishes to be with me then I will be joyful. No matter what I will be there by her side till she sends me away.

And if that day comes it will be the death of me; for I cannot live without my soul. I will exist for my family but I could never live without my love, my life, my soul, my Bella.

**thanks for reading! and please review!please! i hope you enjoyed it and please tell me what you think of it!**

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	14. Chapter 14:The mastakes we make

Chapter 14: Mistakes we make

Every thing seemed perfect. Life was better than perfect.

Christmas past in a happy blur. Having Bella allowed us to have snow. We were all pretty happy about that when Bella came out with a stylish winter coat on even though she did not need one to keep warm and skipped towards the door. She opened the door and outside just around the meadow was a thick layer of snow. We all went outside and Bella came up to me.

"I always wanted a white Christmas," she said, smiling. I laughed and smiled down at her.

We spent the morning playing in the snow like children, laughing and smiling as we throw snow at each other. We later exchanged presents they were nothing major seeing we have every thing we could ever want.

Days past and soon New Years Eve came and we had flown down to Sydney to watch the fireworks that light up the blackened sky over the Sydney harbor bridge.

Months passed since New Year's Eve and now it was March and we were all out hunting. It had been a while since our last hunt and Bella had not gone without hunting so long. Her eyes were the darkest of black that they had ever been instead of her usual deep brown colour.

We raced through the forest letting our beast take control. We were deep into the forest when we came across the scent of humans and flowing blood. I sensed the change in the direction of Bella's thoughts but not only hers but also Jasper's and the others too. I forgot all my principles, my values, my beast had one thing in mind: blood.

Carlisle kept most control calling out to us to remember who we are...I came back to my senses and so did Esme, Alice, Rose and Emmet but Jasper and Bella heard nun of it for they were still the newest of us. The rest of us followed them, they speed forward faster.

We soon found ourselves at a little camping area. There a lady that must have been slicing vegetables had sliced open her hand and delicious blood oozed out.

There were five humans in total: two adults and three children. Bella and Jasper sensed that there was competition between them and they turned on each other. Jasper had no chance at winning this battle.

Bella through Jasper away from her pray and then Emmet tried to converge on her but up from the ground rose a several stone forms some were of giant lions or panthers and others were of giant wolves. The humans screamed and the father looked over to his wife just as his young children ran over to him and hid behind his quivering form. He cried out to his beloved wife but she was frozen in place as she looked into the face of her impending death and there was nothing anyone could do about it.

Bella pounced on the woman and they slammed down into the hard forest floor as the women let out a scream. Bella leaned down to her neck and bit down and sucked untill no blood remained.

Not even ten seconds had pasted untill she turn on the man with his children. She moved into a hunting crouch and sprang towards the four terrified humans.

We were all trying to fight of the massive stone creatures but there seemed to be no hope. Then I saw a gap and I broke through and ran towards Bella ready to hold her back but before I even got a chance to go anywhere near her, her head snapped in my direction and she let out a ferocious growl. She moved her hand in my direction as if pushing something away and then suddenly I was hit by her shield and thrown back into the dense bush land. Moments later I was back fighting of one of the stone creatures. Just before I had time to block the creatures attack the stone wolf bit down into my stone like shoulder. I managed to push the wolf back once again. I slammed my fist through its face but it did not good the stone formed the wolf's face once more and continued its attack.

As Bella went for the father he had picked up a thick branch ready to defend his children. As Bella came closer he swung the branch at her but she cached it easily in mid swing and tightened her grip on the wood and it smashed in to small splitters. She grabbed the man by his collar and then through him down to the grown and snapping his neck in while doing so.

I could hear the children's cries over the roars and growls of the stone beasts that I fort. The scared faces stained with tears that fell down their check at the sight of their parents' deaths. Once Bella was done with the father she moved to the three children; their cries ceased quickly as she snapped their necks. When they were all dead Bella got her senses back and the stone animals stopped fighting and became a part of the ground once more.

Bella fell to her knees and sobbed, "what have I done!" She looked down at her blood covered hands.

I ran over to her and wrapped my stone arms around her shacking body as she looked up to me; looking me in the eye with her blood red eyes that began to change back into her deep brown eyes. This time that I looked into her beautiful eyes I did not see any happiness. Her brown eyes were filled with over whelming pain, grief and so much self-loathing it broke my stone heart.

_'__What have I done...what have I done...what have I done...__'_she chanted in her mind.

"Shh my love. Everything is going to be ok..." I soothed to my beloved Bella as I rocked her back and forth.

"I'm a monster!" she cried in a broken whisper.

"We all make mistakes my love. We all slip. This is simply just the consequences sometime of the way we live."

"But they were innocent. They did not deserve to die. Let along die this way. I killed them all! I made three innocent children watch as I killed their parents... I killed them all! I'm a monster!" she wept. She would always remember the frightened faces of the children as they watch both their parents die.

As I comforted my beloved Bella the rest of the family set out and destroyed any evidences that remained of the accident and this unfortunate family. Then they set of home and Carlisle helped piece those of us that were hurt from the stone animals

Bella's emotions were running wild and the sky darkened as the rain begun to poor down. I held her for hours long after the others had cleared up after my Bella's accident.

Now no one would ever think that anyone was here in the first place. The family of five were now buried deep down within the earth so no one would find them anytime soon but that was a consequence of our slip ups. The friends and families of these five humans would suffer with the unknown fate of their friends and relatives.

But not only will they mourn the loss of these five humans that happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time Bella to will grieve for the also as she hurts over the nameless faces from a different life, faces that fort and tried to kill her, faces that never succeeded.

When we got home every one was fixed up and even though some of them got hurt on one held anything against her for most of us had slipped at least once. The only one that did hold anything against her was herself.

It had been about a month since that hunting trip and Bella spent most of her time in her room. I would stay with her when she wanted the company but when I knew she wished to be alone I would leave her be.

She was not getting any better and she wished to be alone more often and she would hide her thoughts from me. I tried to not worry about it but being me I still worried.

The Alice, Jasper, Rose and Emmet had gone south to hunt when I walked into Bella's room and she had just sat down on her bed and when she looked up to me there was something in her eyes but her mind was closed to me.

"What's wrong Bella?"

"I need to talk to you about something Edward."

"What is it?" I asked softly.

"Can we god for a run?"

"Of course my love"

We ran out of the house and into the bush land heading north. This run felt different from others that we had and for some reason I felt like something bad was going to happen and there was nothing that I could b=do to stop it and that good me on edge.

We stopped in a little clearing and Bella tuned to me and swallowed hard before she spoke, "I'm sorry Edward but I can't do this any more"

"What do you mean? We can get through this together. I'm always there for you."

"I killed them Edward!"

"We all slip Bella..."

"My slipping did not just kill one life but five! Five Edward! Three of them were just children! They did not get a chance to live their life Edward! I have to get away... please... please don't follow me."

"I can't do that."

"Please Edward, promise me that you won't follow me," she begged

"I can't live without you! You know that! Please!" I begged, pleading with her to stay.

"It might be you next. I could have killed Jasper when I fort him and I was only hours old. All my powers make me an even more of a threat to you. I could have killed you all and then it would have not just been five lives. It would have been even worse. If I get mad I could kill you. If I lose control again you and the others might not be so lucky next time. I could wipe out the whole family... I'm a monster Edward just let me go..."

"No I can't. Please," I begged.

She paused that lowered her head slightly then said, "Don't make me do this Edward; I can't keep lying to you. I can't do it anymore"

"I don't understand. What have you been lying to me about?"

"I don't love you Edward."

My mind just went blank; I felt my legs give out and I was on my knees looking up at my Bella. No not my Bella. She can't be mine and I knew it all along, "what? You don't...lo...love me?" my voice cracked at the end. My whole world seemed to be crumbling all around me and there was nothing I could do about it. I knew something bad was going to happen and this was it.

"I... I used to but it was never really love...the only love I can feel for you is a love towards a brother but that's all. I'm sorry I lied to you."

"Why did you not tell me earlier?"

"I did not want to hurt you. I thought that maybe I could grow to love you eventually but it's just not working. Please Edward just let me go."

"We can work through this Bella," my voice barely came out as an agonized whisper. Though I tried to hold back any of my emotions but in the end it leaked out anyway.

"No we can't Edward it would just hurt you more."

"I would be fine Bella... What about the others. They would miss you so much..." I was grasping at straws saying anything that would make her stay if just to see her even if she was just out of my reach.

"Please Edward just let me go," she said using the full force of her beautiful eyes and I caved bowing my head. She may not be mine but I will all ways be hers and she can do as she pleases with me.

"Ok," it came out with on emotion.

I was not looking at her face to see her reaction and she was not allowing me into her mind.

"Thank you," she whispered raising my head and placing a light kiss on my forehead. "Promise me something."

"Anything"

"Forget about me,"

How could I ever forget her?

"That is a promise I cannot keep."

"Good bye Edward."

Then she was gone. Everything just seemed to crumble around me. I rose and charged forward to just run in her direction but two great stone lions rose up from the ground blocking my path and then slamming me down, and pinned me to the ground. I just could not find the energy to fight them off for the thing that I would be fighting would be my beloved. For the thoughts and being behind these stone creatures was Bella. I can't fight Bella and I can't fight her against what she wants.

I lay there on the wet muddy ground as the rain continued to fall even harder. The water slid down my face like tears that I myself could never form. Moments or it could have been hours that past till the great lions finally moved they massive bodies slowly backing away but I court a look at their faces and their expressions mirrored my own; reflecting my own pain and then they disappeared into the ground once again. I was alone... so utterly alone. I would rather go throw the change a thousand times over if not to make this agony to cease.

I don't know how long it had been until I heard the calls of my family though I said nothing; I could not bear to hear all the pain that would shoaly be heard in my voice.

"Edward? Edward where are you?"

"Edward? Say something!"

The voices called but I could not be bothered to distinguish whose they were. It was just noise nothing that got through the agony.

"Carlisle! I found him!" The voice was close and I heard the thumbing of feet so that must have been Emmet. His arms lifted up my form but not that I cared much. He ran over to where Carlisle was.

"Edward? What happened? Where's Bella?" When Carlisle spoke her name I groaned then my body shook with sobs. "What do you mean she gone Edward?"

Was I saying that out loud? I guess I was. I felt Emmet put me down and another pair of arms; they were thinner, more feminine. It was Esme. She wrapped her arms around me like one would to comfort a crying child and trying to lure the child into the safety of slumber; to be away from the pain. How I long for such a thing that could never come.

The rain continued even if my body stopped shaking and still the rain flowed down my stone face like tears. And still my family tried to comfort me. I grew silent unmoving; hard as stone like the ground, like my un-beating heart. Sometime they had all moved to the house and now I was in my room. I started shaking again but no sound came from my mouth. There was too many memories in here, so many beautiful memories of her and I.

I tried to closes my eyes but then I saw her. Her hard eyes, her beautiful lips that moved with every torturing word, her hair that was dampened in the rain, her pale skin as water droplets streamed down her beautiful face, the curves of her body as she instinctively moved. I remembered every thing about her and I went over that moment over and over again. I found myself moving into her room and laying down on her bed just bathing in her magnificent scent.

As time went on I never left her room. I never hunted; I just did not find the will to; it was just too hard. I hear the others thoughts as they go around the house. Rosalie blames her for making me this way; though I don't blame her I could never blame her. Emmet like all the others don't understand way she left and they blame themselves, but the one that should be blamed is me. For I'm the one that brought her into this retched existence; for if I had not been so selfish then she would have been at peace but I had to take that away from her, that and her soul and so I forced her into a life of constant burning and thirst. Yes it is all my fault and I deserve this agony that I placed on myself. For this is my punishment for taking away her soul. Only I am at fault here, just me.

Alone...

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**Is Edward going to go and find bella or is he going to do as she asked and stay away? tell me what you think. **

**And thank you for reading i hope you liked it**

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	15. Chapter 15: With Out Her

Chapter15: Without her

The way that I felt it seemed that decades had passed with each agonizing moment taking years to go past but I knew better. It had been four months twelve day seven hours forty five minutes and twenty seconds...twenty two seconds and counting.

My family were all really worried telling me that I should hunt more often. So just to get out of the house I went hunting alone. As I had told them and so they kept their distance doing what they usually do.

As I ran I changed cores and headed into town. I just had to do something and this sounded the best. It was not at all logical I just wanted...well I don't really know what I wanted but I did it anyway because I did not know what else to do and did not know who to turn to so that is why I found myself here.

I thought that I would never go to such a place in my existence again; for I am nothing but a soulless demon and not fit for such a place as this and yet here I am kneeling at one of the smooth varnished wooden pews of the little church. I looked up to the wooden cross that was place at the front of the church. I set my elbows on the pew in front of me and clasped my hands together, bowing my head.

I spoke barely above a whisper. "I...I don't really know how to do this but I just have to do something and somehow this seemed to be the best thing that I could think of...

"I don't know what to do any more. All I ever think about was that moment when she left. So many times I have l craved to find her but I must keep her wishes and stay away but I don't think I have the strength to not follow her." I bowed my head further.

"Every thing just feels wrong...So very wrong without her... When I was with her every thing was perfect...Well it felt perfect but I guess I was wrong...I can't get her out of my head. It's all my fault...if I made her hunt earlier then she would not have slipped...she would not have felt responsible...if I kept my feelings to myself then...then she would have never had been put into a situation where she tried to feel love for me...she would have staid...she would have staid." My body started to quiver.

I just felt like I wanted to shout and blame God for everything. Blame Him for letting her get enslaved in the first place then letting her get sick then having to end up in a hospital were a vampire would be caring for then realising his in love with her. I wanted to blame Him for the pain she felt, to blame Him for having a bunch of humans in the area where we were hunting and letting one of them cut themselves drawing us in. I wanted to blame God for every thing.

I wanted to shout and yell...but I know that bad things happen to good people. It's no one's fault it's just what happens sometimes and B...Bella just happen to be someone who has bad things happen to her; a lot of bad things happen to her. This is just the world we live in; it's not fair, it never is and there's nothing that I could ever do about it. You can simply look at my family to know that life has never been fair.

Carlisle was turned into something that his father hunted and despised and something his father made he himself hunt.

Esme was beaten by her human husband and then ran away once she found out that she was pregnant, not wanting her child to grow up in an abusive environment, then a few day after the child being born died of a lung infection. She had nothing to live for any more.

Rosalie was raped by her fiancé and his friends and then when she was turned she lost the one thing that she wanted to have...a child and all her dreams came crashing down.

Emmet was attacked by a bear and almost was killed even though he does not care anymore being such an easy going person that he is.

Jasper was taken away from his human life when simply trying to help someone. Then forced into a war and world that he never knew existed and in the end took a great toll on him.

And Alice had every memory stripped from her of human past and only finding later that she was placed in an acclaim for the visions that she had as a human because the other humans did not understand them.

My family knows how unfair this cruel world can be; though in the end they were lucky in finding their mates. In finding a family that they can rely on no matter what would happen that they would be there for you.

Even if you feel like there is nothing left for you and there is no one to turn to. They will always be there for you even if you don't know it at the time.

I only have my family now like I had before I met Bella but I will never be whole, never be the same again. I will always crave her presents and I know that I can never get over her. I will always remember the last moments before she turned away and left asking me to not follow her to not go and find her again. I will always remember the one last kiss that she gave me. How her soft lips felt as the lightly touched my forehead in a last good bye. I will always remember the two lions that rose up from the ground pinning me to the muddy ground. I will remember the last look before the lions disappeared into the ground once again. The look on their stone faces was one that on real animal could ever create such a type of representation of such anguish and pure pain as shown of these creatures' faces giving a perfect interpretation of the way I felt reflecting the agony that I endured.

Here, in this small little church, I thought of something. What if the stone beasts were not reflecting my pain but hers? Could she really have felt something towards me? But how can I think such a thing for I for I am not worthy of such a perfect angle like Bella, No that was not possible; it can't be. She can't love me can she?

Suddenly I heard thoughts that had just entered the church. I looked up to see a young girl not yet out of her teens; she would have been about sixteen or seventeen. She had tears streaming down her lightly tanned face. Her eyes were piercing blue and it was as if with one look she could see right through you into your soul. She a long blond hair that came down to her waist; she would have been extremely thin if not for the large bulge that came from her stomach. She looked very fragile like you could snap her in half with just a touch.

_'__I lost him...I can__'__t believe I lost him...and now I have nowhere to go... I can__'__t go home they would just throw me out again and I can__'__t live with that...__'_

She looked over to me and stopped abruptly. "Sorry I'll leave..." she said as she was about to turn away.

"No. A church is not just a place for one it's a place for all."

"Thanks." '_he looks so sad._' She sat down on the pew next to me, "I'm Lara. Lara White"

"I'm Edward Cullen." We sat in silence then I asked, "Are you ok?" Okay so it was a stupid question to be asking a girl who was defiantly NOT all right as shown by the tears streaming down her sad face.

"No," she said truthfully, "My boyfriend...he...he was k...killed in a car accident..." She started sobbing at that. I held my breath to stop from attacking her even though the burning in my through was just a dull ac compared to the hole that was ripped into my chest that she left when she went away. I patted the girl, Lara on the back then she moved closer to me and wrapped her arms around me and sobbed so I wrapped my arms around her to simply comfort the girl.

"I'm sorry for you loss..." I said quietly to her.

"We were going to get marred when I turn eighteen...we ran away together when we found out that I was pregnant and I did not want to abort the baby but we could not let our parents know...so we ran away. We both got jobs to get some income...for the baby.

"But last week he got in a car accident and...they couldn't...save him. I have nowhere to go because I can't go home. My parents would be ashamed of me..." She pulled away and wrapped her arms around herself.

"How do you know?"

"Well if your daughter came home after running away and came back pregnant what would you do?"

"Hypothetically saying I would not be ashamed of my daughter. I would be disappointed that she got her self pregnant when I would have thought that I brought her up better. I would help her though. We all make mistakes and we can't change the past. We can only try and make the future better."

"You talk like it's from experience."

"I've made my fair of mistakes and things that I regret and one of the regrets is why I'm here."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"I fell in love with my best friend and we got together and I thought that she loved me like I loved her but...she made some mistakes and we grow apart. She was taking it really hard and she told me that she never loved me...but now I'm just not so sure. She does not think very highly of herself and she does not want to hurt my family or me. So she left..."

"Do you think she loves you?"

"I think I'm starting to think that she just might..."

"Then go after her. If there is a chance of getting her back then get her back and fight...fight with all that you have before you can't get her back. Before she gone completely and you want every get her back."

"Thank you," I said looking down at her, "you should go home. You won't know if your parents accept what has happened if you don't if you don't go home."

"I don't know...I don't want to go alone...could you go with me? I know we only just met and all. It's just that I feel like you understand and well you're the only friend in the world that I have at the moment..." she said looking down at her hands.

"All right; I help you." I was about to pick up my phone and get Alice to bring the car but I heard Alice's thoughts.

_'__I thought you might need your car. It__'__s out front. I__'__m glad that you__'__re finally doing something and helping someone out is quite nice of you__'_

I could hear the smile in her thoughts as she ran back home.

I got up from the pew and looked down to the seated girl how unknowingly just might have saved me a lot of long lasting pain and said, "So where about is it that you need me to take you?"

"They live in Clarence town it's just south of Dungog. Do you know the way? "

"Yeah I know the way all right; come on," I said beckoning her to follow me out of the church. She picked up her duffle bag and then followed me out.

We walked out and to my Audi A7 and got in. I drove all the way to Clarence town mostly in comfortable silence but sometimes we would start a conversation.

I really don't know why I agreed to take this Lara White home with only knowing her not even an hour but it just seemed the right thing to do. Anything could happen to a young girl of the streets and being pregnant makes her even more vulnerable.

I drove to the house that Lara said was her parents and pulled into the drive way. I heard the thoughts inside the house as they moved around and there was movement of the curtains.

_'__Who__'__s out there? I__'__ve never seen that car before...__'_

_'__Are we having guests? David did not tell me about having any guests though...__'_

On the way to Clarence town Lara told me a pit about her parents David and Rachel White just as I told her a very small part about my family so this must mean that the White's still lived here.

"I'll help you out, "I said getting out of the car and opening her door for her and helping Lara out. The moment I closed the car door Mrs White was running out to greet her long lost daughter.

"Lara! Lara your back!" Mrs. White had tears running down her face as she hugged her daughter.

"Mum! I've missed you."

Then Mr. White came out he saw his daughters pregnant form and then saw me standing of to the side leaning against my car and getting the wrong idea.

"I'm sorry mum I should not have ran away but I was scared. I didn't want to lose the baby but you and dad would not have approved and I was afraid that you both would reject me."

"Lara who is this?" Mr. White said looking over to me. _'__if he is not the father and she got pregnant when she was here then who is he?__'_

"This is Edward. He convinced me to come home...I met him at a church after..." Lara was trying to keep it together. "Sam passed away in...a car accident..." she choked out and cried into her mother's shoulder.

"Sam Anderson? I sorry honey but you could have told us you know. We would not have been happy about the choices that you've made but we would much rather you be here with us..."

Mr. White came over to me, "thank you for bringing my girl home."

"There is no need to thank me sir. Lara helped me realise something too," he looked at me with question in his eyes and thoughts but was not going to push the subject, "I should be going."

"By Edward I hope you find her and get her back," Lara said to me while clinging onto her mother for support.

I opened my car door and got in and drove all the way back home. Leavening my car and then once more running into the Australian bush land to hunt. Then when I got home my eyes showing that I had hunted I walked into the living room where everyone was spread out some were in the room and said, "I'm going to find her."

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**HHHHHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOO! **

**what will his family say?...**

**will he be able to find her?...**

** what will happen if or when he finds her?...**

** and the big question will she come back to him?**

**what do you think...?**

**do you have any questions I'll be happy to answer them for you...  
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**and thank you for reading i hope you liked it**

** thank you ****angelplusbuffyequals4ever **** for you review and thank you, thank you, thank you again. i really love it when people review it just makes day! so thank you!**

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	16. Chapter 16:Memories of Bella part 1

Chapter 16: Memories of Bella part 1

**_Previously _**

**_I opened my car door and got in and drove all the way back home. Leavening my car and then once more running into the Australian bush land to hunt. Then when I got home my eyes showing that I had hunted I walked into the living room where everyone was spread out some were in the room and said, "I_****_'_****_m going to find her."_**

"Your _what_?" Rose hissed at me from her seat next to Emmett. Emmett was trying to calm her down but she shook him of and continued. "She _left_ you! She doesn't't _want _you anymore."

"YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT SHE WANTS!" I growled making everyone flinch and tense up as I continued. "You don't really know her Rosalie. You weren't the one that she would come to with her problems, you weren't the one that she told her cruel past to, you weren't the one that held her when she cried because she had a nightmare, you weren't the one that would do anything for her, you weren't the one that she told all her secrets and feelings that were hidden deep down to, you weren't the one that could see though tuff outer shell to see how truly how vulnerable she really was. Rosalie, you don't know."

"Then why is it that for months you thought that she did not love you if you know her so well?"

"Because I don't deserve her," I said simply looking her straight in the eye. She held my gaze for only moments before turned her gaze away. She knew how I felt about myself; they all did and no one really like it when someone brought up the whole self loathing thing that at one point we all felt and some of us still feel that loathing and that's why she did not question me any further. I knew that she was against me running off to find Bella because she did not want me to get hurt further then I all ready was. Though, she tried to not let anyone know such a thing.

The relationship between Rose and I is different than the others because even though the atmosphere can be tens around us we are still family and though we might want to yell and scream at each other at any given moment we will all ways be there for each other. We will all ways help each other even when we don't agree on what they want. We were all like that; we would do anything for each other even if it sound or even was; crazy and bizarre or just plain downright dangerous we would do it anyway because we are family and when one of us is in it then all of us is too.

"Fine! How is it going to work?" Rose asked looking around at every one then laying her eyes on Carlisle. Now all of us had our eye trained on Carlisle to find his answer.

All was quiet for a moment as Carlisle thought though a plane and then he spoke. "We'll split up. Alice, Jasper, Rose and Emmett you will be together and the Esme, Edward and I will be together." He turned to Alice. "Can you search her future and find what area she is in?"

Alice went motionless looking into Bella's future but her future seemed to keep changing. "All I know is that her future is changing from places in Europe and then as far as Asia. She's not really making any decisions but I know she's some were in Europe at the moment."

"Well Edward, Esme and I will first go to England and see were that takes us. Alice, Jasper, Rose and Em you start in Spain and then see were that takes you if it leads you to a dead end contact us and we will discuss what we will do next."

Every one nodded and went to get ready. Personally I would have left right now but Alice glared at me and dragged me up the winding stairs all the way up to my room and told me to "sit and be good," were her exact words because I went to help her but I was just putting clothes into the suit case not really caring want I had in my hands and then Alice ripped the pieces of clothing from my hands and took every thing I had put into the suit case out, so I sat on my lounge and watched as she zoomed around the room putting clothes among other things into a suit case, seeing as we were going to book into a hotel when we get to England and then leave out things there and travel around the country only coming back when we need to.

I watched as she pulled out random things from the draws and the wardrobe. As Alice pulled out my flip-flops from the cupboard I remembered the time were Bella was walking around looking for something and in her hand was one flip-flop. It was only a few weeks after Bella had been changed.

Her beautiful face was in a deep frown with frustration as she kept searching. Finally she huffed and came into the family room where Alice was on the couch flipping through a fashion magazine and I was on the other couch reading a book.

Bella came in and asked Alice. "Alice have you seen my other thong?"

Alice's eyebrows rose up nearly touching her hair line with her mouth slightly a jarred. "I didn't know you were into THAT type of thing Bella?" she chuckled.

Bella's frown deepened and she looked at Alice strangely like she was talking nonsense but I knew what Bella was talking about. The talent to read minds can be quite helpful but I kept my mouth shut and tried not to laugh. Bella filed through what Alice was thinking and she too raised her eyebrows higher and her eye went wider as well and then she rolled her eyes, sighing.

"Alice I was talking about the other one of these," Bella said holding up her thong/flip-flop.

"Oh a flip-flop"

"A what?" Bella said raising an eyebrow at her.

"A. Flip. Flop" Alice said slowly like Bella did not understand a word of English.

"There thongs," Bella said a matter factually.

"Flip-flops," Alice persisted.

"Alice which country are you in?"

"Australia. Why?"

"Has an one maybe looked at you funny like they don't know what you are saying? You know when you go shopping or something?"

"Maybe..." Alice trailed off

"Well you'll have to learn the right names for things in Australia so people know what you want."

"What! Why? I..." she was about to continue when I interrupted.

"Why don't you both teach each other? I am sure that Bella will have to learn some of the differences between the American language and the Australian language when we go to America," I said and so that is what they did going around the house pulling out random thing and say the names and I would hear things such as...

"Rubber"..."Eraser," coming from the study

"Plain flour"... "All purpose flour" and "tomato sauce"..."ketchup," coming from the pantry cupboard in the kitchen

"Jam" ... "jelly" and "Jelly" ... "jello" coming from the fridge

"Rubbish bin" ... "garbage can," and among other things as they pranced around the house laughing as they went; teaching each other the different names for the same thing.

I came back to the present and Alice was still packing so I must have only phased out for only a moment.

Memories of her came once more as Alice pulled out different pieces of clothing. She pulled out a black hoody and I remembered the time when Bella and I had gone to our little spot by the cliffs. We had gone out the night be for and I held her as she slept under the stars. The great expanse of the bright lights that were skated across the blackened sky was beautifully breath tacking yet still paled in comparison to the angel that had slept in my undeserving arms. I watched the dying fire as the burning wood soon became hot coals. The light from the fire danced across Bella's beautiful pale face as she dreamed with a small smile across her lovely lips. I drew her in closer to me as she slept and as the night progress.

Her dreams were peacefully happy but it did not stay for long. A dark shadow crept around at the edges; darkening her dreams. I could not see the shadow's face and Bella was becoming tense. I was going to wake her when suddenly the shadow leapt towards her and the face was revealed...

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	17. Chapter 17:Memories of Bella part 2

Chapter 17: Memories of Bella part 2

**_Previously... _**

**_... Her dreams were peacefully happy but it did not stay for long. A dark shadow crept around at the edges, darkening her dreams. I could not see the shadow's face and Bella was becoming tense. I was going to wake her when suddenly the shadow leapt towards her and the face was revealed..._**

_Her skin was as pale white as ours like she has never seen the light of day but at the same time there was a light natural tan and her face was covered with scars etched into the soft service of her flesh. Her eyes were the darkest of brown almost black and the look in her eyes was hard and deadly like two black holes glaring deep into your soul as they ripping it apart. Her hair was long and straight, its colour blacker than then darkest of the darkest night. Her slender form was covered in black cloth. Long sharp claw like nails were attached to her long slander fingers as they curled around in to a claw shape. _

_She looked as though she was more animal than human as she moved as a predator would when stalking its prey..._

Before I knew it Bella had been shocked awake and breathing heavily. I wrapped my arms around her and brought her closer to me.

"Shh, love it was a dream. It's over now," I whispered soothingly into her ear. For some reason, even in the comfort that I gave her that always calmed her down, she still shook from fear. "Bella? Do you want to talk about it?" I asked softly in her ear. It was almost hesitant as I spoke the words.

I could see she had for some reason a fear to remember though it was true that she hated remembering that part of her life. She hate what she was, she hated what she had to do and sometime she had to just let all of her frustration and anger out by simply yelling and I would listen to all her anger as she let it out on me even though it was directed back at her. I did not mind; it helped to not bottle the fury up inside and I know that from experience. Carlisle had unfortunately been in my line of fire when I had to let it all out.

She looked into my eyes and sighed nodding her head; she said nothing so I asked, "Who was she?"

"They called her Keres after the Greek goddess of violent death. She was born into slavery because her mother had been kidnapped in her Greek home town and sold her to slave traders. From what I had heard from people who knew her she was a wonderful lady, she was kind and protective. She would help all that she met but things changed when she died. They trained Keres from birth to kill. Her mother died in child birth so she did not know the love of a mother. Maybe if she did things would have been different. She was angry at the world for taking the only family that she had and she also blamed herself for her mother's death so she would take all her hate and anger out on her victims. She liked to make her victims suffer and that's where she got her name Keres."

"So was she a war dancer like you were?" I asked.

"Yeah. Every country has had at least had one at one time or another and when a master has one they have the ability to take out any of his opponents. Though it's very rare to even hear about the 'war dancers' but they have been around for centuries; some better than others. Some masters would do anything to get one or even more than one. They were greedy but having more than one is dangers. It's like putting two fighting fish into the same tank... ones going to end up died and it's very rare that the war dancers would get along with each other but I have heard of a case where that happened and they became best friends and where a perfect team but they were only as good as each other because in the end there friendship was their weakness and they died for it. Even those who are not war dancers but are close to them are at risk..." She breathed in a shaky breath and her eyes began to tear-up.

"That's what happened to you, wasn't it?" It wasn't a question. I could see it in her mind the faces of all those that had helped her through some of the hardest times of her life. The older ladies and some of the younger girls I saw their living faces and then the faces shifted into something much more gruesome.

The mangled faces and bodies of innocent humans that littered the ground. Every friend Bella ever had, they had been painfully tortured to death. None of these faces resembled the one that had been alive with a smile on their lightly tanned faces, eyes alight with happiness or darkened with sorrow but at least they were not emotionless as they now were. Before they had their lives but now they are no more, ceasing to exist in this world.

If I were human I would have brought up the contents of my stomach at the horror. I wished that I could take it all away, I longed to end the pain that she feels because of her past, I longed to end her grief and her guilt.

I pulled her tighter to me as she let out a sob. She always tried to be strong and brave; to always have a smile on her face and forget about her past when she was with the others but she did not have to do that with me because I would know anyway even if I could not read her mind I would still know.

"She killed then all." I said.

"Yeah...her master, who was my second master found out about me and he wanted another war dancer but my first master would not sell me so he sent her to kill him and she killed everything that would hold me back. My new master came for me saying that I was now his and I would obey him. And I did. For some reason my mind had been twisted around I did not know what was really happening but I was trained to obey and if he was my new master then there was nothing that I could do about it. I was not going to run away. Not again. He was worse than my first master.

"He sold weapons and drugs to the highest bidder, travelling all over the world. If he did not get what he wanted he would simply kill them then steal what he wanted. I was simply a game piece, something to do his bidding but he wanted someone who was the best and someone that would never turn their loyalty away from him. He wanted a puppet that he could make it do anything he wanted and not get court and that is what he got.

"He would move around a lot because of his 'business' and he liked to have his little puppets close by. The fact that Keres and I wanted to rip each other's throats out every single moment that we were together did not bother him. He found it rather humorous. But we would do what ever his said without question no matter what. She felt threatened and so she hated me for coming into her life and so I retaliated her hate with that same haltered.

"We would always try and be better than each other in every assignment that our master gave us. Master had a disagreement with two of his associates and he wanted us to 'deal' with them. We were given one each and so we hunted them down. It was night when we chose to kill them. I did not need much time to kill because I preferred to be quick and precise, leaving no evidence when it came to things such as this but Keres took longer...leaving more of a mess, though she could clean it up fast; but if someone happened to come across her killing and she did not find them before they got to the government...she could reveal all of us she was a liability.

"We continued the same way until she had had enough. We were at the master's home that was in Greece; he liked that region. I was up in my room. I was..." She paused trying to remember the details. "I was looking at the gold clothing that I wore in India. I had not worn it a lot since I was taken to my new master. He let me keep it and he would even get me to wear it sometimes but most of the time I would wear the clothes that he gave me...she came in. I knew she was there the moment she came in even though she was quieter then a mouse. She attacked me and I fought back. We could fight for hours if we wanted to but this time it was different it was not just to entertain and stop when the other was down this time it was to the death. One of us was not going to survive, the other would fall and the other rise in victory. No one got in our way as we moved from my room going deeper into our mater's house. Usually I would have aimed for the quick and precise death but I was filled with rage... I wanted her to die slowly, painfully, just like what she did to my friends. I wanted to torture her to death and I almost did. She was on the ground beneath me I knew she could not fight back she was too weak. I saw it in her eyes. For the first time I sort it...regret...guilt...pain and... fear. The look on her face was not of a monster but a lost girl and somehow for just in those few moments I became myself...my true self the one before all this happened, the one that was forgiving, the one cared about everyone no matter who they were or what they did...I took pity on her and gave her the mercy that she had given to no one. I sat next to her and brought her into my arms and sat with her for the last moments of her short life. She brought down all her walls, everything that surrounded her heart and she told me how sorry she was. Her last words were 'forgive me?' I had a feeling that it was not just for the death of my friend but for every thing; every time she hurt someone, every time she took another life. She wanted forgiveness and I forgave her. The change was so very significant when I said those words it was like the world had been lifted of her shoulders and in the first time that I had ever seen her she smiled, not a crude smile but a genuine smile. A tear ran down her face as she breathed her last breath. It was a tear of joy...of relief."

Bella had looked to me as the sun began to rise and said, "She was not a monster in the end. She was just misguided and lost in a world full of pain and hatred, a world that knew no mercy."

We had watched the sun rise in each other's arms. Another part of her life was revealed. Another part of her past that she can put behind her.

I was brought back to the present by Alice zipping up the suitcase. She looked up to me smirking. "I was wondering when you were going to come back to us...you were gone for a moment."

"Just remembering the past," I said looking up at her as she stood next to me.

"Remembering about Bella?" I did not flinch anymore for soon enough I would be with my love once more and I want let her go again.

"Yeah"

"Come on we best be going down stairs we have to get to the airport so we don't miss the planes."

"Tell me why it is that we just don't get a privet jet?"

"I don't know. I guess it just never came up."

"Well the next time we go to move we have to get our own jet."

Alice's bell like laughter filled the hall way as we move down stairs.

"You sounded like Emmet or Jasper. It seems that you're getting back to normal Mr. Cullen," Alice mused.

"I going to find my soul once again," I said smiling down at her.

She paused for an instant and her face grows into a huge grin.

Many things have happened in each of our lives but no matter what we stand by each other and no matter what may come in the future we will be together.

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	18. Chapter 18: In Search of One's Mate

**Sorry that i have not updated in a while! really sorry! the next chapter might be with in a month and i will try to get it up as soon as i can! thanks to every one who has added me to their favorites, story/author alerts and reviewed it is all so wonderful that you like reading my story and i will even go back and fix up the mistakes in previous chapters. thank you all of you for baring with me! **

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Chapter 18: In Search of One's Mate

We went our separate ways in the airport long after the sun had set. The journey from Australia to England past in a blur as I looked out the dark starry sky through the plane's window as the land, then the ocean past beneath us. When the sun began to rise, I regrettably slid the window closed to prevent the suns light touch my icy skin. When we landed in London's airport, the day was overcast and was threatening to rain so we could walk through London to where the hotel was.

As we went to put all our things in the hotel room when we got to the hotel I looked around the luxurious and beautiful lobby of the Hilton London Canary Wharf hotel near the London City Airport. Even though we knew that we could simply go to any hotel that could have even been some cheep rundown place that would only cost a small amount of money even if we many have more than enough money because we would only be there a few times in our stay in England but we still decided to go with the security of the hotel for our things and the fact that Alice had made the reservation for our first stop in finding Bella.

Carlisle had made some close acquaintances here in England and we were going to see one of them. Alistair was his name. He was a nomad and preferred to be alone hiding away in dusty old attics along the county side and only going out at night to hunt then once more retreating back into his dark hideaway.

We left the hotel and headed out of the city to the forest to begin our search for Alistair. He was in the southern section of England in a little unknown town deep within the country.

It was dark as the sun had set and we were hunting in the forest when we came across Alistair coming back from his hunt when he spotted us. He was hesitant as he approached but when he saw Carlisle he smiled and came closer.

"What brings you to England, Carlisle?" Alistair mussed.

"We are in search for one of our family members," Carlisle stated

"Oh? Why is that?" Alistair enquired tilting his head to the side.

"Well you see there was an accident and she could not handle it so she left," Carlisle said.

"Well is that not her decision?" Alistair asked a small crease forming between his eyebrows.

"Yes, but you see..."

"She is my mate," I said, interrupting Carlisle.

"Ah well that will explains it then." Alistair mused, looking toward me.

I pulled out her picture and asked, "So, have you seen her?"

He looked at it for a moment and then looked up to us; I saw her beautiful face in his mind and I inwardly cringed at the pain and somehow emptiness in her brown eyes, "Yes I did come across her. I saw her hunting your way... Feeding from an animal yet she looked like us with her skin but her eyes were brown like a human's. I was not sure what to make of it..." Alistair said deep in thought. The small frown was back in place between his eyebrows.

"Did you speak to her?" I asked.

"Yes, when I saw her I was reminded of Carlisle. And I was intrigued by her. I talked with her for a little. She was quite easy to talk to. Well, she did not say much but what she did say intrigued me even more."

I listened intently as he spoke of my Bella.

"She said 'I left the love I don't deserve' and she said that she wanted to get away for a bit. I could tell she was lonely and I was not much for company so I suggested she go up north to one of my old friends that I had met in my travels. They are a loving yet simple pair for vampires. They live in the forest in a little cottage. She headed north and I guess she might have met them."

"Thank you, Alistair," Carlisle smiled

"Not a problem, Carlisle" he said with a friendly smile.

We said our goodbyes and headed north. I picked up a faint and slightly stale scent of Bella and so I knew we were going the right direction. Heading north we ran by cities and towns that knew nothing of the danger that sped past their small insignificant lives so consumed by their so called lives paying no attention of what goes on around them outside of their little community.

Only a few really pay attention to things that are harming others, though there are times were such things become real for them and they pay attention because as things of the likes of natural disasters, wars, famines, disease, and so many other things that come about in their community but how often do they pay attention to these such disastrous things out side of their own society...though I must confess that I had not always paid attention to these horrifying events; but being a Cullen we help the humans when we can giving any and all resources that we have developed over the many years that we have existed unlike many of the vampires which simply see humans as food and even if thousands die simply say that they would have died any way one way or another. Simple blood bags ready for the taking. They say such things yet they themselves were once humans too.

As I ran I looked from the outside in on a small town that we passed and it looked just like every other town that I had seen in all my years on this beautifully tragic earth. Yes, there were differences but they were all the same all so similar with their little quarrels and each human's little piece of perfection however so small yet so different.

Passing towns, villages, castles, cities and every thing in between as we followed Bella's sent. We soon reached the little cottage in the forest. It was a simple beauty the old wood held strong as the wind blew harshly against the ancient timber, vines grew up the side of the cottage's walls and wrapped it's long skeletal like branches around the aged wood of the columns that held the roof up for the deck that stretched out in front of the little cottage.

Two pale figures stepped out of the cottage; one of a man and the other of a woman; their thoughts differed greatly. The woman's of innocently having guests and the man's of if we were going to be a threat to his mate.

Looking into their minds I found that they were gifted though they were not exceptionally powerful gifts they were still gifts nun the less.

The woman had a gift of healing though she was not as powerful as other healers she could only heal as deep as the suffice layer.

The man was like one of our other friends could tell when someone was lying to them or not.

Carlisle stepped forward holding his hands out. "We mean you no harm. We come in peace."

As he said that, the female looked to her mate to see if Carlisle was lying. The man gave a slight nod indicating that Carlisle was speaking the truth and the couple smiled at us and beckoning us to come forward.

Man shook hands with Carlisle saying, "I am David, and this is my mate, Rachel."

Rachel smiled up at us kindly.

"I am Carlisle Cullen, and this is my mate, Esme, and my son, Edward," Carlisle said gesturing to Esme and I.

"I have heard of a Cullen but that is only in legends. If you are the Cullen's then you feed from animal blood, yes?"

"Yes, we drink of the blood of animals," Carlisle said, nodding.

"So, what brings you here Cullens?" David asked, looking at the three of us.

"We believe that my son's mate came through here," Carlisle stated.

"We had a young girl come here to us. The poor dear was so sad she looked so lost," Rachel said, speaking for the first time. "Much like you dear..." She looked at me sympathetically. I tried to smile but it came out as a grimace instead.

"She stayed for a few days before moving on. She was like you drinking from animals but different from any other vampire I have ever met."

"_She_ is certainly a special one," I said, yet it was barley a whisper.

"How long ago was she here?" asked Esme

"A few months ago; she only stayed with us a few days a week at the most," David answered.

"Do you know where _she_ went to?" I inquired

"She said she was going to travel to France for a bit," David said.

"She did not say much and even less about the way she lived with feeding off animals; would you tell us about how you live? We grow tired of taking the lives of humans," Rachel urged, her red eyes pleading with Carlisle to tell them what he knows.

Carlisle smiled and nodded. "Of course...what is it that you wish to know?"

"Why don't we go inside...?" Rachel said and so we all moved into the cottage. Then Carlisle went on to explain our life style starting from the beginning of when he himself became a vampire.

Though I wished that we would have moved along when we first found out where Bella went next after England, I knew that Carlisle wanted to help this kind pair of vampires so I did not make a comment on staying even if I wished to keep on moving.

When Carlisle had finished his explanation David looked down to his mate Rachel then back up to us, "thank you for telling us your story. I'm sure you are wondering of how we became vampires?"

Esme gave a slight and timid nod as she smiled at the couple and so David started his story.

"It began in the late 12th century. As a human I was of noble blood and as of that I was a knight. Richard I the Lion-Hearted King of England urged my father to come with him on the third crusade. My father was getting on in his age so I went in his place as his eldest son and so with the army of my father I went like all the other noble knights and lords together with King Richard I. With any battles that had any enemy capture I was one of the nobles who helped get information. I had a keen sense of being able to tell if they were lying or not so with the information that I was able to get the king he became very pleased with what I had accomplished but during the later of the battles to secured several of the key coastal cities from Saladin who led the Muslim and Arab opposition. I had gotten injured and I was slowly dying from blood lose when they found me," His eyes glazed over as he remembered the fuzzy human memory from so long ago.

"They were beautiful," he continued. "I thought that they were two angles come to take me to heaven but they were no such thing and were defiantly not going to take me of to heaven. I felt the fire for three days as the two beautiful women sat next to me in the deep forest. I thought that they had condemned me to hell. When I woke up from the pain they told me what I had become. I lived with them for a time but they were looking for mates and wanting to make me one of theirs but it did not work out. I moved on and wondered the known world and even the unknown world for hundreds of years. I travelled alone and watch from the shadows as the world passed by. Wars came and went, the unknown world became known, I watched as the worlds knowledge grow and progressed, centuries passed by and still I was alone. But in World War II I met her," he said, smiling lovingly down at his mate, giving her hand a light squeeze.

"She was a nurse looking after wounded soldiers in a front line hospital. I watched her from afar like I did with every thing else that I was...intrigued with but I had never really payed much attention to any one person but she was so gentle and caring. I'm sure that the other nurses were like that but she was the one that captured my eye and my heart. I tried to make sure that she could be as safe as possible without anyone knowing especially her. I could not take away her young life when she had so much to live but the hospital was attacked and I could do nothing. The building was crumbling in front of me, fire engulfed the hospital. I could hear panicked screams and yells from the humans inside but one voice I hear clear as day."

"Rachel was trying to get some of the patients out of the building but what was left of the roof collapsed on top of them. I ran in there not caring about the fire and I was so relieved to find her alive, the others were not so lucky. I took her out into the forest. She was dying and I could not lose her so... I changed her."

Rachel continued, giving her mate a shy smile. "When I woke up he told me what happened and what I had become...at first I despised him for what he did to me but he was always so kind to me I could not stay angry with him and so I soon fell in love with him. So, we became mates and we have lived here since the after the war."

"Thank you for telling us your story," Carlisle said smiling at them in thanks.

"And thank you for telling us your stories," Rachel smiled kindly at us.

So we said our goodbyes to our new friends telling them that we would see them soon for a visit and to find out how they were doing in their new found diet and then we continued on with our quest in finding Bella.

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	19. Chapter 19:Fire of Death

**i would like to say thank you to my beta LilyMW-chan for helping me with my story and that you for every ones reviews i really appreciate knowing your thoughts. i hope you like this chapter and tell me what you think. **

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Chapter 19: Fire of Death

We went to France next and travelled everywhere Bella had gone. We meet vampires that Bella had met in her travels and soon we moved on to Germany then to Norway and to Poland.

We had decided to go our separate ways to hunt when we reached Poland. I was running through the lush green forest of Poland and I picked up the scent of wild boar. I moved in to a hunting crouch at headed in the direction of the boar but my phone vibrated in my pocket distracting me from my hunt. Rosalie's name lit up on the screen.

Rose must be reporting in with us about their search for Bella, I had thought.

"Hello Rose. How is the search going?" I asked as I heard Rose shuffle on the other side of the phone, "Rose? What is it?"

"Alice had a vision... she... she said there was so much fire and voices yelling and screaming... but then her...her future disappeared..."

Even though I couldn't see Alice's vision, I could see _her_ d...death. I saw the fire's long flames lick at _her_ pale marble flesh. I could see in my mind as _her_ body crumbled to blackened ash in the fiery flames...and the dreadfully over powering perfume that would waft through the area from the blackened smoke."

Though I could see _her_ burning in my mind, my heart could not comprehend.

"Who?" I asked, my voice cracking at the end.

Rose sighed sadly, "Bella."

The phone in my hand buckled under the intense presser that my stone hand had coursed, crushing the small piece of technology. It began to slip from my grasp as I fell to my knees and roared in agony as the hole in my chest that I tried so hard to fix by finding _her_ ripped its self wide open. The grief took over me and I sobbed. My whole body shaking from the overwhelming emotions; I tried to get to my feet, but the moment I began to stand my legs buckled and I came crashing back down to the dirt covered earth.

I remembered what I had thought about my love in a time that felt like another life time ago in a happier place, _'No matter what I will be there by her side till she sends me away. And if that day comes it will be the death of me; for I cannot live without my soul. I will exist for my family but I could never live without my love, my life, my soul, my Bella.'_

I had lived for my family but now my love, my life, my soul was died and I had no reason to live. I could not live in a world where _she_ does not exist. My life is over and with that I rose to my feet and ran. I ran to the only group of vampires that could help me for I knew that I could not ask my family to end my existence. For they would not be able to end me and I could not look in to Esme's eyes and see the grief as she would watch my brothers and father heartbreakingly rip me apart on my own accord.

My whole form shook from the intensity of the agony that I felt in my chest and as I ran from where I had been my legs gave out once more and I sobbed. I knew that I would have to get up and keep moving otherwise Carlisle would surly find me and try to stop me from ending my existence but all I wanted to do is crawl into a ball and weep for my love. I heaved myself up and continued to run. I crossed countries upon countries as I headed for Italy which would be the place I would finally end this pain that burned in my chest a thousand times worse than the fire of the change.

I wanted so badly to blame someone or **something. **I guess if I blamed God or anybody else then I might not have to blame myself but I undoubtedly knew that it was my fault... ALL my fault and no one's but my own.

I ran and just kept on running I did not even bother finishing my hunt first. I did not care that my eyes would be black charcoal and that my throat should be in flames but when the thought of my throat on fire I cringed at the thought remembering the fire that consumed _her _and I could feel a sob building in my chest. All I could feel was the overwhelming and painful emptiness in my chest. Nothing felt real any more it felt like I had somehow been sucked into a dream...no a nightmare. The worst nightmare I could have ever possibly imagined. All I wanted was to wake up from this nightmare and find that I was with my beloved Bella as she slept beside me with my arms around her waist but the realistic part of me told me that this was no nightmare but that this was reality.

When I finally reached Italy, the country side past by me in a blur. Everything past by in a blur now that I didn't have a reason to look at what surrounded me, I only saw my goal, Volterra. This city would have been considered beautiful any other time but today to me the blur of the city represented something more than just buildings staked together; to me it symbolized my death... also relief in a way... The numbness I felt was blissful in that moment. Soon I would feel nothing, nothing at all. A dark cheerless smile played upon my lips at the thought. And if Carlisle was right that I do have a soul, and by some miracle found myself in heaven, I would be with my Bella. For that is where she would surely be because that is where she belonged. Her beauty and her love will shine like a star in the heavens above and there I could spend eternity telling and showing her how much I love and adore her.

I walked down a dark ally and saw what I was looking for; two Volturi guards came up to me.

"I wish to see Aro," As I spoke my voice was empty of all emotion.

"And why would he want to speak to you?" the tall masculine male, Felix, asked. He was about the size of Emmet maybe little bigger.

"Because I am a member of Carlisle Cullen's family"

At that they tilted their heads in interest then they motioned for me to follow them. I knew that Carlisle would not be pleased that I used his name to help me get in to see Aro so that I could die. Not that I am really alive now.

We entered into a passage way that led into a dim corridor. We went through corridor after corridor till we reached a door then there was a lighter hall way and at the end there was a lift. As we exited the lift, I saw a human women greet us from behind her desk.

The smaller male, Demetri, turned to me and said, "Wait here,"

I sat down on one of the chairs in the foyer and waited.

What could have been seconds or even hours, Demetri came out to where I was and said looking down at me.

"They are ready for you."

He then turned and headed back to where he had come from. We got to a set of doors made of gold and a smooth vanished dark wood. Demetri opened the doors which then lead into a hug round marble meeting chamber. On the opposite side in the middle of the far wall sat three thrones. In the three thrones sat two long dark haired males and in the other was a long light blond haired male. From Carlisle's memory I found that the blond male was Carius, the dark hair male on the other side was Marcus and the dark haired male in the centre was the head of the Volturi,Aro_. _

Aro smiled with a child like excitement that had a dark edge to it and rose from his throne.

"A son of Carlisle; how wonderful," His smile grew larger as he clapped his hands in childish delight. "What brings you to us young one?" Aro wondered, moving forward to where I stood.

He took my hand and his face became emotionless. In his mind I saw all of my memories and I to became emotionless as a statue until he reached the memories of _her_.

I collapsed to marble floor as my form shook silently. Still, Aro's hold on my hand was still strong and he continued on with searching my memories when he had reached the memory of _her_ death my shakes turned to sobs.

Aro pulled away and I got to my feet still quivering from the overpowering emotions of all of the memories.

"Carlisle certainly has some powerful vampires in his coven. It would be such a waste to destroy you, young Edward. You can always join us. We can use a gift like you. Such a shame that your mate passed."

I reframed from hissing at him as I saw his thoughts of my B..._her _joining the Volturi.

"Please," I begged, "please I beg you to end it."

"We shall talk it over and then we shall give you an answer." Aro turned away from me and looked to his left. "Chelsea escort Edward to one of the guest rooms to await our dissection."

The light brown hair vampire came over to me and beckoned me to follow her. We exited the large hall into one of the side doors moving though the long stone corridors. She turned to the right and we then found ourselves at a door.

As she opened the door I looked inside. There was a fire place on the far wall with several old oil paintings scattered around the walls of the room. In front of the fire place was several arm chairs surrounding a coffee table and underneath the objects was a colourfully designed rug that lay on top of the cold stone floor, next to the fire place on either side were two mahogany bookshelves filled with many books. On the left side of the room was a large four post bed which had the same type of design as the rug on the comforter. There was a ceiling light which Chelsea had turned on just as she had entered that lit up the room.

Chelsea moved aside to let me enter. For this whole time I had not bothered to really pay attention to her thoughts. I looked into her mind but saw no real useful information that I needed to know because she was only thinking of the mess that I looked to be in. Before she closed the door, she looked to me.

"I will come and get you when Aro and the others have decided," she hesitated for a moment. "I'm really sorry for your loss Edward."

I simply nodded and she closed the door behind her.

I moved to one of the arm chairs and sat down staring off into the unlit fire place. The blissful numbness had once more come back again in which I was content with. I sat there for awhile simply thinking of nothing then a thought accrued to me.

If the _Volturi_ granted my wish than I would be with my love once more if Carlisle was right. But if they did not grant my wish I would have to think up a plane to aggravate the Volturi so that they would have no other choice but to destroy me.

I told myself to not think of something like that and hope that there was no need. There was a knock on the door and Chelsea's head came around the door when she opened it. "They have decided," she simply said opening the door wider.

I rose from my seat and followed her out of the room and towards my unknown fate.

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	20. Chapter 20:Stepping into Death

**Hello All! I really sorry that it's taken forever to get the next chapter up but hopefully I will be able to update on a more regular bases. Thank you to everyone still reading and I hope you enjoy this next chapter!**

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Chapter 20: Stepping into Death

_There was a knock on the door and Chelsea's head came around the door when she opened it. "They have decided," she simply said, opening the door wider. _

_I rose from my seat and followed her out of the room and towards my unknown fate._

As we entered the grand hall, I looked to see Aro's eyes trained on my every step. The three Volturi leaders sat watching, waiting as each step took me closer and closer to them.

I stopped walking about ten feet away from their thrones. Aro rose from his seat and stepped forward.

"We have discussed your . . . request and have come to a decision," Aro paused from a moment. I tried looking into his mind but he was not giving anything away.

"Your gift is a very powerful one, child. To be able to hear hundreds of minds all at once without touching them. . . Imagine the potential your gift would have if it were trained more thoroughly..." Aro mused. "It would be such a waste to destroy it. I am sorry young Edward but we will not destroy such a powerful gift. If you are unhappy with the life that your cavern has created, you are most welcomed to stay with us, but we will not destroy you."

My form shook from my emotions and I heard feral growl building inside my chest, echoing off the walls. I raised my top lip, baring my teeth, and hissed. Turning away from them, I stalked away towards the large golden doors and slammed them behind me. I did not care anymore. I left the city, running toward the closest forest. I ran deep into the darkening woodland. When I could not take it anymore, I let out my anger, putting my fist through a trunk of a tree and growled frustration. But then I begun to sob.

My emotions where all over the place; the numbness that I had blissfully felt only hours before it shattered when Aro's words left his lips and all my emotions came back in full force, tearing me apart. I wrapped my arms around my torso and rocked myself back and forth. When my head was clear enough, I started to plan.

Many things came to mind as I thought of ways I could aggravate the Volturi. . . I could go hunting in the Volturi's precious city but with that same thought I saw Carlisle's face and pushed that idea quickly aside. I would not hurt Carlisle by killing innocent people.

Then I thought of such things of lifting a car above my head showing my inhuman strength to those humans around me. I schemed and thought more and more then I finally thought of the perfect solution. I would not be going against Carlisle's way of life and I won't have innocent blood on my hand the moment before I die. I would simply walk into the sunlight. From what I got from the thoughts around me as I moved closer to the city, the human's were celebrating St Marcus' day.

I scaled the walls and moved into the city. I looked up and saw the clock tower. It was perfect nothing could stop me. I determined that when the sun was at its peek at noon and when the most amount of people moved into the square I would step into the sun revealing the monster that I truly was. Noon was only an hour away and then my end would finally come.

I looked up to the sky and not a cloud could be seen. The sun was rising higher and higher as I awaited the arrival of its peek. I watched from the shadows as the humans past on by.

In a way I envied them. I envied their humanity, their simple joy, and, on a darker note, I envied how easy they could die. A simple knife to a major vein or plunged straight into the heart, a bullet to the head, an over does of a drug. . . these fragile creatures were so delicate, so easily killed. . .

They had such a short amount of time to live, a blink of an eye to a vampire. A small grain of sand among billions of other lives on the shores of time and most forgotten after a few generations…

I watched as the children danced around their parents playing and thought of _her _so recent childhood. Though it ended so very abruptly when she was only fourteen on the day she was taken but by some miracle, she was able to keep some of her child like happiness especially when she was around Emmett. My lips turned into a very small smile at the memory. It is amazing how my childish but loveable brother can affect those around him. Take Jasper for an example. Before he met Emmett, he was such a serious man and would never have thought to be playing pranks or simply joking around with my goofball like my brother. The humans would call Jasper a tortured soul but my family slowly helped heal him. We all played a part in helping each other, but there was always something missing. I did not really notice it until I met the missing piece in the hospital that faithful day; the day when everything for me and my family changed. I had hoped it would be for the better and that better would last a little longer.

I longed to touch the soft skin of_ her_ face as _she_ looked up into my eyes and saw straight in to the very depths of my being. To hear _her _voice as_ she _spoke to me in the quiet of our little place of solitude as we watched the sun rise. To hear _her_ beautiful bell like laugh that I could have sworn that it came from the lips of an angel from the heavens. To see _her _beautiful face as it sparkled in the sun light, to hold _her_ in my arms when she cried. To kiss _her_ soft lips and tell her how much I love _her_, to see _her _smile up at me just one more time.

I knew that if I could I would have silent tears streaming down my pale marble face. I saw _her _face in my mind and I grimaced and whimpered because I knew that I could not touch and could not hear her again.

I looked up to the clock tower once more and saw that it would be noon soon and so I slowly made my way to the clock tower through the shadows that hid me from the sun's light.

When I got to be in the shadow at the base of the clock tower I looked up at the tall stone building and breathed in the dusty scent of the stone and I reached out and lightly touched the ruff stone as I walked towards the sun light that was only ten meters away. Each step was slow and precise, each step towards my very own type of gallows but I do not fear my death - I embrace it willingly.

I got to the very edge of the shadows releasing the buttons of my shirt and sliding it of my shoulders and letting it fall to the ground behind me. I closed my eyes and took a step into the sun light as two strong arms pulled my form back into the shadows and I kept my eyes closed ready for the end.

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**What's going to happen to Edward?**

**Who pulled him back from the light?**

**Will he survive?**

**Please review and tell me what you think!**

**Thank you everyone for reading! Please review and Thank you every one who added me to there favorites! I'll PM/Message/email you the next chapter if you review before i put the next chapter up. So PLEASE review! Oh if you have any questions I would be happy to answer them! **

**Thank you all and have a nice day! Until next time!  
**


	21. Chapter 21:My Light in the Darkness

**Well here's the next chapter! Thank you to "angelplusbuffyequals4ever" for your review I really appreciate it!  
I hope you enjoy this next chapter.**

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_I got to the very edge of the shadows releasing the buttons of my shirt and sliding it of my shoulders and letting it fall to the ground behind me. I closed my eyes and took a step into the sun light as two strong arms pulled my form back into the shadows and I kept my eyes closed ready for the end…_

Chapter 21: My light in the Darkness

My body fell to the ground and I felt weight on my chest as if someone was sitting on my torso. My mind was slowly shutting down as I waited for my end. I felt them move as they bent down and I felt as their breath against the skin of my ear.

"Edward. Open your eyes, Edward."

I knew that voice from somewhere; I just could not recall it properly. The voice was saying it over and over again, and each time the voice said the phrase I began to recognize it. My mind had rejected the idea of it being who I thought the voice was because she was dead. But maybe I was too and Carlisle was right.

My eyes fluttered open and there, looking down at me, was the most beautiful thing in my world. I reached up with my hand to touch her face but I hesitated unsure of whether she was real. She moved her head into my hand.

'I'm really here Edward and you're not dead. We're not dead.'

I did not understand how we could be alive, but in this moment I did not care. I gently pulled her face down and brought her lips to touch mine. I kissed her passionately putting as much of my longing as I could in to the kiss; moving our lips together in perfect sink. We slowly pulled away and I looked up into her brown eyes.

"Bella," I began, tracing my fingers over her face just as she was doing to me.

"Edward."

Before we could say anything more we realized we were not alone anymore. The two forms of Felix and Demetrius walked forward in the shadows. We rose to our feet, "I will not be in any need of your services gentlemen."

"Aro wants to see you," Felix challenged.

"I have not broken any laws we will simply get on our way."

"It would be best if you would both follow me." The voice was from neither Felix nor Demetri but instead the high pitched, childlike voice was of the childlike form of Jane Volturi.

'Maybe we should just go with them and sort this out?' Bella thought as she looked up at me.

'I don't want to lose you- not again.'

She squeezed my hand and took a step forward. 'You won't...never again'.

We walked forward and followed Jane, Felix and Demetri down into a nearby drain and down the same way in which Felix and Demetri first lead me to the Volturi not too long ago.

Bella looked around curiously admiring her surroundings as we enter the main section of the Volturi castle. She looked at me questionably as she saw the human woman behind the desk in the lobby.

'I don't understand why she stays when she knows that there is more of a chance of her death then getting changed?' she thought to me.

'She still believes that there is still a chance of them changing her no matter how slim and that small sliver of hope keeps her here,' I responded.

We continued to follow Jane in to the large assembly room where she bowed her head in submission to her masters.  
"Why, thank you, Jane. You not only brought back Edward but also Bella. How wonderful," Aro sung as he clapped his hands together. "It seems that we were right in not destroying you young one."

"It does seem that way, Aro."

Aro walked forward to stand in front of us. I had angled my body slightly in front of my Bella protectively. Aro looked toward the both of us expectantly and stretched out his hand. As Bella reached out to touch his hand her mind became closed to me.

When their hands touched Aro stood completely still and frowned and I tried not to smirk at his thoughts. He was amazed at her ability to shield herself from him but he was also irritated that she could block him.  
Aro pulled his hand away, "Interesting"

His thoughts turn sinisterly curious 'I wonder if Jane's gift would work on her...'

"Jane."

I hissed at him. I knew that Bella would not be harmed but he was threatening my mate nonetheless. Jane bowed her head in response to Aro then looked directly at Bella. Bella squeezed my hand giving me a reassuring look but kept her mind hidden from me.

I did not question her because I knew she would have her reasons and I would trust her judgement.

Jane was angry because she could not affect my Bella. The side of my lip turned up at her annoyance and suddenly I felt the pain. I fell to my knees and sharply closed my mouth to not cry out in pain as my hands went to my head.

Bella hissed and suddenly the pain was gone and Jane was sprawled out on the floor screaming. Alec, her brother, ran to her but he suddenly stopped frozen. I rose to my feet and Bella had her hands in tight fists, growling.

Aro's eyes were wide at the exchange between Jane, Alec, Bella and I. In my mind I told her that she can stop now and that there was no more threat. Bella nodded her head and Alec started moving towards his sister and Jane stopped screaming. Alec helped Jane up and moved slightly in front of her. I wrapped my arm around Bell's waist and held her gently at my side.

"You seem to have found yourself a very powerful mate, Edward," Aro said, smiling hungrily down at Bella. "You would be magnificent in our guard. We would be happy to welcome you into our lovely little family… both of you," he said as his eyes slid to mine.

"Thank you for your offer, Aro but we wish to decline. We simply wish to get back to our family," I said.

Aro's expression sunk as he sighed. "Well that is unfortunate, but if you do change your mind we will have a place for you here with us," he said with a smile. I knew that he would end up trying something but being the Volturi that could be in a thousand years.

We nodded our heads in return and then we hear the minds of humans as they entered the hallway that led to the assembly room of the Volturi. I felt Bella stiffen at my side as she remembered what she had done to the humans we had accidentally come across while we were hunting.

I hushed her in my mind and turned to Aro. "Your food has arrived and we would like to be on our way."

"Are you sure you would not like to join us? I am sure that Heidi has collected a worthy fest for us this day."

"No, but thank you for the offer," I rushed.

"All right. You can wait in the foyer until the sun has set," he said, nodding.

"Thank you," I said moving Bella out of the room and into the hallway, walking quickly down the hall until we neared the humans where we slowed to a human pace walk. Bella tried not to look at them but she soon looked up to see the humans. All shapes and sizes, men, women, and children. Bella shuddered at thought of the children being here but kept her mouth shut. Then once again we sped up once we went passed them but just as we opened that door to the foyer we heard the screams and cries of the humans that we passed that were led to their deaths not even a minute before. Bella tightened her grip on my hand and let out a soft cry and closed her eyes thinking of happier times.

I moved her over to one of the couches that had been placed in the lobby. I placed her on my lap and held her to me.

'Try to sleep love.'

She nodded her head against my chest. I softly hummed to her, her lullaby and soon her thoughts slowed and her mind embraced peaceful darkness. After a while she had begun to dream. I had seen this dream thousands of times but it felt so new to me as well as so well-known to me like the back of my hand. She dreamed of the meadow and the... our child. She always loved that dream. It always made her happy but then there were times were she would become sad because she knew my doubts about whether I could give her a child.

She slept for hours and I continued to hum softly to her as she slept. Chelsea came out and smiled down at us. "Aro said that you can leave at any time now."

"Thank you, Chelsea," I looked down at my Bella and placed a kiss on her forehead. She sighed and I bent down to whisper in her ear, "Bella, we can leave now," her eyes fluted open and smiled up at me.

She placed her hand on the side of my face. "I love you Edward."

"I know, love," I said giving her a gentle kiss. "I love you with all my being."

We both stood up and continued down the hallway then to the lift and continued into the dark passageway and then into the drain in which we had first entered. When we got up to the surface and in to the dark night I looked up into the sky and saw the magnificent array of stars. We ran out of the city with the moon high in the sky smiling down on us brightening our way through the Italian landscape. We headed to the airport and once we got into the building the tiny form of Alice charged into me and Bella wrapping her small arms around us as much as she could.

"You scared me so much!" She glared at us both, "I thought that you..."

She looked at Bella unable to finish her sentence then moved to look up at me. "And I thought that you were going to kill yourself! Don't you EVER do that again!" She finished looking between the two of us.

We both nodded not saying anything. We both knew that if one of us died the other would follow shortly after but my family would never have to know that.

"Hello Alice," Bella said smiling down at Alice hugging her tightly.

"Bella! I missed you but your back now. That's all that matters."

The others came over and engulfed us in hugs. The last family member that I hugged was Carlisle.  
'I would like a word with you, Edward, when we get back home.'

We pulled away and I gave a small unnoticeable nod. I knew that he would want to speak with me especially about what had transpired within the walls of the Volturi's home. But I knew he would want to talk about something else though he did not think of it at this moment in time. Carlisle could keep his thoughts well hidden even though most of the time he did not hide anything from me -except when his thoughts had a sadder edge to them and did not wish for me to know just yet but he all ways ended up reviling his true thoughts to me. This time I knew that his grave thoughts would be about my almost suicide...but that will have to what until we got back home.

Alice had already booked us a flight back to Australia and so we quickly boarded the plane and relaxed into our seats. Once the plane was high in the sky Bella moved herself so she was once again sitting on my lap with her head against may shoulder. I placed a kiss on her hair and breathed in her beautiful scent just as I felt her do the same. Then slowly she closed her eyes, relaxed into my embrace and fell into a dreamless sleep as I hummed her lullaby to her.

I smiled down at her -the love of my life, my light in the darkness and once again I was whole.

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**Well their finally our of the Volturi's grasp- for now-and on their way home.  
**

**Thank you everyone for reading! Please review. I'll PM/Message you the next chapter once again if you review before i put the next chapter up. So PLEASE review! Oh if you have any questions for any of my stories I would be happy to answer them! **

**Thank you all for you time and have a nice day! Until next time!**


	22. Chapter 22: The Talk

**Well here's the next chapter! Thank you to "angelplusbuffyequals4ever" for your review once more ! And thank you "LadyLunaTwilight" and "nic 2121" for adding this story to your favorites! All of which I**** truly appreciate! Thank you once again!**  
**I hope you enjoy!  
**

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_'I placed a kiss on her hair and breathed in her beautiful scent just as I felt her do the same. Then slowly she closed her eyes, relaxed into my embrace and fell into a dreamless sleep as I hummed her lullaby to her._  
_ I smiled down at her the love of my life, my light in the darkness and once again I was whole.'_

Chapter 22: The Talk

We found ourselves back at our secret place looking out into the vast landscape and watching the sun rise once more.  
In moments like these, we kept to our own thoughts. It was good to finely be alone with my own mind for just a few hours- and I thought of when we returned home from Italy...  
Carlisle asked me into his office. Everyone else went for a hunt, including Bella- she knew that Carlisle wanted to talk with me alone.  
I stared into his darkening gold eyes as he gazed back into my blackened ones- I had yet to hunt wanting this conversation to be over as soon as possible. The fire that had erupted in my throat did not bother me as much as it used to; I had lasted longer without feeding, although at the time I did not feel much other than the gaping hole in my chest which was finally healed because my beloved came back to me.

My attention was drawn to Carlisle as he started to speak.  
"You scared us Edward... so, so very much..." he trailed off, thinking back to when Alice told him that I was going to the Volturi to die. I saw Esme's heartbroken face as they heard Alice say the words, telling them that they could not get there in time to save me from my impending suicide. I put my head in my hands and I slumped my shoulders in shame for what I had put my family through - knowing full well that I would do it again if the satiation arose. As I had gazed into my father's eyes, I knew that he indeed knew that I would do it again, and that made me feel even worse. He knew me so well. He did not need to read minds or to see the future or have any other ability to know me so well. He just did. He was like that for all of us. He was our strong hold, our confidant, he would all ways be there when we thought that we had no one to turn to, and he would always do what he thought was best for our family. He always put us first and himself second.

I knew that it was selfish of me to think that if I died, everything would be better. I had not thought what it would do to my family after I was gone but I knew for certain that if they lost their mates they would follow after their loved one no matter how long it would take to do so.

I once again looked into his golden eyes.  
"I...I'm sorry for what I put you through...it's just..." I had no words to explain myself. My head fell back into my hands as I gripped the stands of my bronze windswept hair. My shoulders shook as I silently sobbed- not a sound came from my stone lips.

I felt Carlisle sit in the chair next to me and put his arm around me. "I know," he said over and over again holding me in his fatherly embrace.

I had failed my family because I had hurt them so much. I immensely regretted what I did but my regret would not stop me from doing it again.

We had sat there for a while and once I had come out of my guilt he asked about what happened when we were among the Volturi.

Once everything was said and over, we both went hunting, racing through the forest. I felt free again with nothing to hold me back. I saw Bella in the distance dropping the carcass of the animal she had just feed from- my eyes were too trained on her to notice what kind. I blanked out my mind then raced forward silently tackling her to the ground and kissing her furiously. She giggled from under me as I realised her lips and moved on to kiss the pale silk flesh of her neck. She moaned in ecstasy ever so softly into my ear and I moved my face back to capture her lips once more.

She pulled back leaving me wanting more and rolled me over straddling my waist and put her elbow on my chest with her head resting on her hand, looking down at me- tracing the contours of my face with her other.

I reached up to caress her face gently, "I've missed you so very much my love..."

"And I you..." she said moving her gaze way from my face. She became sober; slowly looking back down to me with sorrow filled eyes, "I'm sor-"

I quickly placed my hand over her lips. "There is nothing to be sorry about love."

She removed my hand and stared down at me. "There is and it must be said." I was about to ague when she put her fingers to my mouth. "Please...for me..." I looked in to her eyes and nodded. This was more for her then it was for me…

"Thank you," she took a breath then said, "I'm so sorry that I left you. It was stupid and irrational and because of my actions I hurt you then end up putting your life in jeopardy and you almost got yourself killed... I will never forgive myself for that. And most importantly, I-I failed you. I should have been there for you like you were all ways there for me but I left and I not only hurt you but I had hurt the family as well; and I hurt myself even more because you were not with me. I messed everything up!" She looked me straight in the eye and said, "Never again will I leave you."

I rolled her over so she was pinned to the ground and I was hovering over her; our faces only inches apart, "you have been away from me for too long and I will never let you run away again. I love you," I whispered then I connected my lips to hers holding her tighter to me. I pulled back and simply held her body to mine never wanting to let go.

We stayed quiet for some time until I thought of something. "Your gifts- you met many gifted vampires in your travels."

She smiled. "Yes. You have already met a few when you were searching for me. I met the tracker, the healer and the lie detector from England," she said smiling, "I also met a man that could become invisible in Germany, and then there was another who could move things with her mind, and when I went east there was a vampire who could look into people's pasts, another who could move through walls and her mate could teleport to another nearby location. There's a few more and the abilities that I got from the Volturi." She was silent for a few moments and I knew she wanted to tell me something but I didn't know what because she was blocking me.

When she spoke it was just above a broken whisper, "I found him."

I looked at her confused.

"My last master- He was in Spain at the time. I-I acted on impulse." She looked up in to my eyes. "Edward I did something wrong. I knew I should have turned him into the authorities or something but... he was so close." She looked away from me and into the distance- opening her mind to me as she told her story.

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**I have 4 question for you...  
**

** 1. We know what Edward had been doing during Bella's absence but what could Bella have been doing in hers? Any guesses?  
**

** 2. What do you think of Edward so far?  
**

** 3. What do you think of Bella so far?  
**

** 4. Four new characters will turn up in the next chapter-we all know them!- can any one guess who they could be?  
**

**Thank you everyone for reading! Please review. I'll PM/Message you a short preview of the next chapter if you would be kind enough to review before I put the next chapter up. So PLEASE review! Oh if you have any questions for any of my stories I would be happy to answer them! **

**Thank you all for you time and have a nice day! Until next time!**


	23. Chapter 23:Memories of My Angel

**Well here's the next chapter! Thank you to "angelplusbuffyequals4ever" for your review!**

** And thank you "kersa13", "Cresent Angel", "jomaxrox", "lin stiernet", "Vampiress23" and "yuriana" for adding this story to your favorites! **

**Also Thank you "dizzykaz", "Cresent Angel" Story Alerts ! All of which I**** truly appreciate! **

**Thank you all once again!**  
**I hope you enjoy!  
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* * *

_"__I found him...__"__ I looked at her confused. __"__My last master. He was in Spain at the time... I acted on impulse.__"__ She looked up in to my eyes. __"__Edward I did something wrong. I knew I should have turned him into the authorities or something but... he was so close.__"__ She looked away from me and into the distance opening her mind to me as she told her story..._

Chapter 23: Memories of My Angel

"I was in Madrid at the time and it was only by chance that I even saw him. He was in a little coffee shop talking with one of his associates. They talked quietly of some sort of transaction- his associate wanted to sell him a 'horse.' When I looked into their minds it was not a horse at all they were discussing. His associate was a human trafficker wanting to sell him a young girl. Of course he accepted and was going to 'have it pick up later today.' So I followed him around for the day and in the afternoon he went to his room that he was renting at one of the local night clubs. The girl was there along with another but she had been there with him longer- but still just as scared...

"I slipped into his room with my new found abilities. I wanted to torment him so I quickly got rid of his body gauds and then it was just him, me, and the two frightened girls locked away inside his bedroom..." She stopped talking and began to tell the rest in her mind.

_I walked in to his line of sight and he almost jumped out of his skin but he quickly put a calm fa__ç__ade on and purred, 'My dear Nemesis'- he would names us after different deities that he thought suited us. He never cared to learn our true names-'What a surprise to see you. Could you not stay away?' he laughed._

_He always was arrogant when he talked to us. He had never once told us his name, but I now knew it from reading his thoughts that his name was William. William Martinez. I looked at him with a raised eyebrow. 'Really **William **don__'__t be so cocky. Your way out of your league here,' I growled and smirked at his reaction. _

_He looked at me surprised. 'How do you know my name?' His carefully composed fa__ç__ade was slowly cracking at the seams._

_'Oh I know a lot about you **William Martinez**... but you don__'__t really know much about me do you. You don__'__t even know my really name- but not to worry. **Nemesis **will suit perfectly for this moment. I know that you called me Nemesis because I was a good little assassin for you but I guess you__'__re going to get some... 'Divine Retribution' from __'__your Nemesis,__'__' His eyes widened and he started to move backwards away from me. Fear evident in his hazel eyes as I carefully watched him as he nervously ran his hand through his dark brown hair._

_I ran at vampire speed behind him and whispered in his ear. 'Are you afraid of death **William**?'_

_He fell to his knees and begged, 'Please! I__'__ll give you anything you want... money... anything!'_

_I moved in front of him and crouched down and lifted his sweat covered face to look up at mine then wrapping my hand around his neck giving it a gentle squeeze. I looked into his eyes and hissed, 'What I want... I want is to hear you screaming and begging me for death just like all those girls you made beg and till you finally gave them peace in the most painful and brutal of ways! I want to feel the texture of you blood on my hands as I slowly torture you to death.' My eyes burned with hate into his fearful ones. 'I want to hear every bone in that pathetic body of yours brake! That is what I **want**! And I promise you that by the time I am done with you- you will be unrecognisable,' I growled at him raising his quivering form above my head. 'Pray that God may have mercy on you for I certainly will not!' Then I threw him and he flung into the far wall... _

She looked at me. _'__And I did. No one heard... the loud music hid his agonised screams... I beat him until he was begging for death and still I went on... and on... there was blood everywhere... **his** blood everywhere. I didn__'__t even feel thirsty even though my clothes were socked. Once he was dead I cleaned everything up and I disposed of his body and got clean clothes for myself. When I looked around the room - it looked like no one had been tortured to death only minutes before..._

_I went to the bedroom door and knocked and then entered. The two girls were bound and clinging to each other shivering from fear and from the cold for they were both only in some undergarments. I sent waves of calm to them and told them that they were all right- that they would not be harmed anymore. _

_I gave them clothes and got them out of there. I found out where they were from and took them home. The new girl_ _Sophia was fifteen and the other Gabriel was seventeen. _

"They were so young, Edward... they never deserved that," she said- her voice filled with sorrow.

"No one deserves that..." I trailed off caressing the soft skin of her cheek.

"I was going to make this life different- better but I guess I will always be a monster." Though she was looking in my direction- she was looking past me into a haze of nothingness.

"Oh, my darling Bella," I sighed into her hair bringing my angel closer to me. "We all make decisions that we regret but we cannot change the past no matter how much we regret it."

She looked at me frowning. "But that's the thing... that's the sick part about it... I don't regret that I ended his life... now I not only have five human's blood on my hands in this life but now its six- no make that eight- and I don't regret killing the last three..." She was silent for a moment. "Does that make me more of a monster Edward?"

"You know, Rosalie killed the men that raped her, Jasper... well he kill lots of people before he came to us and he still has his slip up just like how Emmett, Alice and Esme had their slip ups. Does that make them monsters?"

"No... But they at least regret what they did."

"Rosalie didn't. She would probably do the same thing if she had a chance to go back in time."

"But she has never killed an innocent..." she looked up at me. "Neither have you."

I sighed heavily. "No I just played god with hundreds of human lives... and yet you still think that I'm not a monster... so how I could I ever even consider of you as one?"

She was silent for a moment. "Do you think that you're a monster?"

I knew where she was going with this but I still continued, "Yes"

"Do you think that that will ever go away?"

I contemplated her question for a short moment then sighed once more, "No... But it's eased," I said smiling sadly, looking down at her and she gave me a small smile back. We lay there for a while simply finding comfort in each other's embrace and looking up at the sky.

"Bella, Alice saw a vision of you dying..."

"I was in Magadan, Russia and heading further east when I met a group of nomads... there was three of them, James, Victoria and Laurent- it was night and they were hunting when they came across me. They were so mixed up with the hunt that they for took me for a human. They came after me so I ran as fast out of the city as I could yet they still came. So once I was far enough away I let them come- I sat down and waited... amusing myself with playing with the individual blades of grass poking out from the soil. I heard their thoughts as they came and I found that they liked to play with their food- to get their meal afraid- so I watched them with my mind's eye as they formed a plain of attack. They found it entertaining to do so.

"The female Victoria came casually towards me with a false kind smile on her face. 'Hi,' she had said but when she spoke it was the high pitched voice of a little girl but she was clearly in the body of a young woman. She had long, curly, bright orange hair which shaped around her pale face like fire as the wind swirled around us. I replied with a hello not looking away from the grass and then she asked me why I was out here all alone. She was trying to get my guard down but I knew her plan anyway and it was not going to work.

"I smiled kindly at her as she took a seat next to me and I told her that I like being alone sometimes..." she said. I could see it all in her mind as she played it out for me...

_'__Victoria looked over at me and smiled. __"__It can be dangerous when you__'__re alone- especially at night.__"_

_I smiled wider. __"__Oh I think I could handle myself... I can put up a good fight when I need to.__"_

_She smirked, __"__Oh, I__'__m sure you can.__"__ She was thinking how her mate, James would have lots of fun tracking me down... smelling the fear that would have come of me in waves if I were a human._

_I heard the others come towards us and suddenly they were in front of us. The one called James was crouched in front of me- his face mere centimetres away from me. He had light brown hair which was shaped around his pale muscular face and he glared at me with his darkened blood red eyes- I almost smirk at his attempt to frighten me. So I simply raised an eyebrow and said hello._

_The confusion in their minds was amusing to say the least and the one called James asked, __"__Do you know what we are?__"__ not fearing if I didn__'__t for in their minds I would not live to see the morning._

_ I smirked at the tall vampire __"__yes,__"__ Giving them a pleasant smile and leaning back on my elbows- I looked at them all. __"__Your vampires,__"__ I said with a casual shrug of my shoulders._

_"Are you not afraid?__"__ James asked- he was clearly the leader of this cavern._

_I simply shrugged my shoulders again, __"__Why should I be?__"_

_"__You intrigue me, human,__"__ he said leaning closer._

_I laughed at that, __"__Human? Just because I have blood running through my vain does not mean that I__'__m human...no I__'__m not human.__"__ I leaned forward much too fast for a human and used my hands to gesture towards his throat. __"__I too wish to satisfy that fire with in my throat and know that only blood will quench my thirst and extinguish the fire...__"__ I cooed- then lent back once more._

_"__'What are you?__"__ the one called Laurent asked._

_"__'I am a vampire...I just blended in better.__"__ I rose abruptly and they too stood as well._

_"__'What__'__s your name? This is my coven,__"__ he said, gesturing towards the other two who were now standing at his side. 'Victoria and Laurent- I am James.'_

_"__Bella__"_

_"__And where is your coven, Bella?__"_

_"__I wanted to be alone for a bit...travelling...sorry for wasting your time. I will let you get back to your hunting now,__"__ I said starting to turn away._

_"__Why of course. We shall be on our way,__"__ Victoria cooed at me- mischief clear in her eyes. _

_I knew that I needed to leave- there was just something not right about the one called James...his mind had a cruel edge to it so I ran._

_I began to run south following the coast line. When I neared Sakhalin Island, I swum to the island then ran down towards Japan. I didn__'__t stop running or swimming till I finally reached Tokyo._

_'__With the money that I had found in my bank account,__'_she thought, giving me a pointed looked and I just smiled and hugged her tightly. She chuckled and rolled her eyes. '_I bought some new clothes and singed into a hotel since I hadn__'__t had any form of 'creature comforts' since Moscow, Russia. I thought I might stay for the night before I move on and headed over to China and when I crossed in to the capital Beijing I decided to stay for a bit since I found no danger in the near future. I once more singed into a hotel and fell asleep in the room and in the morning I got up and had a look around city for a little bit. When I found a Starbucks I went in for a coffee. This particular time there happened to be quite a few people but I somehow found myself next to a Native American man...Sam Uley. His copper skin was the opposite to my pale white sink and his dark hair was long and pulled back into a ponytail at the nape of his neck and he was tall about six foot. We got talking and he was doing a short student exchange chores which was just for a few months and he was nearing the end of it. Every day he would come have breakfast here and so for the following week or so in which I had decided to stay I met up with him- but on the last day his body temperature was rising and then the next day he disappeared..._

_'__I looked into his future but it had disappeared as well. I looked into my future and that__'__s when I saw them...Victoria, Laurent and James. They had come to hunt me. They were curious about my blood._

_'__They were already in the city. I knew that I could not fight them in the city because the humans could get hurt but I also knew that they couldn__'__t do anything to me when I was in amongst all the mortals. I stayed in crowded places but I could always sense them- always hear them in my mind...they would not stop until they had me so I left the city and headed north deep into the forest. I could smell them coming after me- I ran until there was a gap in the trees that surrounded us and turned to them and in a matter of seconds they were there. I wanted to end this peacefully but the chances of it weren__'__t very high and I didn__'__t want to let them find out about my gifts...just in case they got away and notified the Volturi._

_"__Decided to stop running, now did you?__"__ James said with an arrogant smirk on his face. __"__You know- you__'__re all alone out here and there__'__s three of us and only one of you.__"__ I knew he was only trying to get a reaction out of me but I kept my face calm and my heart beat steady._

_"__I would advise you to please stop hunting me before somebody gets hurt,__"__ I said, keeping my voice calm and even though I knew at any moment my veins would be flooded with adrenalin because of the upcoming fight that was sure to come but I still made no move to attack._

_The three of them chuckled and Victoria growled, __"__You__'__re in no position to make demands.__"_

_They then crouched and readied to spring into action. I smirked and lowered myself to the ground into an attack position as well. The monster within me rejoiced at the thought of fighting once again. _

_Laurent leapt at me but I quickly made a move to deflect him- which sent him crashing into the trees. Suddenly the other two came at me simultaneously- to a human, the fight would have simply been a colourful blur and growls but to me their movements were so clear. I remembered my fights with Jasper and Emmett and I remembered what they-mostly Jasper- had tort me and used the techniques I was tort on my opponents. Moving fluently through deadly arms and biting teeth, I managed to push both James and Victoria away from me._

_Laurent came at me once again but he was not as capable fighter as the other two and he was in pieces and a blaze just behind me in a matter of a few seconds. Victoria and James hissed and growled at me as they looked past me to see their friend burn and smell the sweet aroma that wafted through the air from the flames. _

_They came at me again and court my arms, snapping their teeth at me. I was only barely just in front of the flames... I could feel the heat... that__'__s when the huge black wolf came._

_It jumped over the burning vampire and crashed into James bringing him to the ground with a cry of pain as the large beast took a chunk out of his shoulder._

_I turned my attention back to Victoria as the two began to fight. I leapt at her and we began to start fighting again. I fitted my shield more securely around my body and went in for the attack. She tried several time to run and get away but I stopped her- dragging her escaping, battered form back in to the fight by her fiery hair. Chunks of her flesh lay scattered on the ground and her wide fearful eyes waited for the end. __"__I told you that you should have stopped hunting me but it__'__s too late now,__"__ I snarled and went in for the kill as she tried to retreat again. I raced after her and bit into her neck severing her head from the rest of her body and threw it into the flames._

_I turned back to find the wolf and James still fighting. It seemed that the wolf was handling itself quite well and that was when I heard and recognised its thoughts...it was the Native American man- Sam Uley. I sprung forward and attacked James on his other side and with the help of the wolf... Sam. James quickly joined his companions within the fire._

_The wolf turned to me and crouched low and then tilted his head in confusion. I held my hands up and said, __"__Sam?__"__ The wolf stood up again and his eyes portrayed the confusion that his mind was thinking. __"__Sam it me- Bella,__"__ His mind was trying to find out how I knew it was him, 'I can read your mind.'_

_Sam__'__s head shot up in surprise. 'What?__'__ he asked in his mind._

_I smiled and simply said, __"__It__'__s a long story and I thank you for the help back there.__"__ I paused for a moment. __"__How did this happen?__"__ I said gesturing towards his huge wolf body._

_'__It just did. I got cornered by those guys,__'__ he thought- gesturing towards the fire, __'__and it just happened... then I ran away. I do remember something about this wolf thing from some of the tribe__'__s stories but I thought that they were just myths...__'_

_"There are many things that I thought were once myths and legends- and turned out not to be at all,__"__ I said smiling up at the large wolf._

_'So what are you?__'__ he thought to me._

_"__'I__'__m... a vampire.'_

_'So back at the cafe` you were what? Waiting to get me a lone so you could eat me!__'__ he asked- snarling at me as he slowly lowered himself to spring._

_"__Easy there! I wasn__'__t going to eat you!__"_

_'__Then what? Got lonely?__'__ he snarled at me sarcastically._

_I looked down at my feet and nodded at the hopeless truth of the situation. I **was** lonely but I just could not find the courage to go back to you...back home..._

_This seemed to make him hesitate and calm slightly._

_We didn__'__t communicate for a while just kind of stood there until I asked, __"__have you change back to your human form yet?__"_

_'No- the legends say that the wolves can but I just... can__'__t,__'__ he thought sadly._

_"__How about you try to just calm down and concentrate?__"__ I asked and he shrugged his large shoulders and tried to calm down. His attempt was not very successful so I used Jasper__'__s gift and calmed him down so he could clear his mind of everything and then he shifted back into his human form at which I swiftly turned away from his naked form, __"__'Clothes would be handy- right?__"_

_"__'Oh... I um,' Sam started uncomfortably. _

_"__'How about I take a quick trip into the city and find you some cloths. I won__'__t be long just stay here,__"__ I said racing off- just as I heard his small okay._

_I used one of my acquired gifts and teleported into the nearby city to make faster travel. I entered the nearest male clothing shop I could find and bought him some jeans and a T-shirt that I thought should be able to fit him and within half an hour I was back at the sport in which I left him._

_I found him back in his wolf form lying on the ground but when he saw me he stood up and walked over to me and took the clothes that I offered him with his mouth and walked over behind a nearby tree. _

_A few minutes later he returned fully dressed and we got on our way back to the city. I manage to convince him to let me buy him a plane ticket back to America so he could go home and talk with his tribal leaders- so that they could help him through his change. After that I went back to my hotel to gather my things into my bag as he went to his apartment to gather his things before his flight back to America and we met up again at the airport and I saw him off..._

_When I was moving through the forest after leaving the airport I had a vision...__'_She looked up at me sadly as she traced her fingers lightly over the planes of my marble face, '_I saw you going to the Volturi to ask for death- and it broke my heart... you looked so empty... and that__'__s when I started to shake. I thought that it was just my emotions wreaking havoc on my body so I used the gift of teleportation I got from one of the vampires that I came across and travailed as far as I could go with it- but that didn__'__t take me too far- but it got me into Kazakhstan and when I got there I had changed... I looked down and I had... paws- I was an animal. I realised that I must have somehow gotten Sam__'__s power and shifting in to some type of animal, but from what I could see I did not look like a wolf... I was in the body of a very large lioness. _

The moment she thought that my hand immediately started to trace the design of the lion that was carved into her back. I remembered the images in her mind as she was branded with the golden mark set permanently and unchanging for the rest of her life. Yes life, not just existence- I know that now- somehow something changed in me the day I thought that she had died and now I knew that she could not just simply exist because if I had anything to do with it she would live- truly live and live her life to the fullest.

_'__I knew that I couldn__'__t help you if I were in this form so I picked up my bags which had fallen on the ground in my change with my mouth and ran. I continued running east as much as I could and the run seemed to calm me down some- so much so that I eventually was able to change back. I kept getting visions of your future and I was glad that I could travel great distance in a matter of seconds but it still was not enough._

_When I finally got to Volterra I was both relieved and terrified that I might not get to you in time and when you stepped into the light I had just made it.__'_

She looked to me. "You were there in my arms and I was whole again." She moved her head up to hover just above my face and whispered "I love you" as she brought her mouth to mine in a sweet but passionate kiss...

I was brought out of my reflection by Bella's beautiful voice. "Aro met one of my kind, you know- a war-dancer. I saw it when he touched my hand. I saw all of his memories and all of those that he had touched. It was near when the Roman Empire started to fall. Her and her master had been herded into the Volturi's trap. When the feeding begun her master hid behind her like a coward, begging her to save him- she was heavily cloaked to mask her identity. She released her clock and grabbed her hidden sward and swung it at her master's head- severing it from his body in one motion. She was too quick for him to know what happened.

"I guess in one way he got what he wanted. She saved him from an agonizing death by the hand of a vampire. Then she simply walked towards Aro- kneeling in front of him, sweeping her hair from her neck. She was the only one in all his memory that held no fear of him or death..."

She was silent for a moment then she looked me in the eye. "Aro thought of something that court my interests. When you went to him and asked for your death- he said that your gift could be very powerful with more thorough training."

I frowned slightly. "What sort of training?"

"From what I got from Aro- is that only another mind reader would be able to help you strengthen and extended your gift to its full potential. From what I can gather is that if you had joined the Volturi he would have helped you get into your subconscious mind. You would go so far into yourself that you would forget time. So what may seem like a day to you could be a minute to the rest of us or it could very well be the other way around. What seems like a minute to you it could be a day for everyone else- it all depends on how your own mind works. But you have to remember that- from what I got out of Aro, this could go on for month's maybe even years. It all just depends on your own mind."

I thought for a moment. "So you would help me?" I asked, looking into her eyes.

"Yes. Our minds will link together which should be the easy part because our minds have become so accustomed to hearing each other's thoughts but the rest is a little uncertain."

"We should talk to Carlisle," I said as I rose from my spot on the ground and reached out to her- offering my hand and she accepted the help and rose to her feet as well.

"Okay." She smiled nodding then we race away from our secret place towards home. We laughed and talked about everything and nothing but on the way something was wrong with Bella... something in her poster was making me concerned. She shook her head and for a fraction of a second pain flashed across her beautiful face- she first staggered in her steps then stumbled down onto the dirt covered ground.

My form rushed past her as I ran and I stopped to look back to see her unconscious form on the uneven earth. I raced backed to her and scoped her up into my arms and ran.

I pushed my legs as fast as they could go towards the house and burst through the door, crying out "CARLISLE!"

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Ooooo What could be wrong with our dear Bella?

What did you all think of this chapter?

**Thank you everyone for reading! Please review. I'll PM/Message you a short preview of the next chapter if you would be kind enough to review before I put the next chapter up. So PLEASE review! Oh if you have any questions for any of my stories I would be happy to answer them! **

**Thank you all for you time and have a nice day! Until next time!**


	24. Chapter 24: My Sleeping Beauty

**ALL CHARACTERS, SETTINGS AND ANY RECOGNISABLE REFERENCES ARE OWNED BY THEIR RESPECTFUL OWNERS- NO COPY WRITE IS INTENDED AND THIS STORY IS SIMPLY FOR ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY.  
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**Thank you to "**angelplusbuffyequals4ever**" for your review!**

**And thank you "**TheLon3rWay**" & "**HJL69**" for adding this story to your favorites! **

**Also Thank you "**HJL69**" for adding this to your Story Alerts aswell! All of which I**** truly appreciate! **

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**Well It's another month which means another chapter of Scars of a Torn Heart and I hope you enjoy!  
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**Last Time was a nice long chapter but this one is shorter but not to worry there will be other long chapters in the future! ****  
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**...**Previously**...**

_"Okay." She smiled nodding then we race away from our secret place towards home. We laughed and talked about everything and nothing but on the way something was wrong with Bella... something in her poster was making me concerned. She shook her head and for a fraction of a second pain flashed across her beautiful face- she first staggered in her steps then stumbled down onto the dirt covered ground._

_My form rushed past her as I ran and I stopped to look back to see her unconscious form on the uneven earth. I raced backed to her and scoped her up into my arms and ran._

_I pushed my legs as fast as they could go towards the house and burst through the door, crying out "CARLISLE!"_

Chapter 24: My Sleeping Beauty

She hadn't woken for 3 days, 10 hours, 45 minutes and 35 . . . 36 seconds and I knelt motionless by her side, clinging on to her hand for dear life as she lay unmoving on her bed. I tried to find any thoughts within her mind but there was none to find. I could feel her mind so that meant her shield was not concealing her thoughts from me but instead there were no thoughts at all . . . all I could hear from her is the incredible sound of her steady heart beat and her breathing.

As I watched this motionless beauty, I thought back to when I came back with Bella in my arms . . .

I ran past everyone and gently placed Bella on her bed just as Carlisle came in.

"What happened?" Carlisle asked calmly, yet I could see that in his mind he was very concerned with Bella's state.

"She collapsed and I can't wake her up. S-she was fine only moments before! I-I don't know what happened," Panic was clear in my voice and I felt Jasper's influence momentarily as he began to calm me down. I looked into Carlisle's eyes, "I can't lose her again, Dad."

Esme's arms wrapped around me to console but I found no comfort in my mother's embrace as I looked down at my Bella's immobile state.

Carlisle examined her and came to a conclusion that the addition of all the Volturi's gifts within her had taken a toll on her body and she hadn't been able to properly process all the new gifts she had acquired in Italy by sleeping- seeing that she had not slept at any time since she had returned home.

So now I simply waited...

... 3 days, 20 hours, 15 minutes and 10 seconds...

... 4 days, 5 hours, 50 minutes and 58 seconds...

... 5 days, 7 hours, 3 minutes and 2 seconds...

... 6 days, 5 hours, 28 minutes and 33 seconds...

But at 7 days, 6 hours, 10 minutes and 4 seconds, she stirred. At first I thought I had maybe imagined it but she stirred once more and I brushed my hand across her cheek evoking a smile from her as she breathed in my scent.

Her eyelids fluttered open and her smile widened as she looked up at me. I could finally find comfort in her beautiful mind as I heard her thoughts.

"You're awake," I marvelled, creasing her cheek softly.

"What happened?"

_'You collapsed and I couldn't wake you up. You've been asleep for about a week,' _I thought to her.

She frowned confused. _'Asleep? For a week?'_

_'What's the last thing you remember my love?' _I questioned.

_'I remember running with you and then there was this pain in my head,' _she thought touching her head slightly, '_and then I woke up here. Why did I become unconscious?'_

_'Carlisle thinks that the addition of all the Volturi's gifts within you had taken a great toll on your body and your body needed to properly process all your new gifts by effectively shutting down your mind and placing your body in hibernation.' _

She nodded processing the information I had given her. I pulled her into my arms and kissed her head.

"I was so worried . . . I thought that I would lose you again."

She looked up to me brushing her hand down the side of my face, "I'm not going anywhere my love," she declared to me as she kissed me sweetly on my lips before rising from her bed and pulled me up with her. "I'm hungry," she stated, smiling up at me.

I laughed, lightening the mood before we raced down to the kitchen and she opened the fridge pulling out bits and pieces of food products and placing them on the bench.

"It's good to see that you're awake dear," Esme said, coming into the kitchen and hugging Bella tightly.

"Yeah and she sure hasn't lost her appetite," Emmet snickered, coming into the kitchen after Esme and pointing out the numerous items of food littering the bench top. Bella simply rolled her eyes and glared at him as he picked up an apple. "I still don't see how u can eat this stuff," Em commented, shaking his head placing the piece of fruit in Bella's waiting hand and moving of into the next room.

"Do you need help with anything, Bella?" Esme asked, wanting to spend some time with her newest child.

Bella smiled kindly at Esme and asked if she would cut some vegetables for her. Esme happily nodded and they chattered cheerfully together as they cooked and I sat at the kitchen counter simply watching their movements.

Bella licked her lips just before she started to devour the meal in front of her. I smiled at her as I watch my angel eat. When Bella had finished her meal, we moved over to the couch in the lounge room and I wrapped my arms protectively around her.

We sat in silence be for I spoke, "We should probably tell Carlisle what we found in Aro's mind when he gets home," I said, staring blankly at the television screen.

Rose appeared next to us with the others following behind her. "What did you find out from Aro?" she inquired.

"It's about Edward's gift and being able to strengthen it," she said simply. "We can go more in-depth when Carlisle comes home."

The others were intrigued with what we had told them and waited impatiently for Carlisle to arrive home from work. Like every morning when he arrived home, we were all spread throughout the house but today the others move to the lounge room when they heard Carlisle pull up the drive way.

When he moved into the lounge room the others sat up expectantly moving their eyes between Carlisle, Bella and myself. Carlisle frowned noticing the others postures and looked to Bella and I.

'_Is there a problem?'_ he questioned.

"Carlisle, Bella found out something from Aro's mind that might interest you."

"How about we all go to the dining room then," Carlisle suggested.

Everyone rose from their sets and moved quickly to sit at the dining room table. If Carlisle was the soul and Esme the heart, then this table— though there have been many— was the symbol for stability for our family. This table was a place where all could be heard and were decisions affecting our family were made. This table and the others before it helped us stay together as a family just simply by coming together around its fine polished wood.

Carlisle sat at head of the table with Esme to his right, me to his left with Bella by my side, and Alice and Jasper after her. Rose sat next to Esme and Emmet next to her.

"What have you discovered Bella?" Carlisle asked.

"Aro thinks that Edward can become much more powerful than what he is now and when he wished for Edward to join the Volturi- he wanted to try and strengthen his power."

"How would he be able to do that?" asked Jasper frowning but leaning closer with intrust.

"Well from what I could get from Aro's mind- is that he wanted to join both their minds together and go into Edward's subconscious mind and help Edward find a way to push the limits of his gift."

"How long would that take?" Carlisle asked

"The time is uncertain," I said. "It could take anywhere from a few days to months or even years . . . we would just have to find out when the time comes."

Carlisle thought over the information then asked, "Is there any risks to doing this?"

Bella was silent but her thoughts were loud and clear. "We could both be lost in my subconscious," I paused looking at Bella then back at Carlisle. "Forever."

The other's breaths court in their throats and Carlisle sighed heavily looking between Bella and I, "Are u sure you want to do this?"

"We do. I'm curious about the potential of my gift."

"When did you want to do this?"

I looked at Bella and said, "After we have hunted we can start."

We finished up the meeting with few minor details then Bella and I head off to hunt- gorging ourselves with the overpopulated wildlife.

When we returned, we headed into Bella's room sliding onto her bed. We lay facing each other. I could hear all the others moving around the house when Bella shaped her shield around us so that the only mind I could hear other than my own was hers.

I gazed in to her deep brown eyes, "Close your eyes," she whispered soothingly.

My eye lids slid closed and I felt her bring my hand up to touch the side of her face and then moved to bring her own hand to lie upon my cheek. We then both moved to press our foreheads together.

"Well here goes nothing," I murmured as I felt Bella use her newly acquired gift from Aro. In our minds I saw flashes of my life speeding behind my closed eyes becoming faster and faster until it was just a swirl of colour flashing behind our eye lids. I could faintly hear Bella speak softly to me telling me to relax and focus on the images when suddenly there was complete darkness and not even a thought could be heard I was alone for what felt like hours. Then the darkness began to shape and form colour and I found myself in a room.

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So we get to have a look into our dear Edward's mind...There will be love, blood, gore, pain and heart-break; secrets will be made known and much, much more...there might even be a touch of scandal - who knows?

What do you want to found out about Edward?

Do you think they'll be able to get out of his subconscious or will they be trapped?

Will their relationship change? Will it grow stronger or will it be destroyed by what is hidden within his mind? any guesses? We'll find out soon...

**Thank you all for you time and have a nice day! See you in a month! And Please review I'd really ****appreciate it**!  



	25. Chapter 25:To Walk the Halls of Memories

**ALL CHARACTERS, SETTINGS AND ANY RECOGNIZABLE REFERENCES ARE OWNED BY THEIR RESPECTFUL OWNERS- NO COPY WRITE IS INTENDED AND THIS STORY IS SIMPLY FOR ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY.  
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**Thank you to "**angelplusbuffyequals4ever**" for your review!**

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**Also Thank you "**Suzy Q Something**" for adding this to your Story Alerts aswell! All of which I**** truly appreciate! **

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Hello lovelies! I'm back again for the next chapter of Scars and it the first of chapters inside Edward's head. Enjoy!

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Chapter 25: To Walk the Halls of Memories

Previously...

_' ... I felt Bella use her newly acquired gift from Aro. In our minds I saw flashes of my life speeding behind my closed eyes becoming faster and faster until it was just a swirl of colour flashing behind our eyes. I could faintly hear Bella speak softly to me telling me to relax and focus on the swirl images when suddenly there was complete darkness and not even a thought could be heard I was alone for what felt like hours. Then the darkness began to shape and form colour and I found myself in a room...' _

I knew this room. Somewhere in the foggy memories of my human life this room was my own, but unlike those foggy memories, everything was crystal clear now. I turned and looked around, brushing my hand along the smooth varnished mahogany wood of the foot-board of my old bed when I was a human adolescent. I slid my hand over the wood to meet the clean fabric of the white sheets. My hand slowly moved over all the different objects in the room, simply feeling each of the item's texture and amazed at how real it felt.

I came to the window and looked out and saw the old style houses of the early 1900s that lined the foot path with their nicely trimmed hedges and rosebushes. Suddenly I heard a cry and a woman's voice cooing. "Hush baby, don't you cry..."

I knew that voice too from my foggy human past. I turned and the room had change. In the place of the bed was a baby's crib and over in the far corner was a rocking chair in which a beautiful young woman with bronze hair and bright green eyes sat cradling the tiny child, softly singing a lullaby. The baby's cries softened to a whimper then soon ceased all together. I walked closer to the pear and saw the child's green eye's gazing up at the woman: my mother, Elizabeth Mason.

There was a soft knock of the door behind me and I heard my father's voice as he walked over to my mother kissing her head.

"Hello, love. How's my charming little Edward Junior been today?"

My mother smiled up at him. "Oh, he' been just fine. He just woke up actually. How was work?"

"Oh, the usually. I'm just glad to be home," he said smiling down at the both of them.

They became quiet as the baby slipped back into slumber as they talked. I turned to move out of the room when I heard Bella's quiet voice echo through the hallway.

"Edward? Where are you?"

I opened the door into a hallway fully and called out to her. I continued down the hall way and then found Bella walking in my direction. As she noticed me, she sighed in relief.

"There you are," she said, taking hold of my hand as I smiled down at her.

"I saw my mother and my father. Mother was singing to me and my father had just gotten home from work."

"Are they just how you remembered?"

"Better," I said, smiling happily.

We moved down the hallway and saw a door slightly opened. I moved to open it fully and we walked inside. This room portrayed the living room of my childhood. In this memory, I was a little older then the mere newborn that I had been in the last memory- my father was helping my tiny form stand and my mother was a few feet away crouching with her arms wide open.

"Go to mama, son."

My memory's small form stepped clumsily out of my father's hands, but then started to fall. Before the small child touched the ground, my father had picked him up and set him back on his feet once more. The boy tried once more slowly moving across the floor with my father close behind. The child reached out to my mother as he came closer to her then ungracefully fell in to her waiting arms. The two parents smiled with pride for their young son while the boy happily smiled and played with his mother's hair.

I felt Bella move closer to me, molding herself into my side and laying her head on my shoulder. "You were a beautiful baby, my love," she said, smiling up at me as I kissed the top of her head.

We stood there watching the small happy family for a while until we moved on back into the long hallway. As we continued down the hall, we started to hear a piano. The sound was a simple C major scale but it was clumsy and choppy, as if the one playing was unsure of what came after each note. When we reached the door the sound was coming from, I open it and we both stepped inside.

Seated on the piano bench where the two bronze headed forms of my mother and me. This memory was of one of my first piano lessons and my mother was teaching me my scales and how I should position my hands. She spoke softly but firmly to try again whenever I stumbled and got the scale wrong. Her patience was one of her best qualities along with her ever-present love and compassion.

I watched on as my young form slumped his shoulders when he got stuck on the E minor scale.

"Mama, I cannot get it right," my young voice quivered as the boy's shoulders slumped even more.

"Oh, come now, Edward. You have only tried it not even five times; you just need a bit of patience. You will get it in time. Let me help you." She placed her long slim hand over my small one and helped me press each correct note on the scale a few times then she let the boy try again on his own. He smiled triumphantly when he got the scale right.

I felt Bella chuckle when she saw my younger self's antics. "Always the perfectionist," she said, looking up at me smiling.

"Well I found that it was very important to get it right," I said, smiling innocently.

"But when you didn't you pouted," she said as she mirrored the pout that was on the boy not only moments before.

I laughed at her expression and kissed her pouting lips. "How about we see what other memories are within the doors, hmm?"

She smiled brightly and nodded, following me out. We walked down the hall once more and then we came to a door with my younger self curled up in a tight ball with his arms wrapped tightly around his knees and head bowed low-I would have been around the age of seven at the time- the boy looked at the closed door next to him then got up and opened it walking inside timidly. We followed the boy inside and Bella looked up at me with concern as her chocolate eyes moved between the boy and me. We walked into the room and found it was a bedroom set up for a baby. In the corner holding a bundle of pink cloth was my mother but something was wrong. She was not smiling and happy with the new birth of her child. Her face held nothing but emptiness. Tears silently fell down her pale, drawn and sunken face as she stared off into the distance with the sound of a haunting and cheerless lullaby coming from her chapped lips. Her body shook as she clung onto the small bundle in her arms.

The boy moved closer to his mother and hesitantly placed his small hand on her arm, "Mamma?"

She did not react to his touch or his words and the boy looked down at the small baby clutched in his grieving mother's arms. He stared confused at the pale unmoving baby in her arms. "Is she sleeping mamma?" asked the bronze headed boy.

At the boy's question, mother looked down smiling sadly at him. "Yes baby, yes she is," she said tearfully.

"Why are you crying mama? When is she going to wake up?" the boy asked wiping away his mother's tears.

Mother's lips trembled as she tried to stay as strong as she could for her son. "She's not going to wake up baby and that's why I'm crying." Her tears fell faster as a sob court in her throat.

The boy frowned. "Why won't she wake up?" he asked confused

"Because her spirit left and she's gone to be in heaven with God, baby. That's why she won't wake up."

The boy looked up at his mother and crawled onto his mother's lap hugging his mother as tightly as he could. "I won't leave you mama. I promise," the boy declared.

His mother whipped the tear that had just started to slide down his cheek and whispered brokenly, "I know baby, I know."

As I stared at the scene before us, I began to remember what had happened. My mother gave birth to the stillborn baby at home with the help of our maid who told me to go call the doctor. I could hear my mother's screams and cry's as I called the doctor on our telephone. Usually my mother or father would be with me when I used the phone- mostly my mother when I persuaded her to let me use it for her when she had to call her friends.

The doctor came soon after I had hung up and then he told me I should go out and play but I couldn't. I ended up sitting at the bottom of the steps in the foyer in front of the door. I heard a commotion up stairs and I remember following the yelling up to the second floor. When I had gotten to the hallway I heard my mother yelling at the doctor and our maid to leave her alone as she slammed the door to the new baby's room. The doctor had a few words with the maid then left, and the maid went down stairs to call my father.

I didn't know what to do so I had sat down next to the door until I had gotten up the courage to enter the room. I found out later that my mother would not let go of the lifeless newborn and she demanded everyone to leave her be. When my father had come home, he found us in the baby's room and he somehow managed to persuade my mother let go of the baby so that the child could be made ready for the burial.

The months following were one of the saddest moments of my human life. For weeks, my mother would sit in what would have been the baby's room staring blankly at the walls for hours until the maid or I could get her down for dinner were she would only pick at her food then go back up the baby's room until my father came home from work which was late at night-all he ended up doing was working, sleeping and eating but manly working.

When we packed up the baby's room there were many tears for a life never had. The weeks before mother had given birth, my parents had decided to call the baby Lillian Louise Mason and that was the name inscribe on her tomb stone with _'In heaven's loving hands thy tiny child rest for now and forever'. _As time progressed, life got back into some form of normalcy, though at times even in the later years of my human life I would see my mother or father go in to the room that would have been Lillian's and simply stand in there silently.

"Oh Edward I'm so sorry."

At Bella's voice I was pulled from my reverie.

"It must have been trying times for your family."

"It was, especially for my mother. Even years after her baby's death, my mother blamed herself for what happened."

"It's not her fault. No one knows how long we're going to live," Bella said, shaking her head.

"Everyone else knew that but trying to convince her was another thing especially when they tried again and she lost the baby to whooping cough three months after little David was born."

Bella was silent for a moment as she thought of the emotional trauma that my mother had because not one but two of her children died her care. "You're a lot like her you know. Not just with your hair or your eyes, but how you take the world onto your shoulders and every bad thing that goes on around you. You think that the blame is on you even when it's not. Some people have a problem with not taking responsibility for their actions." She looked up at me. "But, you have the problem of taking responsibility for everybody else's"

I leaned down towards her and whispered in her ear, "I'm not the only one with that problem my sweet angel." I said as I kissed her temple.

I turned to gaze of at my weeping mother one last time- wishing that I could take her pain away- and we solemnly return back down the hall.

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**There's Edward's memories form his childhood- what did you think?  
**

**what do you think of Edward birth mum?**

**There's plenty more of Edwards memory's to go- what more shall we find...**

**Next chapter is-**

_**Chapter 26: The Enigma that was Helen**_

Info:  
The National Institute of Health estimates that of the 4 million births a year in the U.S there are 26,000 stillbirths. But between 1915 and 1997 there was about a 90% decline in infant mortality.

**PS:The more you review the sooner I will put the next chapter up. Review or MP me even if you just want a chat. Thanks again for reading!**

**Thank you all for you time and have a nice day! See you in a month or maybe sooner...So Please review I'd really ****appreciate it**!  



	26. Chapter 26: The Enigma that was Helen

Chapter 26: The Enigma that was Helen

**_'In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on'. _**As I consider Robert Frost's words I realise how true it is as we enter the next open door. This memory would be of years later- my mother sits in the sitting room with her china tea cup place secularly in her long slim hands which rested comfortably in her lap as she talks with the two women across from her. My mother is still just as lovely as she always was with only a few wrinkles near the edge of her emerald green eyes. Even the emotional trauma had been hidden well after years of recovering from her two children's unfortunate loss. Even though she had gone through great sadness she had survived and she was stronger for it –because life goes on.

I observe the two women seated across from her- one looked to be around the age of my mother was at the time -who now looked to be in her very early thirties- with her blond hair tied up into a neat bun. The girl whom sat next to her I presumed to be her daughter who sheared not only her hair colour but also her stunning blue eyes and facial features. The girl looked to be around sixteen – only a year younger than my former self who had just entered the sitting room looking expectantly at my mother.

Elizabeth smiled up at her son beckoning him over to sit next to her, "come here Edward; I would like you to meet someone," this Edward stiffened glancing nervously at the girl but obediently obliged and sat next to my mother. "I would like you to meet Mrs _McAllister_ and her daughter Helen."

My younger self politely smiled at the two women, "Good afternoon Mrs _McAllister_, Miss Helen. I hope you are both well?"

Then Mrs _McAllister began, _"Oh Edward that is so kind of you to ask," She gushed smiling broadly, "we are both well, dear. Your mother was just telling us about your exceptional piano abilities and I thought that it would be absolutely wonderful if you could help my dear Helen with her piano."

Helen only gave a slight frown but otherwise kept her face blank of any emotion. But I understood why she frowned because I had heard her play on the school's piano in the music room in passing and she really didn't need any form of help at all-she was quit talented in the art of music.

"Oh that would be lovely!" my mother gushed as well- patting my hand, "come over after school and Edward would be happy to help you dear."

Though we said nothing Miss Helen and I knew precisely what they were trying to do. Match making. In the past few months of my turning the age of seventeen my mother had begun to invite a few of her friends and acquaintances over with their daughters to evidently meet me. The amount of girls walking through our front door and into our sitting room increased when my mother found out that I desired to go off and enlist. I know she thought that if I found a nice girl I wouldn't want to leave and go fight in a war that I would most likely die in- yep I knew her plan and it wasn't working.

Though many of the girls were overly happy to be in my company Helen was neither happy nor sad. She seemed to go through the days of spending lunch with our mothers and diner with our families with a type of mask on it seemed. She remained silent other than when spoken to and even then she would reply with a polite answer but always submitting to her father's or mother's wills. It was only when she sat at the piano that she truly came alive. As her fingers danced along the ivory keys and a smile could appear lightning up her face as she plays in a major key or she would come to heart wrenching tears when she plays something in minor.

The emotion that she would put into every piece would often make me smile for that was the only time she ever showed any feeling. All her other movements were more robotic than anything else yet no one seemed to notice.

She was quiet and reserved I knew if her father arranged a marriage for her she would not resist because she thought that it was her duty to follow anything her parents order her to do. Even if she ended up being in an unloving marriage- she would love the man to the best of her ability because it was her duty. She would care for him till the very end of her days- because it was her duty.

And that is what happened. When I had become a vampire and the world presumed me died her father arrange a marriage with one of his long term clients. She never shed a tear and as I stood near the back of the church hidden within the forest and I finally saw into her mind. She kept telling herself _'you can do this. You can do this-don't you dare start crying-you can do this-do it for father and mother-It's your duty to your family to do this. Now grow up and get yourself together and walk down the aisle! You can do this…' _

From the eyes around the church hall I saw Helen's slim form dressed in a beautiful white lacy wedding gown and steadily walking down the aisle- no one had any clue as to the panic that had flooded her mind. She had her mask securely in place and she fooled everyone in the room. As the ceremony came to a close she even threw a 'happy' smile in the direction of her parents and then one to all the other guests all the while still repeating, _'you can do this…'_ in her head. She was Miss Helen McAllister no more. Now she was Mrs Alexander Peterson.

Every so often I checked up on her and though she was still beautiful she had become thinner from not eating properly, her face slowly became more hollow and whenever she smiled it would rarely reach her eyes but when it did she would be smiling down at her children whom she loved more than anything. They were the only reason she kept on going. She had grown to love her husband but he never loved her back and that made it harder. There were no whispers of love when he laid with her only the want of an heir and whatever he wanted from her he got.

Helen knew that her husband was with another woman most nights and he never tried to hide it ether because he knew that he wasn't going to get rid of his wife. He would invite his lover over for dinner and they would be up late talking. She knew when to head to bed so that her husband could get what he wanted-always what he wanted. She had wondered what it would be like to marry a husband that would love her and she even thought of what would have happen if I had not 'died' and we were placed in an arranged marriage. She had wondered whether my polite and kind words would have grown into whispers of love. She wondered whether I could lover her like she had made herself grow to love her husband and more.

Many times she imagined herself in another beautiful white gown gliding down the aisle with a real smile gracing her lips with the only thing running through her mind is how handsome her love was in his fine suit staring lovingly at her walking towards him. But she would all ways chastise herself at those thoughts and reminding herself that she was married. And nothing was going to changed that no matter her desire and need to be loved.

Over the years she had befriended her husband's lover for she was the only friend she had. But as each year that I visited she grew worse and then in her frailness she had died in child birth. And her last child was born with the help of her only friend-her husband's mistress. Not even in her last moments had she been resentful of his lover for in her last breath she made her promise two things - that she would love him till the day she died and that she will love her lover's children like they were her own. Helen had given birth to a little girl which was name Helen after her.

As we walked down the hallway I retold the story to Bella and she simply didn't know what to say about the life of Miss Helen McAllister then Mrs Helen Peterson.

When we walked into the next memory the chocking stench of sickness and death filled the air and the sound of coughing and pained moans could be heard from every corner of the long hospital room. The influenza had begun.

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**_'In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on'_** **by Robert Frost.**


	27. Chapter 27:In Death We Live

**_Chapter 27: In Death We Live_**

_When we walked into the next memory the chocking stench of sickness and death filled the air and the sound of coughing and pained moans could be heard from every corner of the long hospital room. The influenza had begun... _

The two forms of my mother and myself entered caring my fevered father into the hospital. A nurse relinquished my mother of her burden and helped me take my father to one of the few vacant beds that lined the lengthy room. There were just as many people coming into the hospital as there were people being carried out with a sheet covering their now-paled faces.

As my mother and I stood by the end of my father's bed, the nurse hurried to collect a doctor to look at him. My mother moved sluggishly to sit by my father brushing his dark sweat moisten hair from his face. He gave a soft groan as he fought to open his eyes to look at his beloved wife.

Elizabeth caressed his pale, clammy skin, giving him a gentle yet tearful smile and holding in the pain that she felt inside as she gazed at her ailing husband's form. Even though it was clear that she was getting sick, she still held strong putting her family first.

My younger self looked up as the angelic form of Carlisle stepped into the long room and up to my father's bed. Mother wearily moved to my side grasping my hand in her now slightly too warm one for comfort. I had squeezed her hand lightly not knowing what else I could do other than show her that I was there for her.

Carlisle moved gracefully over my father as he gently checked how server my father was infected. Then Carlisle moved over to my mother leading her to the empty bed to the right of my father but my mother shook her head. "Really Dr Cullen I am fine."

"Mrs Mason, you need to rest and so does your son." As Carlisle said this, he looked to my young form as he swayed and just as he was about to fall he had court himself with the help of his father's bed. My young form shook his head as he tried to steady himself. Carlisle moved my form over to the bed on the other side of my mother with no resistance. Mother wasn't the only one trying to be strong for her family. I had hid the sickness so well up until that moment and everything simply came undone. I had felt it coming over four days ago and then I began to start coughing two days ago which had been steadily increasing.

My mother hurried as quickly as she could to my side, her face contorted with worry. "Why did you not tell me Edward?" she asked in a panicked voice.

"You were so worried over father and you were not so well yourself. I did not wish to worry you further."

"Oh, Edward!" She had that sad look on her face that she would get when she remembered Lillian and David's passing. She worried that she was going to lose another child-the only child she had left. She had thought that her first would be able to live on even when her others could not.

"I will be fine mother. Truly-I will," I had said trying to reassure her yet still knowing full well that her fear had not diminished but was progressively rising with each strained breath I took.

Carlisle gently guided my mother to the bed next to me. She held up no resistance in her sorrow.

As Bella and I watched, her hold on me tightened as the days within the hospital walls passed in front of our eyes and my younger self's health diminished. Much of our soundings blurred and became hard to understand as my human self no longer registered his surroundings.

The sobs of my mother were clear as day though as I looked to her sitting upright with her head in her hands as the doctors and nurses removed the ashen body of my father from his bed.

I had forced myself to move from my bed, even in my weakened state to sit on my mother's cot holding on to her fevered form within my trembling arms. A nurse was going to direct me back to my bed but Carlisle interrupted and ushered her away as to give us time to grieve.

Mother's tears and bloody coughs soaked my shirt as I laid her down to sleep in my arms, her sobs quietened but her tears continued as she slept.

When I had awakened from a fevered sleep, I was back in my own bed next to my mother as she dabbed a wet cloth on my forehead. She had done this many times, putting my health above her own, and each time a nurse would come and lead her back to bed. But when the nurse went from her line of sight, she moved back to my cot once again.

My younger self clutched the slick fevered hand of my mother and brought it away from his head. "You need to rest mother," I had said with a sluggishly raspy voice and whipped away the trickle of blood that ran down from my nose.

My mother had tears running down her face as she coughed into her handkerchief, shaking her head. "I can't lose you too."

"And I don't want… to lose you either… yet you continue…to weaken your chances…when you take care of me," my human's self said breathlessly as he coughed up more blood.

She caressed my cheek. "I'm fine Edward."

But I knew better, even in my state of delirium. I knew that she didn't plan to survive this sickness. She only planned to make sure that I did.

I had dropped the subject and when the nurse placed my mother back into her bed, I succumbed to sleep once more.

I had been awakened by another one of mother's coughing fits but I found it so very hard to move, open my eyes, or speak. I heard her rasping voice speak to Carlisle, "You must save him!"

"We will do our best Mrs Mason-"

"No! **You** must save him! The only way that you can!"

Mother's coughing continued as I barely heard Carlisle's small promise of agreement. My human self finally managed to open his eyes and saw his mother's form shaking as she coughed heavily until her entire body relaxed, her coughing ceased and her head lulled to the side. Her form became so still, it was as though she had entered into a peaceful slumber that she had not been able to achieve for the length of her sickness. Yet, there was no rise and fall of her chest to indicate breath.

Carlisle moved the sheet and laid it over her peaceful face.

My young human's form shook form the grief of the loss of not only his father, but now his mother. Tears streamed down his sickly pale face as he wept. I had no mother, no farther, and no siblings. No one- I was alone.

Lost in grief I had barely registered the doctors and nurses taking my mother away. How I had longed to move and clutch at my mother's now cooling form with all my strength but bound by the restrains that the sickness imprisoned me in. Soon, as time passed my weeping subdued into a fevered sleep- no peace found me there in the darkness of my subconscious… Only pain and sorrow…

In the haze of sleep, I had only slightly registered Carlisle picking up my form and taking me down to the morgue then outward in to the city. He had wrapped my human self in a warm blanket to guard me from the harsh wind as he raced along the city streets in the cover of darkness.

He ran to the outskirts of the dark city of Chicago and into a small house. He then laid my body on the small bed. Carlisle took a breath to calm himself, then whispered into the darkness, "May God forgive me for what I am about to do." He bent down toward me, his cool breath grazing the flesh of my ear. "I'm so sorry. I hope that one day you will be able to forgive me."

The flames erupted momentarily just as Carlisle's razor sharp teeth were removed from my flesh. My confused and unseeing eyes flew open at the sudden unknown searing pain. Still hazy with fever, and now in agony from the venom, my changing self called out for someone to stop the fire. Begs and pleas continued to flow from my past self's mouth intermingling with the screams and cries that also came forth.

Bella stiffened beside me as she watched my pain. A few times I could feel her turn her head to find comfort in my chest for a moment to compose herself before continuing to see though the memory, clinging even tighter to me with each cry.

Throughout all the days Carlisle stayed by my side repeating his apologies and telling me of what I had become, but it all fell on deaf ears as another one of my younger self's screams rang out around the room.

On the third day, the last of my humanity was stripped from me by the venom as my heart gave up its last agonizing beat. Everything grew silent. Nothing moved within the room… then eyes that were once emerald green opened crimson red.

My new form sat up in a blur looking to Carlisle then sought the room before looking back at him.

"Dr Cullen, how do you do that?!"

Carlisle frowned. "What do you mean?"

"Speak without moving your lips."

Carlisle's frown deepened. _'You can hear me?'_

"Yes! That is just what I had said!" My new born emotions flaring in anger.

"It is not me that is doing it."

"What do you mean?"

_'You can read my mind,'_ Carlisle thought to my young self.

My eyebrows raised in disbelief. "That's impossible!" My anger rose feeling insulted that he would think me that gullible to believe such things.

"You must calm yourself Edward," Carlisle said calmly.

My younger self narrowed his eyes at Carlisle then took a deep breath. My hands had blurred to grasp hold of my throat as it engulfed in flames and I fell to my knees as I shouted, "What have you done to me!" My tries for calm disappeared and only rage remained.

Carlisle held up his hands still speaking calmly, yet his voice held a pleading edge. "Please Edward it was the only way to save you-"

My younger self still enraged rose swiftly from the bed and ran at top speed to where Carlisle stood unmoving. "I said what have you done to me?" Though I had no longer been yelling, the menace in my voice was even worse. But as Carlisle tried to sort everything out in his mind my young form covered his ears and yelled once more, "Get out of my head!"

Carlisle's thoughts then became almost blank with only one thought remaining. 'I'm sorry.'

The menace returned in my voice. "Now what have you done to me?!" I had said, throwing my fist through the stone wall. I had drawn my hand back expecting the pain to come but there was none then I had expected it to be severely damaged but the only sign that it had connected with the wall was the pulverized stone that covered my hand like dark sand. I stared at it in shock then backed away from the fist size hole as well as Carlisle until I backed into a table. I had turned around and there on the wall above it was a mirror and staring back at me was the face of a beautiful yet monstrous demon with blood red eyes and I ran…

The memory faded and we left through the open door. Bella turned to me questioningly. "What happened after that?"

"There was a forest near the small house and I just ran for a while realizing that I was going so much faster than I was when I was human so I stopped. Carlisle found me soon after sitting against a tree with my head in my hands. But, I didn't want to speak to him. I was so angry. He simply sat down near me and cleared his mind of everything.

"He waited for me to speak until he moved and when that happened he told me of what I had become. To say the least, I wasn't pleased with what he had done to me and I am ashamed to say that I made sure to repeatedly let him know of my displeasure of the fact in my first few months of the change. But he was always patient, which had at times made me even more enraged with him...

"But as time passed, I forgave him and grew to love and respect him like I did my father. He was my rock, my guide and consort but then he found Esme. I knew that he loved her but I secretly resented her for the love and attention that she got from Carlisle that I had previously received from him. Though I hid it well, Carlisle saw right though my façade and on one of our hunting trips that we took with just the two of us he asked me what was wrong. I avoided the question for hours but still it kept coming up until I eventually gave in. I told him of my selfish resentment but in Carlisle's companionate nature he put the blame on himself and strived to find more time for me and in return I spent more time getting to know Esme. I not only found that she truly was a wonderful and kind person, but I grew to respect her just as I had with Carlisle."

"Carlisle knows all of us so well," Bella stated, staring of into something unseen as we walked down the hall, as we had done all the times before, when suddenly there was a scream.


	28. Chapter 28: Visions of Darkness

**WARNING!**** THIS CHAPTER CONTAINS GRAPHIC VIOLENCE, ADULT THEMES AND MENTION OF RAPE-NOT FOR THE FAINT OF HEART! YOU'VE BEEN WARNED!  
  
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**Now on with the story...Edward's _Rebellious _years... **

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_Chapter 28: Visions of Darkness_

…_ we walked down the hall -as we had done all the times before -when suddenly there was a scream…_

We raced down the hall –heading towards were the scream came from when we approached a slightly open door. When we entered we found ourselves on the streets of a city at night. We could hear the thoughts around us for miles and that's when we heard it- the disturbing voice of a merciless brute cornering a young, innocent adolescent girl. The Edward in this memory searched with his mind trying to find this man and the girl but the man's thoughts gave no indication of where they were and the girl's thoughts were of no use as they were erratic in her fear stricken state.

The man stalked closer to her; pleased as he noticed the fear in the girl's eyes and continued to taunt her as he moved closer. She begged in scarred, broken whispers as the man grabbed her- tearing at her clothing. I search and search but still I could not find them. This Edward yanked at his hair willing himself to find the girl.

Through the monster's eyes we watched helplessly as he took her innocence and watched as he stared down at the broken and beaten girl who still begged for mercy, "I promise that I won't say anything! PLEASE!"

He shook his head pulling out a knife waving it over her bruised face, "oh I'm very sure that you're not going to say anything- because I'm going to make sure of that," he said forcing her mouth open as she struggled beneath him sobbing praying to God that someone would save her. He grabbed hold of her tong and slicing it straight off. Her gurgled screams delighted the sick monster that pinned her lean quivering form down.

He then seized her right hand shoving her hand open bringing the knife to each of her fingers then moved on to her left, "won't want you writing anything now would we," he muted. She screamed and thrashed a he drew the blade along the skin of her arm and travelling down her chest slicing through her pail flesh in a thin line to her mid drift. He raises the knife above his head and brought it down hard stabbing her over and over again. The girl trembled silently as she drowned in her own blood- she had given up hope of being saved. The wind blew from the east and that was when I smelt the faint sent of blood. This Edward raced forward enraged following the scent of blood as it grew stronger. The sent lead to a small alleyway and there for the first time he saw the pare with his own eyes. This Edward ran forward grabbing the man by his hair and threw him against the nearby wall then continued to hit him. The feel of the man's flesh as it gave way to his unyielding one and the sound of the man's bones sapping at each blow he gave spurred him on until he could no longer resist the blood of the man that now stained his hands.

Once the man lay dead and drained on the ground he moved towards the girl. She lay motionless- her empty brown eyes gazed up into the blacken night sky and her heart lay silent in her chest. Her brown hair was spread out about her head like a dark crown drenched in crimson blood. He knelt down beside her and carefully closed her eyes as to make sure that blood on his hands would not mark her pale skin- with her eyes closed she look like she was in peaceful slumber. He-I looked at my hands covered in blood and ran.

Even though Bella and I were standing still everything around us was moving fast as we watch my former self run to the home of Carlisle and Esme. I was shaking as I stood next to Bella stunned at what I had seen that I barely registered that my former self had reached Carlisle's home and had collapsed into Esme's arms sobbing repeatedly, "I couldn't save her!"

My former self knew that Esme was confused at what I had spoken but she kept silently rocking my form back and forth and stroked my blood dampened hair without breathing in the scent of the red liquid that had socked into my cloths.

I knew what would happen next and I didn't want to face the memory of me leaving Carlisle. I didn't want to remember how the murderer's blood affected me afterwards. I had felt so full of energy and life that it all went to my head and I just wanted **_more_**. I only just noticed the fight that broke out between Carlisle and I.

My crimson eyes glared into Carlisle's gold ones, "You don't know what it's like Carlisle! The raw POWER I feel."

Carlisle spoke calmly, "Edward this isn't you. This is the blood talking-"

"No you're wrong. This is ALL me and I see clearer than EVER!"

"For just over a decade you been able to restrain-"

Once again I interrupted him yelling- anger dripping from my voice, "I 'RESTRAINED' BECAUSE OF YOU! I STAYED BECAUSE I WANTED YOUR APPROVAL! I WANTED YOU TO BE PROUD OF ME!" I pause for a moment dropping the volume of my voice but not the level of anger, "but then I found the clarity of the blood and finally realized it was all meaningless! All you wise words of humanity and compassion, all of it is MEANINGLESS!"

"The human blood is taking away your humanity Edward. Don't you see?"

I had laughed humorously sneering, "There is nothing HUMAN in some of those pathetic creatures' minds."

"YOU CAN'T JUST PLAY GOD WITH PEOPLES LIVES!"

"If you just took a glimpse into their minds you would say otherwise!"

"You are judging the many for the faults of the few-there are just as many flaws in vampires as there is in humans"

"What are you saying that you want me to be a-what 'good' vampire?" I laughed at him, "Carlisle I am a ** - a demon!**"

"You are NOT A DEMON! YOU ARE A GOOD MAN EDWARD!

"There is nothing you can say to stop me!"

"Please Edward think this through!"

"I have and I made my decision!"

Carlisle hung his head, "please stay. We'll figger something out! Please!" he pleaded desperately, _'please stay for Esme'_

I shook my head solemnly. No longer angry with him, "I couldn't do that to you…or Esme. It would…pain you," I paused for a moment looking up to Carlisle, "but I **promise **that I will **never **take the life an innocent," I vowed.

He nodded his head sadly, "I know" was all he said and he walked away from me…and I ran away from this life.

I wanted to run away from this memory -the memory of my first human kill, the memory of leaving Carlisle, the image of Carlisle turning his back on me and the girl who reminded me ever so much of the beauty that stood next to me with her deep brown eyes and long chocolate hair, her heart shaped face and pale skin- the girl who I **did** save reminded me so much of the girl that I **didn't**- I turned and open the door that should have led back into the hallway but it didn't. I found myself in another memory of my rebellious years. This memory only lasted for a few moments before moving on to the next and so on- only showing me the last horrific minutes of my victims' lives. From the lest bloody to the most seemed to flash before my eyes – even when I tried closing my eyes and covering my ears I could still see, I could still hear. And with each face and last thoughts came a name that I will always remember. I will forever remember each of their names- all 416 of them- each way each of them died and of course the reason why each one of them died at my hand.

I looked at the scene before me and wish I hadn't. A man named David Collins knelt bloodied at the monster that I call my self's feet. The monster sneered down at David igniting fear within the man just like he had done to so many of his victims in his now shortened life time. The man mumbled his prayers as he stared into the red eye demon, "Our Father, Who art in heaven, hallowed be Thy Name; thy kingdom come, thy will be done, on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread, and forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us; and lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil..."

The monster laughed humourlessly. The monster grabbed hold of his short dirty hair raising him up so the monster could whisper into his ear, "what about all of your victims? Were they delivered from your evil? Your victims can't forgive your trespasses anymore because you killed them."

David trembled and preyed harder, his voice shaking as he spoke,"...Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: For thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff, they comfort me. Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies; thou annointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over..."

The monster threw him against the far tree and a loud crack echoed around the forest as David's spine snapped in half when he connected with its solid trunk. The monster moved over to him and dragged him over to a fallen tree and pinning him against its moist wood by his neck, "this is my table and you are my prepared fest," the monster growled as he sunk his teeth into the man's throat. David Collins' screams rung throughout forest as the scene morphed into the next one and so on.

Then it came to Philip Evens. Out of all of them he had the most pride in his death. There was not begs or cries for mercy. I came into his apartment just before he went to leave to go kill his next victim. When I appeared in his apartment surprise was replaced by an eerie sense of relief as he gazed into my coal black eyes.

As I stalked forward he spoke- gently placing down his bag and staring out his window, "and so the devil sends the angle of death to come and collect me for my wickedness," his gaze falls back on me once more, "Thank you for stopping me when I could not."

Then he fell to his knees at my feet and looked up to me, "do you think that God would forgive me for my immorality?" he asked in nothing but a whisper.

I had started down at him with an emotionless expression, "God has grace to all whom ask of it. But I cannot tell you for only God knows where your heart truly lies." And with that Philip bowed his head and then I sapped his neck and his thoughts and murmured prayers fell as silent as the heart in his cheats. I pulled his neck to my lips and began to drink the warm crimson liquid.

I pulled my knees up towards me and bowed my head still uselessly covering my ears with my hands as I heard the next screams and pleads of my past prey. I wanted to scream too. I wanted to plead with the untameable, merciless beast too. I knew that in the begging that it was for trying to find a balance of saving the lives of the innocent and fulfilling the desires of the beast within but as the blood and the thoughts of evil flooded within me I began to let the monster take full control and he changed into something so much worse than those he prayed upon… The monster of monsters; the killer of killers…

I saw every one of my four hundred and sixteen prey's merciless deaths. Each one seemed to get more graphic as it went on and I couldn't block it out. By fifty I had started to rock back and forth and by one hundred and forty three I was yanking on my hair. At two hundred and thirty I started to twitch and shudder at every sound and by three hundred and two I started to cry but at three hundred and fifty I was screaming- screaming so loudly that I couldn't even hear myself think but still the sound of my prey drowned out even my loudest wail. It was my very own nightmarish horror movie and I hated it. I felt as though I was going insane as I was forced to watch each of their deaths.

I was so lost in the emotional agony that I hadn't realized that sticky crimson liquid was sliding down my face and hands, socking into my clothing until I looked at my hands. My screams ceased, all my movements simply stopped as I observed the red liquid slide down my hands. I still saw my last prey's end in all its ghastly horror but it seemed to blend in with the blood that now drenched my hands. The blood of the four hundred and sixteen men's lives that I slaughtered for their crimes to simply feed the desire of the demon within, the blood of the innocent girl that I could not save and every other innocent that I couldn't save no matter what I tried. I guess it's even the blood of the animals that I hunt. But I know that this blood that stains my hands symbolizes all my sins- every wrong thing that I have done. Seeing the blood on my hands was worse than watching the memories my victims one after another because as I gazed at my hands I saw them all at the same time over and over again. The blood dried and that was when I felt the wetness sliding down my cheek from my right eye. I brought up my right hand capturing the drop on my figure and inspected the reddened drop of water and that's when I brock down again.

I scrubbed at my arms, hands and face but the blood wouldn't come off-there just seemed to be more of it as the blood began to run once more just as my panicked cries rung out around me, just as I felt strong slender arms wrap themselves around my convulsing form as I uselessly tried to scrub of the blood.

Amongst my screams I could hear a feminine voice calling out to me, "Edward. Edward come back to me!"

I knew that voice. That was Bella's voice, "Bella," I said as I started to calm down though I still shook from all of my messed up emotions.

"shshsh, it's me- I'm here, I'm here," she whispered as she rocked me back and forth, "I'm here my love."

I eventually calmed down enough to take notice of the scene before us. My crimson eyes gazed into Carlisle's gold ones and then I bowed my head as to hide my sinful scarlet eyes but Carlisle lifted my head so he could see my face. "I'm sor-", my past self was about to apologize but my father pulled us into a hug.

"I know, my son. I know but there is nothing to forgive. I love you my son always know that."

Then the scene changed back into the hallway that we had come from and I was silent in Bella's arms as we rested against the wooden door.

I cleared my throat and looked up to see Bella's face, "did you…?" I didn't need to finish- she knew what I meant.

"Yes. When you ran out the door I went to follow but there was this invisible wall and I couldn't get to you. But I could see…and hear… everything," She saw the worst part of me and yet here I am still in her arms. I bowed my head in shame as I heard her whisper, "I know love. I know." 

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**Thanks for reading! leave a review and tell me what you think- I'd LOVE to know.**


	29. Chapter 29: A Vicious Beauty

**WARNING!**** THIS CHAPTER CONTAINS GRAPHIC VIOLENCE, ADULT THEMES AND MENTION OF RAPE-NOT FOR THE FAINT OF HEART! YOU'VE BEEN WARNED!  
  
**

**Now on with the story...Welcome Rose... **

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_I cleared my throat and looked up to see Bella's face, "did you…?" I didn't need to finish- she knew what I meant._

_"Yes. When you ran out the door I went to follow but there was this invisible wall and I couldn't get to you. But I could see…and hear… everything," She saw the worst part of me and yet here I am still in her arms. I bowed my head in shame as I heard her whisper, "I know love. I know."_

Chapter 29: A Vicious Beauty

For some death is peaceful but for a young beautiful woman- barely out of adolescents- her death was anything but. I say death because in essence it is true since her human life had ended- her organs and flesh now frozen for all eternity- never moving on always standing still as it were.

This proud young woman had what she called the perfect life. A life that meant she need not want for anything. A life of beauty, riches and desired by every man she passed. Her superficial beauty made her vain and self-absorbed but many cared little of this for her splendour made men blind to seek of such deeper things. Especially men who cared not for the thoughts and musings of women- only caring for the appearances of those that would hang from their arms. One of these men had unfortunately become acquainted with this outwardly beautiful mortal. Royce King was his name and in the end he was the end the perfect life that she so far had led.

As Bella and I walked through yet another door with in my past I came face to face with Carlisle tenderly caring the blooded body of a beautiful golden haired damsel who jerked around haphazardly within his protective arms- screaming at the top of her lungs.

Esme clutched onto my form from this memory's arm- gazing at the poor girl in her mates arms as his gently placed her battered and bruised body on the table. As I looked into this Edward's face- his eyes were hard and his mouth set in an unhappy line. Dissatisfaction was clear as day is to night and it was clearly aimed at Carlisle once more.

He forced his facial features to soften as he looked down at Esme patting her hand gently and motioning towards the girl currently screaming on the table, "Could you tend to her? Please? I need to speak with Carlisle for a moment."

She nodded and we moved towards were Carlisle and the girl was. This Edward observed the girl struggling one the hard wood table. Their eyes met for a moment and she breathed out an agonized cry, "Please! HELP ME!"He had flinched at her gazed as he remembered those much like her- girls that he couldn't save form such evil- but he had certainly made sure that those who had committed such wicked deeds were not left un-punished.

He had felt her pain-just as he had felt Esme's pain when she went through the change- he felt the fire scorching up her limes as if they were his own. But the fire seemed to be muted somewhat for him as he could remember the firer of the transformation and this pain was much less. That and for at least a time he could push the girl's screaming thoughts to the back of his mind and be able to focus.

Her flesh was battered, bloodied and busied- her clothes fared not much better- even though she was a complete mess she was still beautiful. This Edward then turned his hard gaze to Carlisle, "let Esme do what she must," I had said moving towards the door, "you must be thirst after being around all that blood today," I said keeping my gaze steadily on him- I had known that his control aloud him not to be but he immediately got the message I was conveying to him as he gave Esme a quick kiss and departed with me. We donned our coats and headed out of the city of Rochester into the wilderness beyond it.

Silence was thick between us as we raced through the forest until Carlisle stopped died in his tracks a few paces behind me which then caused me also to stop and turn expectantly towards him- waiting for him to explain.

"I may not be a telepath but I know what you're thinking and you must know I simply had to save her. She was dying-"

"You can't save every one Carlisle! You can't just pick and chose who to save and who not to! YOU CAN'T PLAY GOD WITH PEOPLES LIVES!" I yelled-spitting back his words from years before.

He flinched at my words as he remembered those same words that had left his lips just before I went on my own- just before I went and killed hundreds of lives.

"You robbed her of her humanity- of her soul!" I hissed

He bowed his head and sunk down to the ground- his head in his hands. This man that I had begun to convinced myself was perfect had begun to show his imperfections- though I see now that they were always there but I had been denying myself to see it until now. No one was perfect. It seemed that his greatest virtue- compassion –was also his greatest weakness.

I too sunk to the ground beside him, "I did it for you," he reviled to me in a hushed whisper- so quiet that had I not been listening to his thoughts I would have wondered if he had even said it.

"Me? Why me?" I questioned softly.

He looked up solemnly to meet my eyes, "you were lonely- both Esme and I could see that…I-we were worried for you- I didn't won't you to spend your life alone and when I found her… I thought that you could use a…companion," I could see in his mind that a 'companion' was an understatement. It seemed that the both sets of my parents ended up being worried about the lack of me being in a romantic relationship.

I raised an eyebrow at him, "a companion?" I gave a harsh sigh, "I don't need a mate- at least not at the moment. I already have a very determined succubus resolved to bed me along with her sisters who would also be very glad to do so as well," I said glaring of into the distance remembering the Denali Coven. Namely Tanya a very enticing strawberry blond that had her golden eyes set on me since Carlisle took me up to Alaska a few months after I was changed. The seductress had made it her goal to try to seduce me- but all her attempts so far had been for nothing and will continue to do so.

Carlisle too smirked at the memory and chuckled, "I must say that the look on you face many a time when she was around you was quite amusing."

Standing beside me looking on at the scene unfolding Bella too chuckled at my other forms discomfort- raising a perfect eyebrow at me in question. I cleared my throat, "I'll tell you about her later," then motioned back to the display in front of us, "we should continue watching." Bella rolled her eyes back to Carlisle and this past Edward as I had begun to speak with Carlisle once more.

I huffed before bringing us back on subject, "But of all the people in this city- why Rosalie Hale?" I asked remembering her from the vicarious minds. She had been in the many thoughts of men with great admiration but also in the jealous minds of women- to simply say she was well known for her illustrious beauty.

Carlisle looked at me and then down to his hands, "I truly don't know. I…I simply felt like I had to save her- I can't really explain it properly," he said as his shoulders slumped, "I know I can't save every one Edward- even when I wish that I could," his voice never reaching above a whisper, "It was wrong of me to make such decisions on her behalf when I knew that she had no choice in the matter. And it was inappropriate for me to make such a decision concerning you also."

"You know how I stand with this life Carlisle. I don't fault you for craving the company of another- I don't fault you for changing me ether…I know I once did but I have passed that now," I paused for a moment and looked off into surrounding trees, "but she may not be as forgiving. She will be angry- angry with you for making her what she is and angry with those that have stripped her of her dignity and her life. From what I have seen of Miss Rosalie's mind- you will have your work cut out for you. She now carries a lot of emotional baggage and she not like Esme. She can't just let go of her anger as Esme did."

"I understand this- and I will take full responsibility of what I have done-"

"But you're going to need a lot of help with this one- I can feel it. So I shall do what I can to help you as will Esme- I'm sure."

He looked up to me and gave a small smile, "Thank you."

I paused for a moment-letting my head fall slightly, "I should have helped you more with Esme but-"

"No Edward. It wasn't your obligation to help me just as it isn't now," I was about to tell him that he was wrong but he held up his hand- silencing me, "it's true. You need not help me now- only if you truly want to."

"I do and I will," I said firmly then I looked around forest, "seeing as we're our here…"

Carlisle laughed- raising himself from the ground and pulling me up in one motion, "there's a herd of deer a couple of miles east. I'll race you but…"

"Yes I know- you get a head start," I said shaking my head in amusement.

"What? It's not my fault you're faster," his said crossing his arms glaring playfully at me.

"Well it's not my fault you're getting slow in your old age- old man," I said snickering. Jumping out of his reach then started to run.

Looking out at the scene Bella and I laughed at my father's and my other self's antics as they chased each other around the forest in their mock fight. But as they went on with their hunting the scene morphed into the house once more as Carlisle and I entered solemnly.

Esme sat next to the now clean and dressed Rosalie Hale gripping her hand. Rosalie's screams had dimmed but the pain she felt was much the opposite. Now she more so whimpered and pleaded for death while struggling against the fire as she lay helpless on the table.

I saw my form walk tentatively up to Esme and laid my hand gently on her shoulder, "I will take over now- you be with Carlisle."

She smiled up at me and gently laid Miss Rosalie's hand on the polished wood before rising from her seat and going to Carlisle.

As the two left I assumed the chair and took Miss Rosalie's hand. Throughout the three days Carlisle, Esme and I rotated sitting with Rosalie until the venom reseeded to her heart coursing it to speed up inhumanly so when it then finally gave its last beat and became silent. Carlisle, Esme and I stood near as she rose from her laying position. When she turned her crimson eyes towards us they narrowed and she let out a hiss-which coursed a look of surprise flash across her face before she scampered of the table and backed up to the wall, "Who are you? What have you done to me?!"

Carlisle edged forward a step putting his hands up to show he meant no harm, "I am Carlisle. This is my wife Esme and my son Edward. We are not going to hurt you."

"Where are my mother and father?"

"I am sure that they would be at their home. They are just fine child," Esme said calmly.

Her mind was ramped with confusion as she blurted out, "what happened to me?"

"Why don't we sit-"

"No! I want answers," she growled then brought in a shape breath at the deep sound-which coursed her to feel the burn in her throat. She cried out in pain- glaring at us, "What have you done to me!"

"You were dying-it was the only way to save you-" Carlisle tried to explain.

"What have you done?!"

"I changed you."

"In to what?!" she yelled

"A vampire- he changed you into a vampire," I said evenly. Though the moment I said it she felt the same way I did-insulted, offended and angry, "I know it sound absurd- I thought the same way you do when I was changed but it's true."

"You're lying- there's no such thing!"

"Think about it. The burn in your throat- it's from the venom," I said stepping closer to her, "The fire you felt just before- it was the effects of the change," again stepping closer to her.

She shook her head, "No- you're lying…"

"Everything is so much clearer now- isn't it," she gave a small nod as I continued to move closer, "you can see so much more…" another step, "you can hear so much more," and another. She was within arm's length now and I continued to speak soft and calm, "I can help you take the burn away," her eyes flashed up to mine as she shook her head-panicked- imagining herself hunting a human. I hushed her and spoke calmly once more, "there are other ways that don't involve the taking of human life," I gestured toward Carlisle and Esme, "we don't hunt humans- we feed of the blood of animals- tis not as pleasant but it keeps the mind at ease." I held my hand out to her, "I can show you how to ease the burn if you'd like."

She looked down at my hand then back up at me as she slowly placed her hand in mine. I turned to Carlisle and nodded conveying with my eyes that I will keep my promise.

I led her out of the house telling her to hold her breath as we exited the city in the cover of darkness. I search the area for any minds and then proceeded to instruct her.

At first she was hesitant but soon she got the hang of it and effortlessly encased her prey in her marble grip to feed. For the most part she remained silent except to ask the causal inquiry about this life style…as well as how I became this creature that I am.

I told her a little of what I remembered of my human life and then I summed up my immortal life. She told me very little of her human life but I still saw all the foggy memories that she could remember anyway. She didn't trust us-at least not yet. I had a feeling that her trusting anyone again will take a long time considering the little trust she had in her fiancé- Royce King- was further more destroyed.

She remembers the last moments of her human life the most. I try not to delve into her thoughts but for the moment they were far too loud to ignore- as she recollected the fogy images of the drunkard vermin that rapped and abused her. She was a strong woman- I could tell by her mind and the fact that her features never showed the agony that plagued her thoughts.

"I'm sorry."

"What?" she said looking to me in question.

"For what happened to you."

She straightened up and glared of into the distance. We had stopped in a small clearing within the woods. "I don't need your pity," she spat.

"I know you don't- and I would never give it. Especially someone a strong minded as you Miss Rosalie."

Her mind flustered for a moment- it seemed as though she like it when I called her Miss but it quickly faded as soon as it came, "what do you know about my mind?" she hissed, glowering at me.

"Quite a bit actually- you see some vampires have extra abilities and I happen to be one of them-"

"Off course you are," she snared, "what? Can you read my mind?" she mocked.

I simply raised an eyebrow at her criticism and said, "Yes,"

"I don't believe you."

I huffed- raking my hand through my hair and smirking as Rosalie admired my enhanced vampiric beauty in her mind. She compared it to the murky memories of her human self and she disliked the fact that my beauty surpassed her human self, "you should see yourself now. You look different- yet the same," Beckoning her to follow me to a nearby pond. She hesitantly stepped forward to gaze at her reflection-flinching at the sight of her eyes, "don't worry- your eyes won't stay red for long if you continue on with the animal blood," I paused for a moment looking to her, "Does this appease you to know that your enhanced vampiric beauty is superior to my own?"

She felt two things insulted yet flattered by my comment and while she just glared- I smirked. She was pleased to know that I had noticed her physical beauty but she was disheartened to also recognize that I knew of her shallow mindedness.

She turned swiftly way from me and continued to trudge away. I ran towards her and gently touch her shoulder and she stopped- glaring back at me, "I sorry- it was improper of me to say such a thing."

She lowered her head and glanced up at me, "no you were right," she said straitening her shoulders- raising her head to meet my eyes, "it seems that you know much more about me than what I had first assumed."

"It was still wrong of me and I must apologies."

"There is no need. You are the first man that I've known in a long time to speak this truthfully to me. I should be thanking you for such a courtesy- even if it be a little ill-mannered."

I looked to the sky and saw the sun inch towards the tree line conveying that the period of twilight had come and soon night will behold us once more. I directed Rosalie back in the direction of the house and we headed off slowly to be able to enter the city once again in the cover of darkness.

The scene morphed steadily throughout the next few months and Rosalie's control had improved greatly. We had moved into a secluded area nearby to help Rose with the change. As the scene before us became clear Rose was seated on the steps outside which lead up to the deck that surrounded the house. Carlisle and Esme had gone hunting and it was just the two of us that remained.

Rose's thoughts were a jumble but the main consistency was the image of Royce King. We watched as my form walk up and sat down next to her, "want to talk about it?"

She didn't look at me as she spoke hesitantly, "what's it like to…kill… someone?"

I had thought for a moment- tying to find the right words, "it changes you," I'd began softly, "to see the life force go from their eyes till it's no longer there. To know that even if you regret it you can't bring them back. To look at your hands every day and remember how the blood of every single person you've killed is stained on your hands- reminded every day of their screams and please for mercy as you bring judgement upon them… In the end it really doesn't matter whether they were good or bad because it doesn't make it any better. Death is death- it's a painful truth. No matter how many reasons you have to try and pretty it up," in the end I had even forgotten Rose's presents as I forced myself out of my reverie. I looked down at her, "think hard Miss Rose… cause once you've done it- there's no turning back."

She nodded her head and thought for what seemed like hours, "I'm never going to let it go if I don't though…I'm I?"

"No. You've wanted this from the very beginning. It was just going to be a while before you realized it. Once a vampire is changed- they are set in stone. You had made you're decision long before you even realized it."

She was quiet for a moment before turning towards me, "help me." I stiffened has the hundreds of faces of my human prey flashed before my eyes. She continued as she saw my hesitation, "I don't want to…drink them. I don't want any part of them inside me…a-again," she said shuddering, "can you help me resist their blood."

I looked to her and nodded, "I will help you. The next time we go hunting we can begin."

She gave me a small smile, "thank you," she said simply as she turned back to gaze out amongst the trees.

The scene shifted from the house into the forest. We both stood at the base of an old pine tree. Trapped within my hands was a struggling male mountain lion. I looked to Rose, "we'll start with animal blood. Hold your breath," I told her and she nodded. I pulled a knife from my pocket as I grasped the lion's mussel and sliced its throat. The beast made a gurgled hiss and its struggles increased until it slowly stilled. Its crimson nectar trickled down its fir and I watched as Rose stiffened. I nodded to her, "start with small breaths then slowly begin to breath deeper."

I could see in her mind that venom pooled in her mouth simply at the sight of the blood and as she began to breath she had to begin to constantly swallow. She shook her head begging me with her eyes and her thoughts to let her drink but I shook my head, "you wanted to do this Rosalie. You are the one who wants to resist. Think of Royce and the others- you said so yourself- you don't want them inside you. See Royce as you stare at the lion," I said gripping the male beast tighter, "imagine that this beast's blood is his. And you are disgusted by his blood- ant you Rosalie?" She was frozen as she stared at the animal in my hands, "ant you Rosalie?" I said louder. Her head snapped up to mine and she nodded timidly, "you'll have to do better than that Rosalie?" It came out as something between a hiss and a purr, "You're the one who wants to make him pay for what his done. To feel his blood-still warm- on your hands, to watch as his body cools. You want to make him feel the way you were when they rapped and beat you," she visibly flinched, "you want him to tremble at just your name, you want him to scream and cry like a little girl in your presents. Don't you Rosalie?" I purred- dropping the bloodied carcase and moving closer to her. We were just inches apart and my breath breezed across her face ever so lightly, "you want him to beg for mercy and know that he won't be given any-so he'll start to beg for death but it will be slow, excruciatingly painful," I said lifting my bloodied hand to moved her face so she looked directly into my eyes which cause the crimson liquid to be smeared along her cheek, "Don't you Rose?" I breathed- still she didn't utter a word, "Don't you Rosalie?!" I growled casing her to jump.

"Yes," she whimpered-her shoulders slumped slightly in submission- but when she heard the growl that rumbled from my chest she narrowed her eyes and straitened her stance, "Yes," she growled back at me.

"Yes what? Rosalie," I snarled.

She shoved me against the tree and growled, "Yes I want to make him pay! I want to slowly torture him to death so he knows the fear and terror that I felt!" she pause for but a moment, "something that I **will not** let myself feel again," she whispered brokenly as she slumped against me and wept within the comfort of my arms.

Bella seemed intrigued by the exchange, "she really changed throughout the years. I never would have imagined that she could ever be…well- this," she paused for a moment as she motioned towards the scene of Rosalie sobbing in front us, "it's because she killed him isn't it," she stated.

She knew the effect of having someone's blood on her hands just as well as I did. "Yes," I confirmed and then continued, "I was there for it all-all seven men. She made sure that with the first six there was no blood spilt but with Royce…it was a little different," as I said this- the scene before us sifted.

It was clear that the house was home for a wealthy man as the large mansion came into view. A figure rushed inside to get out of the rain that had started early in the morning. Rosalie and I were on the out skirts of the property - covered with heavy black hooded cloaks. We went round back and cut the power making the only heart beat within sped up slightly. I had looked to Rosalie and nodded motioning to the balcony above which led to the room that held the heartbeat. We leapt up to the balcony and stood hidden within the darkness and poring ran. Rose moved forward out of the blanket of blackness up to the glass door as her still blood red eyes gleamed in her reflection of the glass. She let her cloak fall down her form like a black waterfall as the tattered and torn white wedding dress was reviled beneath- animal blood smeared and splattered across the fabric and her flesh. Lightning flashed across the sky illuminating the area and the man inside the room turned swiftly to see Rosalie's bloodied figure for a moment before she vanished back into the darkness with her cloak shielding her form from the rain.

_'His so close,' _Rose hissed in her mind.

_"_Stay with the plan Rosalie. Royce gets a slow death," I said quietly as I let out a low warning growl then looked back to see Royce's paling face as he saw- what he considered- Rosalie's ghost haunting him.

His trembling form retreated from the room at a run muttering madly to himself, "no- impossible… She's died- gone…my imagination…can't be…shouldn't of done…gone…" we slipped into the room and raced after him. Splitting up I headed down the hall that would come out in front of him then breezing passed him and slowed enough as allow him to see my form for but a moment. Royce screamed and stood frozen in fear just as Rose did the same. He moved to open the door to the left of him and Rose slipped in just before him and stood waiting in the shadows. Royce rummaged through a draw and removed a candle and lit it- as he turned and raised the candle to light a small amount of the room Rose stepped out of the shadows in her white dress as to be seen by Royce before despairing from his sight and racing passed him causing the candle within Royce's grasp to go out.

He stumbled out of the room and ran down the hall all the while Rose and I brushed passed him but he never stopped as he headed for the front door but I had goten there before him and stood in front of it as he staggered into the room. I let out a low growl sending him running in a different direction screeching along the way as he saw my cloaked figure.

_'Death…Rose…now Death… Rose- now death…get me…help…going to die…nightmare…not real…Rose…Death…going…kill me…' _it was clear that he was defiantly scarred but not enough.

Rosalie's scream echoed around the large room causing Royce to stumble into the wall and cover his ears. "Royce Please! No! Royce don't do this! Please stop! Royce! Help me! Someone - Please!" Rose's screaming voice repeated what she had cried out the night of her 'death'.

Royce ran again heading for the stairs but stopped dead in his tracks as he saw Rose's broken form curled up on the stairs unmoving. He crept closer to her- adrenalin pumping through his veins but his curiosity still over rid it. He reached out to touch her but her sudden movement caused him to retreat back as Rosalie rose from her spot and turn towards him. His breathing sped up and his trembling got worse as he stared at her scarlet eyes, "please," he begged, "please don't kill me!"

She vanished behind him and breathed down his neck, "you didn't stop when I asked you to." he turned but she had already moved behind him again, "So why should I?"

"I-I was dr-drunk! I-I didn't kn-know what I was do-doing," he stuttered.

"That's no excuse!" she screeched at him causing him to fall to the ground and cover his ears. I moved to the other side of him.

"You have been sentenced," I said- my face hidden in complete darkness within the hooded cloak.

He looked up to me, "w-what?"

"You along with your four friends are charged with the rape and murder of Miss Rosalie Lillian Hale," my voice was emotionless.

He looked back between Rose and I, "you- you massacred them?" he squawked.

"Executed the murders" I said evenly.

The sun was rising and we had to leave, "your next," Rose whispered loud enough for the human to hear and Royce turned to look at her.

"Your next," I said echoing her words. We continued to repeat the two simple words over and over again getting faster and faster until it became a blur of sound. Royce curled up tight with his hands over his ears until the sun crept in through the windows and we left- leaving behind a blood splattered white rose lying next to his trembling body.

"That was slightly dramatic," Bella said raising her eyebrow at me, "Rose could have just killed him by now- way extended it?"

"It's not just about killing him- she wanted to make him fear everything. This is just one step in the plane- every night we would haunt him. He never had a peaceful night from that moment on till his death. Though the next times we drew back slightly and let his mind work for us. When he was out with others we would follow giving he small glimpse of us but no one else ever saw. When he saw one of us he would panic wildly looking around and we would always leave behind a single white rose drenched in crimson blood. He never went back to his home- staying in different hotels every night to try and run away from us but we always found him. On the night he died he hid in a room with no windows and two guards posted out in front of the only door."

That's when the scene morphed into the hallway leading to a door with the two guards posted in front of it.

When I saw the guards I stopped Rosalie, "the guards?" I questioned

"I'll just have two dispose of them," she murmured back to me. I frowned at her shaking my head but I knew that there wasn't any other way to get rid of them and we would be exposing ourselves to them.

I sighed, "Be quick and make it painless- they are innocent in all this."

She nodded and flew down the hall snapping both their necks in less than a second-nether knew what happened. I followed after her as she kicked open the door to reveal the pitiful sight of Royce curled up in a ball on the floor with a bottle of whisky clutched in his hands as he trembled- various other empty alcoholic bottles lay scattered around the room as well. The stench of urine became present in the room as the man portrayed his fear when we stalked forward towards him.

Though my main purpose was to make sure that Rose didn't drink from him- I craved to make him pay for what he did to her as well. Rose grasped Royce by his neck and pinned him against that wall, "your time has come," she hissed throwing him across the room towards me. I plucked him out of the air and slammed him to the ground and sunk my teeth in to his flesh for a moment- flooding his veins with the burning venom. From Carlisle's notes I knew that it took about fifty to sixty seconds before the venom began to start changing the human body so to make sure I sucked the venom at forty seconds- while listening to Royce's agonized screams.

Then I threw him back to Rose who delivered a hard blow to his gut then sending once more across the room back to me where I bit him once again pleased as I heard his screams before removing the venom and passing him back to Rose who delivered another blow- this time crushing his fingers as well when he raised his arm to shield her blow.

As my teeth pierce his clammy flesh for the fifth time his struggles increased as he desperately tried to crawl to the door- a door I knew that he would never reach but I let him have his small hope of freedom as I let him scamper across the floor and just before he reached the opening I grabbed his ankle and dragged him- kicking and screaming- back and sucked the venom out before bitting him again. I dug my teeth into his flesh and started to tear at it then threw him against the far wall were Rose grasped his head and rammed it in to the glass covered floor. His screams had increased when I brought his hand up to my teeth and sucked the venom out again.

Suddenly his screams cut off as his eyes rolled back into his head and his body slumped against the floor- unconscious. When I studied medicine and in my own experience I found that the human body can only take so much pain before the brain can no longer comprehend the strain and stress on the body and courses the human to become unconscious or shut down to restore its bodily functions. This is what had happened to Royce as he lay unmoving on the hard wood floor. I turned to Rose, "he'll be out for a bit- we'll clean up here then head to the forest."

She nodded and we began to make the room look as if we were never here- as well as removing the bodies of the two guards in the hall way. Once we had finished I picked Royce's limb form and threw him over my shoulder then Rose and I raced away.

The scene changed from the hallway into the dark forest- miles from any human civilisation. I had made sure that no humans were in the area as I tossed the pitiful human's body to the ground near the edge of the river. Rose grasped his hair and dragged him towards the water than plunged his head within it. Royce immediate awoke and scrambled back from the water. He trembled as he looked between both of us, "Please don't kill me," he pleaded.

Rose simply let out a growl in response, "Run," she hissed. When he didn't move she pinned him up by his neck against a tree, "you have one minute to run away as fast and as far as you can before we come after you. So run!" she growled hurling him to the ground.

He scrambled to his feet and ran into the darkness as we counted- one, two, three, four, five ….ten …fifteen … twenty …twenty-five …thirty …thirty-five …forty …forty-five …fifty …fifty-five …and sixty. I looked to Rose and smirked, "let's go hunting," and then we took off running.

We circled him- letting him see us so he would then scamper of in another direction. Rose pounced on him and started to tear at his flesh in chunks- Royce's screams echoed around the forest but no one heard – no one was going to save him.

This was Rosalie's time now- I stood off to the side watching as Rose hacked away at the disgraceful human's flesh. Blood coated everything- the forest floor, the wood of the trees, the leaves of the shrub and Rosalie- her hair was plaster flat by the crimson liquid, her ashen skin turned dark red as the blood dried and her once pure white dress was now completely scarlet in colour.

The dress that adorned Rose's form was so much more than just pieces of cloth covering naked skin- it was the personification of Rosalie's life. Like Rose the dress was once pure of any imperfection but the dress became ragged and spoiled just as Rose was when her human life ended in such a traumatic way. Though from the outside Rose looked perfect- she was far from it and like the gown she is forever changed. Just as the dress will never again be pure white, Rose will never be untainted by pain, death and blood ever again.

Royce looked unrecognisable as he tried to crawl away using his left arm and right leg for the skin of his left leg was pulled away from the muscle and bone beneath and where his feet once were only bony stumps remain now- the same treatment went to his right arm as well. How the human was still conscious I knew not but as Rosalie continued to let all her rage out on him I almost felt sorry for him- almost but not quite.

By now he would have had a concussion, almost-if not all- the bones in his body broken or crushed, internal bleeding along with the removal of several limes and so on.

Rose stalked forward grasping his good leg- yanking him back and turned him over on to his back and stomped on his knee which caused the bone to become pulverized dust mixed with flesh and mussel, "trying to run from me again?" she hissed as she continued to tear at his limb.

He seemed to pull together what little courage he had and glared up at her, "you heartless monster! What? not even hell wanted you?! Cause heaven sure didn't! Heartless Bitch!" I knew he was trying to antagonize her to end his life faster but I held my tong.

She slapped him across the face and the force caused his jaw to become dislocated as well as coursing him to roll over face down. Rose then stomped on his back- snapping his spin as Royce screeched in agony. She kicked him over to make him lay on his back and then grasped his neck and pinned him against the closest tree. She shoved her hand inside him and reached up- wrapping her hand around his heart, "You are the heartless monster," she whispered in his ear as she ripped it from his body.

He gasped in shock staring straight into Rose's eyes- but just before his eyes glazed over and stared at nothing- he whispered, "I'm sorry." Rose released Royce's corps and it slid down the tree into a heap of blood, flesh and bones on the forest floor- his features somehow appeared peaceful within all the gore.

Rose stood staring at the heart that lay silent within her hand as I walked silently up next to her. We said and did nothing for what could have been hours or seconds or even days- we didn't care.

Rose looked up to me, "It's over… he-he said s-sorry," she murmured-not believing that it was true, "I…I feel…um," she searched my eyes for understanding, "I feel different-yet the same…"

"Remember what I told you when you asked me what it is like to kill?" I asked moving to be in front of her and covered her hands that held Royce's heart as she nodded- frowning up at me, "This is what is feels like," I said calmly.

"But I didn't feel this way when I killed the first…or any of the others?"

"You were still high on your revenge for that- now that's all over you feel the change now."

"Will it go away?" she asked softly.

I sighed gently- shaking my head, "no but it will become easier though," I paused for a moment, "do regret it?" I asked softly.

She considered this for a moment and shook her head slightly, "No…no I don't," she said with no emotion within her voice.

The scene dissolved into nothingness and we were then back out in the hallway once more.

* * *

**What did you think of Rose's Story? I hope it wasn't TOO gory for you...**

**Thanks for reading! leave a review and tell me what you think- I'd LOVE to know.**


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